Things you cannot do when you are pregannt

[grommit]

I am having difficulty remembering the list of things not to do when you are pregnant so thought I'd ask the experts. Food - soft cheese, shellfish, liver, pate, uncooked eggs. I also remember something about not wearing underwire bras, not visiting birthing sheep, not using electric blanket, not spraying garden pesticides, not gardening without gloves....Anything else??

No sushi. Don't know why.

tinyfeet, it's because of the raw fish and the risk of food poisoning (and toxoplasmosis??).

Yes Batters it was me who said that when pg in France at 6 mths plus and very obvious, I shocked every waiter who practically ran towards me with a bottle of red in every restaurant, by refusing. Apparently its good for you to drink a glass of red wine when you're pg in France. However, I didn't as I have never seen the point of just one glass......

Would like to come out in Ghosty's defence (gently though). Firstly I've been told that pregnant women are actually more likely to be at risk of listeria et al. Its the same for young children and Old age pensioners so its not strictly true to think simply because runny eggs never gave you listeria/salmonella (can't think which is appropriate) that they wont do so whilst pregnant.

Next I've found that a lot of people poo-poo my abstinences with comments like "what did they used to do", well figures show that they used to die. Sorry to be dramatic but I think we happily forget how successful pregnancy is now. Up until the 1930's only 25% of pregancies went on to make it to their 1st birthdays and ok we now have tonnes of rules for when we're pregnant and tonnes of rules for when to wean and what not to feed them but that's because science is moving forward and we are understanding more and more about the development of our bodies. I find it a shame that instead of supporting us whilst we try to do our best we get this sort of "you're an over the top mother" attitude. I have to say that there are many things that I'm absolutely longing for!

Like Ghosty I'm probably a little too sensitive because I've had a miscarriage which has left me feeling raw and frightened - to think that this used to be the norm and that even after giving birth the baby didn't have a large chance of survival leaves me shuddering. I am therefore a lot more passionate during this pregnancy about doing my best and I can really understand where Ghosty is coming from. I miss alcohol like crazy and in recent weeks have succombed but only to the extent of taking a sip from dh's glass of pouring a little into my mineral water because frankly I'm sick to death of mineral water but don't really like other soft drinks. I totally agree that this is my choice and the reason was not funnily enough because of all the rules but more that I wouldn't allow my three year old to drink and suddenly felt that giving my 8 wks before even due child a drink. I keep meaning to look up how much goes across because I'm certainly not worried about FAS more a guilt attack over getting my unborn baby drunk!

I just wanted to say that we shouldn't poo-poo what science has discovered for us and totally agree that the decisions we take are personal. Its just that I think it would be nice to be supported rather than see as neurotic when all I'm doing is trying my best given current knowledge. As an adult I have big problems with Irritable bowl syndrome and unfortunately my mother has read somewhere that this was put down to the advice given to her that roughage (porridge) was put into bottled milk to help the baby sleep through the night. She's wracked with guilt, which is a shame because as far as I'm concerned she did the best she could with the knowledge she was given.

Wills - you're right - you can only do what you think is best for you and your baby. One person's anxiety levels may well be lower than another's simply because of their situation & experiences. In my case becoming pg after IVF meant that I was willing to give up pretty much anything. Having said that I did read that being anxious in itself is a problem, which seemed like such a no-win situation that I started having the odd glass of red as a relaxant. And because I wanted one

No-one's mentioned ice-cream, which I thought you had to avoid because of the eggs. Please say this is true - it nearly killed me avoiding it!

Sorry that turned into a rant and I didn't mean it to be one. Just wanted to say that it would be nice for those who do decide to abstain to be supported rather than seen as neurotic. I'm currently finding it a) hard to abstain and b) hard to justify to people who want to call me neurotic.

Ah - I know the ice-cream one. You have to avoid the soft stuff that comes out of machines like ice-cream vans but the normal tub stuff is fine. Must admit if ice-cream hits the list I may well sit and cry!

Oh and I know what you mean re: panicking

well you can all ignore me completely as I've just been diagnosed with food poisoning. from chicken apparently, although I've never eaten a chicken sandwich or a pre-cooked chilled chicken meal in this pregnancy - do all my own chicken cooking so it is clearly my fault. although I've always been paranoid about cooking chicken properly so who knows how this has happened?

going to slink off to the doctors to pick up my prescription now...

Eeek, as far as I'm aware its only the soft whippy ice cream that you get from vans because of listeria. The rest is fine.

