Unhelpful comments about size from strangers

[Fran44]

Hi everyeone,

This is my first post and it's a winge. I've always carried big and have recently been diagnosed with polyhyraminos (excess fluid) and am measuring 44 weeks, when I am in fact 38 weeks. A scan has also reveaIed a big babe. I am sick to death of strangers coming up to me and asking if I'm carrying twins. And then when I reply that no, I'm not, them commenting on how massive I am. As if I don't know. WHY??? And am I aware that I look like I might burst? Well perhaps I might and if I do their feet will get very wet!! (angry)

I'm aware that I'm hyper-sensitive but it's really not necessary as I know I'm massive. I even had it at work before leaving, with comments such as "come along chubby". I'm tempted to reply with a retort such as "actually I've got something wrong with me", just to embarrass them or "I'm carrying excess fluid and a big baby, why are you so fat?" but I dare not.

Anyone else been the target or perhaps well meaning but hurtful comments?

Fran x

38+4

Oh yes, I remember it well! It's normally from people who are quite rotund themselves too! I resorted in the end to saying 'oh I'm not pregnant, I just absorbed a lot of shit from those round me and look, you just added some more, cheers for that'.

Just shout at them "I'M GROWING A PERSON IN HERE, NOT A GERBIL, OF COURSE I'M BLOODY GINORMOUS YOU MUPPET!"

That should shut them up!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha, what great retorts. Thanks for that. I would LOVE to reply as such!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha, what great retorts. Thanks for that. I would LOVE to reply as such!

It's out of order for them to come over just to comment on it.

I felt bad though when a woman at toddler group last week said she was due in May as I hadn't even noticed she was pregnant and commented on how small she was without thinking. I know that can really upset people so I really regretted it.

Perhaps nobody should mention a pregnant woman's condition at all then we wouldn't have these problems.

Occassionally it's ok. I don't mind comments such as "You're blooming". I'm not, I'm bloody massive. Even "I bet you can't wait until s/he's born" is just about acceptable. It's the public property assumption that winds me up. And boy does it wind me up. Not enough to insult them back though apparently. Maybe one day...

What riles me is the fact that people don't have a clue what they're talking about - I wa in Sainsbos the other day when the check-out girl commented on how big I was - she then asked how far along I was, and when I told her that I was 30 weeks, she then asked how much longer did I have left -If you don't know how long a pregnancy lasts, then how can you judge whether someone is big/small for dates?!

fran, I'm 38 + 2 with 2nd DC and have the same stupid comments as last pregnancy, exacerbated by being in Holland where people are very open and not shy about commenting. I am very thin with skinny arms and legs, with a massive bump stuck on the front, and I admit it looks comical, I swing round and people's eyes pop out as I look thin from behind. Had 'oh, you look more like 10 months pregnant' from the guy in the gym, (when was 7 months), and 'what a lovely massive round tummy!',) nearly every Dutch person mumbles 'lovely tummy!' as I walk past!

I try not to be cross because pregnant women are a source of mystery and inspiration, people see them as a symbol of life, imagine themselves having kids or remember when they had kids etc, it's a very powerful image. So I try not to take it personally or actually be nasty, but it's hard!

On a lighter note, when I wasn't even pregnant I was standing on a station platform in Utrecht, and there were 2 very young guys behind me, about 16-17, and I turned round to look at something and one said to the other

'from behind, she looks 18, from the front, 40!' I was SOOOO mortified (I am 32 and don't look older but was wearing very severe glasses).

By the time I was six months pg I was so fed up with people telling me how mahoosive I was that, when a new colleague at work (a nurse) asked how far along I was, I said, "I'll only tell you if you promise not to ask if it's twins or if I've got my dates wrong". She promised. I told her. She said, "Are you sure you don't have diabetes?"

if it's getting to you then embarrass the person by saying it's because of an illness called polyhydraminos and explain more about it. They have been rude enough to comment so you can be forthright back.
I'm measuring small for dates and am not happy about ppl calling me "neat" etc without a thought as to what it might mean. I've taken to saying "yes I keep having to have scans cos the doctors are worried the baby isn't growing properly". That shuts 'em up...

I'm 31 wks and quite big. My husbands aunt asked me 3 times in about 10mins the other day whether it was twins. I managed to grit my teeth and say 'no, it's not' politely whilst inside I was thinking - God, how rude can you be? Lots of people say I'm huge and I just think 'oh Fu*k off, I'm having a baby. What's your excuse?' but of course I don't say it because I'm basically a polite person!!!!!! I would love to say that sometimes though, would be great.
You have my sympathy - people are so thoughtless and when you're pg it seems there are no boundaries as to what kind of comments people think they are able to make.
Good luck with your new baby.x x

God yeah, people can be arses,

Not so much with dd (6lb) but with ds (9lb)I was a whopper. My theory is that bumps look bigger in comparison when you are smaller framed, well that's what I liked to tell myself..

I had loads of comments but one that really stood out was one woman at dd's school who I hardly knew who made a point of coming up to me, grinning fatuously and saying 'God, you're huge, aren't you!' and then wandering off. Weirdo .

For some reason when you are obviously pregnant you become public property for comments/touching etc. Some people love the attention but for me it was a pita, you have my sympathies.