Help! Advice on possible baby blues, please!

[SoooWorried]

Hi. Sorry if this is a long post! I feel like I'm driving myself a bit mad and would appreciate some advice. When DD was born - who was my first - I was totally overwhelmed, felt totally out of my depth and felt I never really felt the immediate bond or rush of love that Mums talk about. I cared for her and coped well but always felt a bit of a fraud to be honest. I wondered at the time if I had a touch of PND or Baby Blues but was too scared to tell anyone about it. I'd been desperate for a baby for years, it was a planned pregnancy and felt totally relaxed and prepared until she was born. It all changed when she was 8 weeks old and my SIL had a still born baby. I suddenly realised that I was spoiling it for myself and everything clicked into place.
She's 2 now and I adore her, we're very close and I sometimes forget I even felt this way. I'm due to give birth again in 3 weeks and I'm really scared I'll feel the same way again. Can anyone help? Thank you. X

Hi - didn't want to ignore your post.

I had my DD 21 months ago and was also quite bewildered and overwhelmed by it all....the bonding did happen but not suddenly or early on as some people experience....but I don't believe in love at first sight either. I suffer from anxiety and was put on ADs pretty quick, so with help from friends and family, got on ok.

I had my DS nearly 6 weeks ago, and this time was very different. I knew what to do with him for a start....bonding was much quicker....we definately had a bit of second child syndrome (hardly any visitors etc) and that made me very protective over him....he is just as important to me as DD was when I had her....I spent 2 days in hospital (had a section) and knew this was my only time alone with him, and I made the most of it. Also, when pg for the first time, I marvelled in the pregnancy, shopping and the whole experience of it all, and didn't really think about afterwards, whereas this time, I knew exactly what I was in for and really looked forward to having those newborn moments again....I know I'm rambling a bit...does it make sense at all?

basically, you probably won't feel the same, but will have different experiences. If you feel overwhelmed at all, speak to your HV...my anxiety was pretty bad throughout my 2nd pg and was awful just after DS1 was born, but things are settling down a bit now.

Good luck x

I actually feel very similarly to you and have also suffered anxiety and panic attacks although I have never taken medication for them. My first pregnancy sounds like yours too. I also shopped madly and enjoyed every second. This time I've been much more laid back and haven't bothered too much about how the nursery is decorated or how my child is dressed.
I feel so much better. Thank you very much.

That's good. Go with the flow...good luck and enjoy your new baby....you're right, it doesn't matter what their room is like or what they wear.....I didn't buy a thing for DS.

Good luck x