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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

36+4 days, and dreading going into hossie for this baby, after mw"s behaviour on my last birth

4 replies

welshbyrd · 08/04/2009 08:29

I dont know if they have the same system anywhere else, but down here, the mw that you see regularly @ weekly appointments, is the mw who will deliver your baby when the time comes. anyway, my son was born almost 6 years ago, i have an 11 year old too, so was quite aware of what to expect. I started having pains about 11ish at night, and let them become regular and stronger but going to the hossie @ 3am. by now i was exhausted, i cant for some reason, sit down when in labor, i find walking the contractions through more managable. I coped with the walking method until about 7am, just walking around n around in the small room on maternity ward. By now my feet were painfully sore, i was also very tired. I asked the mw for an epidural, as i had had one previously with my son. and she encouraged me not to. I explained it was not the contractions i needed it for but the fact i was so tired, and my feet couldnt cope with anymore pacing, again she discouraged this. Saying that it was early and that she would have to wake up an anthesistist, as it was still very early, she also stated that she would be needing another mw or someone of a profession to open the delivery suite, because it requires 2 people to open or something.And you have to be given the epidural in the delivery suite, which would require waking someone else up, a mw or someone to open the delivery suite, So rolled in a trolley with all the delivery bits on it,into the sideroom off the maternity i was in. I kept requesting for the epidural, and it was refused again. Finally about 9am she eventually gave in, and send for an epidural, thank god it arrived, and i remeber being able to sleep, i woke up @ 10am, and my son arrived @ 10.20am.This mw attended to weigh and see my son for the 1st couple of days out of the hossie, to which she made a point of asking " are you still happy you had the epidural? you had no pain relief up until then, i was sure you was going to go all the way without pain relief" i told her that had i not had the pain releif and the sleep, i would never have been able to have pushed my son out, i was exhausted, and would not have had the energy.
Imagine my horror when i had my 1st mw booking in home visit for this pregnancy, i opened my front door and there she was, the same bloody midwife, im determined to have the same pain releief as my other labors, as pethidine makes me very ill, and makes baby sleepy, and gas and air makes my mouth dry, and me physically sick.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MuffinBaker · 08/04/2009 08:33

You can request a different midwife.

welshbyrd · 08/04/2009 08:51

I havent see the same mw since, every appointment ive had since has been with other mws, dont know where she has been. However, because she came for my 1st booking, i think she will be there on the day. She isnt a horrible mw, in general before the birth, she was lovely. Ive got a mws appointment this morning, so think i shall ask her {depending which mw i see}, is it the same system with delivery{ does your booking mw deliver baby when time comes}, or is it different now. Tbh things have changed alot from my last pregnancy, new advice, different theorys etc etc. When i had my daughter almost 11 years ago, it was the mw @ the hossie than did it all. hmmmm yes i didnt think to ask before. I feel abit of a pain asking for someone else, i know its up to me, and tbh i dont want to cause any problems, i know stupid aint i?

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reikizen · 08/04/2009 09:01

In her defence, I think she was trying to do the right thing by you. It is part of what we do as midwives to try and protect the normal and if we think a woman can manage without an epidural we will encourage her to do so because we know they can potentially lead to other problems, but it is a fine line. Tbh, I think we are in an impossible postition re: pain relief, I have read so many threads on her about how women were 'forced' into having interventions they did not want but also ones like yours where you feel you were denied something you did want. Perhaps if you have a birth partner who can fight your corner for you, prime them in advance and write a birth plan which states you want an epidural.
Please don't worry about asking for a different midwife, I'm sure she would feel put out about it but it isn't her feelings that are important in this situation is it? Good luck.

welshbyrd · 09/04/2009 20:11

Thanks for your advice reikizen, i do understand mws have a hard time. I do stress the mw was a lovely person on my weekly visit, however did have a bad experience through the labor. Good news though, spoke to mw yesterday and she informed me that they stopped doing hat system last year. So will have a hospital mw instead, i have however, as a precaution, made my partner very aware of my thoughts, so if need be in hossie he can speak up if i find im not getting heard
thanks again for advice, and i really didnt mean the post to be aimed at mws being awful. x

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