very scared and nervous mum to be. in need of reassurance.

[18mumtobe]

hi everyone

i surpose its mentioned alot on here, or maybe i'm just being a wimp. ive only got 5 wks to go until due date and starting to get very scared and anxious about the birth, although ive thought about it all the way through now its getting so close i surpose its starting to really sink in that i'm gonna have to go through it whether i like it or not. everyone keeps telling me theres now point worrying coz its got to come out some when, but that really dosen't help and just makes me think about it more.
i don't really know what excatly im scared of, but i surpose its worrying about being able to cope with the pain, and if ill be able to hold myself together or if ill get hysterical and lose it. as im only young ive never had any thing done down there before and have always been very shy about it, so im worried that i won't let anyone near it and clam up with fear.
im also worried that i just won't be able to do it, it dosen't seem possible for a baby to come out of that tiny opening even though i know it can coz ive seen all the programs and stuff and i know otherwise no one would have babies.

well sorry to go on, and sound like a scaredy cat. i was just wandering if any one had any words of encourage and reasurance.

thanx

Don't worrry I think everyone feels the same. I certainly did. I gave birth where I work and I was paranoid of looking a complete fool. I work as a nurse(I seem to be saying that a lot at the moment on here!) and I know how you all too often end up feeling about patients who seem to complain for complaining sake IYSWIM. I was scared they would think I was like that. And, I think they did for a while, the midwife didn't think I was in established labour, but when they checked I was 10 cms and ready to go! So there to her! I thought I would end up with a CS, but I had ds in about 5 hours, which I think is quite respectable. Don't worry too much about people looking 'down there' and things. It dosen't happen very frequently and if you are anything like me, you will be beyond caring!! Not sure that sounds too reassuring, but I'm sure you will do great!

I do use to many ! marks don't I?

thanx flossam

You sound exactly like I did before my dd was born.

The thing that helped me so, so much was a book called 'Birthing from Within'

Look it up on amazon or something, read the reviews and see what you think. I really can't praise it highly enough for dealing with the sort of feelings you're experiencing.

FWIW, I had a fantastic birth and would do it again in an instant.

Take Care,

xxx

18mumtobe, I know exactly how you feel. I have 9 weeks to go, and I'm 30 and the thought of giving birth makes me feel sick! Believe me, I am such a wimp, can you believe I even wrote my will out before I went to the dentist to have my wisdom teeth out!! I think the worst thing when expecting your first child basically is the not knowing what to expect, you can read other peoples experiences all day long, but it doesn't really prepare you for it, does it? Please try not to stress about it though, it really won't help. Just try to think about it as something you will need to go through before you get to cuddle your little one . Also, when the time comes, it won't hurt to mention to the midwife that you are very shy and nervous, and I'm sure they will do everything they can to help you through. Who is going to be your birth partner?

Hi. Im so glad i came across this thread today as this was pretty much what i was coming onhere to say. Im due in 2 days and i am so scared. Im not really brilliant with pain, though not a total wuss. I had menigitus this time last year and it has made me quite scared of being poked and prodded. Like you i am very unsure about people in "those parts" as i havnt even had a smear as when i went i clammed up so much i was allowed to leave. The way i am trying to look at it is that the baby is going to have to come out, it will hurt like nothing i have experienced before but then the whole joy of having met my little baby will make it all seem worth while. My mum is my birthing partner and i was getting myself so worked up, but i broke down and spoke to her about it and she re assured me, and asked how i wanted it to be etc and that really helped me. So maybe talk to who ever is going to be with you, tell them your fears. Personally i found this helped. I know its not much but i hope you will be ok. Ill let you know how it goes for me. Best of luck x

oh one thing to add 2 actually ,,first with dd 1 i was so nervous of having my "BITS" on show ,,but believe me once you are in labour you wwont care whos there and would prob sell tickets .2nd thing i have 3 dds so it cant be that bad or everyone would stop at one ,,good luck and hugs

thanx everyone for your massages

hugs