Far better description Pie - thanks

I think the milkshakes you get from McDonalds etc are also out of bounds... same reasoning.
What a bummer

well, it would also be nice for those who decide not to abstain in line with current guidance to feel supported...

a genuine question. where do you find out all this stuff? i've decided to use the web for info this time as books get out of date so quickly.

so far i've looked at:

*Dept of Health - useless
*Food standards agency - useful comments on a variety of subjects, but doesn't seem to be comprehensive
*NCT Pregancy and Babycare - useful comments some of which are contradicted by FSA
*BBCi - still wading through this one, lots of info under different classification, parenting, family, pregnancy, diet etc.

can anyone recommend a reputable, evidence based, comprehensive source of info on the web?

also have found no reference so far to avoiding pre-packed sandwiches anywhere! also, lots of mentions on the peanut question - what about other nuts?

thanks in advance.

Wills, have I missed something here? Nobody called you neurotic did they? In fact, I more or less admitted that I'm probably neurotic for worrying so much about having the odd glass of wine after reading stuff here. I'm sooo suggestible this pregnancy it's not true and I was very glad of the reassurance about a couple of glasses of wine and FAS. I don't think any of us should feel guilty for doing what is best for us personally so wills, if you don't want to drink at all I don't think anyone thinks there's anything wrong with that. Do they? Thanks everyone for the reassurance here and Ghosty, I know you didn't mean to panic me m'dear. PPH, sorry to hear about your unpronouncable illness, I hope you get better soon. Getting it didn't mean your advice wasn't sound though

Bossykate. I have found a website called mumsnet.com to be an invaluble source of information .

Also bupa is quite good - especially the last link

www - No I didn't mean anyone on mumsnet - really sorry if it came across in that way. No my inlaws and people around me think I'm over the top so I suppose I'm probably very sensitive. My step-father in particular has poo-poohed all my attempts with my daughter to restrict what she eats/drinks and goes out of his way to go against my wishes. For instance giving her brandy when she was only 9 months. Just recently found my mother feeding my dd peanuts even though they know I have a serious nut allergy myself making her high risk!

BK - yep you're right in that all should be supported in their decisions.

teehee, prufrock! great link, thanks, wow 10 cups of tea per day, that's a lot of biscuits...

wills, it's not surprising your sensitive under the circumstances, not long now, eh?

thank god for the 10 cups a day. I read in Junior that women who have more than 3 cups of tea/coffee a day were 80% more likely to have a miscarriage. Sent me into a complete blind panic, luckily though the BBC then decided to do an article proving that it was 10 cups. Phew!

prufrock. wills, sympathies on your parents, I see why you're annoyed too, sorry I misunderstood.

bossykate, I have one that will show you that in some respects even sensible paranoid me will throw caution to the wind...

I eat sushi.

There I've said it.

I did with DD, I've done it about 4 time this time. Both times its the only thing guaranteed not to come back up.

In Japan pregnant women eat it except during high summer. I'm very careful about where I get it from, only proper ridiculously priced Japanese restuarants.

But there, I'm living dangerously.

God I feel awful now.

pie- sushi's got to be better all round than the risk of morning sickness induced starvation. I say go for it. Oh, and have an ice cream for me.

Ugh - I thought it was only sushi that had raw fish in it. I've certainly been eating most types just avoiding the raw fish stuff. Also technically smoked salmon is also raw - but I've read that its fine to eat. Does anyone know why?

hi everyone

this page from babycentre looks good so far...
is it safe to...?

will work through it...

I sympathise here with all the bloody guidelines we are given when pregnant. I'm fed up of being told what I can and can't eat! I also know how frustrating it is when family go against your wishes and let your child do something or be fed something that you disagree with. An example I can think of is when dd was just under 12 months old, I took her to a family party and she was grabbed from my arms at every opportunity! She got very distressed at one point and started crying, I desperately wanted her back but she was still passed from person to person! Then I noticed my eldest brother, who has 3 girls of his own, stuffing a chocolate gateaux into her mouth to try and shut her up! I snatched her back but she was later sick all over the place! Dh's mum also used to feed her those Muller yoghurts when she was just months old, totally unsuitable for babies!

I have not given up alcohol, even before 12 weeks I would have about 3 units a week. AND I used to drink a little whilst breastfeeding too. I try to stick to red wine or Guinness as they are better for you. But to be quite frank, I don't think that by the time the alcohol gets to them, it will do much harm, not in the amounts I consume anyway. If it does, then I am the one who will have to live with that. But as others have said, it is our decision and we should be supported whatever we decide. We give up an awful lot for our children, and just now and then it is nice to do something for ourselves without having the guilt brigade tearing out our throats! As a pregnant woman I really do feel more disabled because of all the restrictions that are put on me. I think a bit of common sense is necessary.

I think if you squeeze lemon juice on smoked salmon, it cooks it