If applicable, did you keep your older DC in childcare or take them out of it when you were off on ML with new baby?

[ilikeyoursleeves]

I'm due in July and need to tell the nursery fairly soon what our plans are for DS. He is 16 months and goes to nursery 2 days a week. Things are going to be tight for us on this next mat leave due to me only getting maternity pay for a part time job this time. I don't think we can keep DS in nursery for the whole of my mat leave (even for just one day a week) but thinking maybe we could leave him in for his 2 days for about a month or two after the new baby is here? Not sure what to do at all really. What did you do? Did you take your kids out of nursery / childminding or leave them in when you were off on ML again?

DS was in nursery full time before I had DD. He kept going two days a week for 6 months after she was born, even though I wasn't going to return to work. He enjoyed it. So did I TBH.

I kept DS there full time - but did shorter days and lots of afternoons off etc. I was lucky enough to get excellent mat pay. It worked for us - he loved it there and is very energetic. I als got time with DD. I was however finishing my phd at the same time so needed to work on that whenever DD was sleeping/ restful. If they enjoy it I would really recommend keeping them there for at least a short time after the birth. Helps you when you have been up all night and helps them with continuuity and time away from this small creature who has taken over lol!!

I started my current ML in October last year - DS1 was already going to nursery 4 days a week and we planned to drop it to 3 days a week from December.

However, the reality of the situation was that DS1 is a very boisterous, full-on kind of child (he was 2.4 at the time) plus there was quite a bit of jealousy which came out as aggression towards the baby etc - so we decided that it was better to let him carry on going 4 days a week as he could get rid of all his energy etc and I could focus on the baby for a bit - plus he has been going to nursery since he was 7 months old so knows no different.

4 months later, he is still going 4 days a week and he has never questioned it, absolutely loves going and, after giving me and DS2 a kiss at the door, runs in without a backward glance so I am not planning on changing it between now and me returning to work in September. Fortunately my mat pay is such that we can afford to do this - obviously I would have to cope if we couldn't afford it.

That is not to say that I don't feel guilty about it - I do everyday and it feels 'wrong' in some way. But, realistically, I know I am not cut out to be a SAHM and as DS1 loves nursery so much and gets so much out of it, then I try and ignore the guilt I feel about someone else looking after him when I am at home all day.

On both my mat leaves for subsequent children, I have continued with my childminder but on reduced hours (3 days a week rather than 5). It gives the older child(ren) continuity and gives me a break with the baby. I do feel guilty about it, but I also do it because I would lose my places with my lovely CM and that would break my heart (and the older DDs' hearts too!).

In your situation, I would leave him at nursery for a while after the birth for the continuity for him, and to give you a chance to get to know the new baby before you have two of them at home all the time.

Left him in, but reduced to 3 mornings a week. He's going to be starting school in September and I'm hoping that it will be an easier transition from 3 mornings in nursery to 5 full days in school than it would've been had I taken him out of nursery.

Dd was in nursery full time but it just seemed like an unnecessary expense when I wasn't working full time and actually having a bit more time together before ds was born was just lovely. She then went to preschool for 5 sessions a week but your ds would be too young for that. I was aware that with a new baby on the way I didn't want to cause too much extra upheaval for her, so I agonised over what to do. I think you would both benefit if he had even one half day a week, certainly at the start- it would give you and the baby some time alone, and give you the opportunity to catch up on sleep

Am due in June - DS1 goes 3 days per week, am dropping in to 2 until I go back to work in April when both he and DS2 will go 3 days per week.

I think it is great we are able to afford this so I get some time alone with the new baby. We have no family nearby so I will defo need the extra help!

I left dd1 in for two days full time and two days morning pre school for a year after i had dd2.
I did think i would go back to work though so worried in case the nursery place wouldn't be available if i gave it up.
It helped for continuity for dd1 i think and gave me some time to spend with dd2.
I would keep up his routine even if it only for month or two.

ds went to cm 3 days per week all the way through my mat leave. I liked that he still had his routine when all about him was chaos! I also enjoyed having some time just with baby dd as all the time when ds was home was filled with his incessant demands!

I have a very similar age gap to you between mine - 21 months and you will have about 20 months, I think.

I'm glad to see other people are keeping their childcare arrangements. DS is continuing full time at his childminder - like others who've kept the same arrangement, I get good maternity pay - we'll be broke when I go on to SMP for a few weeks (currently on full pay) and when I go back and both dcs are at CM. DS1 enjoys CM and it enables me to focus on DS2's needs. I don't want to lose her, and she will take DS2 when I return to work. As I ended up with an emergency c-section and being readmitted with ds2 almost immediately due to huge weight loss, I'm not sure what we would have done if we hadn't had childcare.

I will have to look after them both for a few weeks in the summer when the CM is on holiday, she also had a day off yesterday and I may take him out for part days to do something with him in the meantime.

I think keeping him at nursery for a month or two at the start is a good idea, as on those two days you'll have a little time to concentrate on new baby. Also, you'll have 3 days with both of them even when you're doing that.

When he's 2 it may be worth finding out if there are any playgroup sessions near you that he can go to even once a week, as they're often less expensive than nursery. And look out for fun stuff that you can take them both to - this varies a lot as do baby and toddler groups anyway.

Consider what you want to do once the new baby is older. It can be hard to get a place in a nursery as many have waiting lists and if you took your DS out you may not be easily able to get back in. Likewise if you cut hours down you may not be able to increase these later on as easily as you might hope, so chat to the nursery about it.

Personally we left DD#1 in nursery her 2 days a week when DD#2 came along and it was lovely to have a couple of days a week for must me and my new baby.

must=just obviously!