pregnant in a foreign country

[ursigurke]

Hi! I'm Austrian living in the UK and I thought it might be nice to get in touch with other pregnant foreigners here in the UK or British women in other countries. I suppose the own system always seems better as it is more familiar but I guess in the end, there are lots of happy babies everywhere.
I do not really know what is going to happen, I've seen the GP when I knew I was pregnant but he only wanted to know in which hospital I wanted to have my baby. It seems to be necessary before getting any kind of advise or examination.
He didn't explain me what will happen eventhough I told him that I was not familiar with the British system and that it was my first pregnancy. To tell him about my choice, the receptionist only asked me to write him a note so now, I guess I have to wait until being contacted (hopefully within the next 8 months )
One other thing, could anybody explain me all those shortcuts used on this homepage? I probably figured out some of them but I'm not sure...

Hello and congratulations! have you joined the Ante Natal thread for the month you are due in? they really are fabulous and you get to know people so well before your baby arrives. I am Scottish living in Spain but still post on the AN thread. We also have Australians living in the UK, Brits in France and French in Britain so a real mix.

I do understand your feelings, I had my 1st baby in Scotland and am a little bit apprehensive about having my next baby here in Spain because it does all feel "foreign" but the more you talk to people in the same boat, the more relaxed you'll feel.

I remember when I was first pregnant with my son in the UK, it felt like such a long time between getting pregnant and seeing the the Midwife, I saw her first around 10 weeks I'd say that is when they begin the "booking in" process and you should get all the information that you need at your first appointment with the midwife.

Not sure what you mean about the short cuts - the abbreviations?

Yes, I've joined the ante natal thread already and I agree with you being in the same boat with other people makes it easier.
The long time between getting pregnant and getting an appointment seems quite long here.
That annoys me as during the first weeks lots of things could go wrong so I would like to get more information or some kind of examination.
My husband was actually making fun of me because I had immediately ordered books about pregnancy. Now I'm happy that I have them as the GP wouldn't even have told me about folic acid if I hadn't asked him.
Short cuts, yes I meant abbreviations (stupid dictionary).
I've already figured out that DS and DD mean son and daughter (at least I hope so). But what does the D stand for? AF was quite tricky but with wikipedias help, I got that too. TTC trying to conceive?
There are some others but I don't remember them at the moment.

Hi Ursigurke
welcome to MN. There is a list of the abbreviations somewhere, I will try and find it for you.

I am Scottish and lived in Germany for many years, during that time I had 2 children. I know what you mean about being pregnant in a foreign country. Things are done very differently. I think that the most important thing is not to compare the two countries too much. There are things that you will find better in UK than in Austria and things that you prefer the Austrian way.

Acronym list

hello!

i'm english but had dd1 in germany and ds1 in canada. dd2 was my first national health service baby (in scotland) and ended up in scbu for 5 weeks. i kind of wished i'd stayed overseas lol!

there are very different cultures around being pregnant in different countries, and also some differences with normal birth practises (for example - who delivers the baby/ monitors labour, whether you see a doctor at all, whether the baby stays with you in the hospital or gets whisked off to a nursery - whether they force feed the newborn fennel tea lol....) so it depends on what you know already

good luck!

I will never get over how quick they send you home in UK. I got a txt from my mum this morning to say that my cousin has had her baby and that they will be going home today. In Germany you are kept in for at least 3 days.

Mme Lindt - thanks for the acronym list, it's very helpful.
I agree, each country has good sides.
In Austria I used to see my gynaecologist twice a year and that's where you go first. Here I had to register with a GP first (could have done that earlier), it's the one around the corner and I do not really know if his lack of communication is his "fault" or if it is the system.
Not knowing the system makes it difficult to judge if something is going wrong or if that's just the way it goes.
But I really like the fact that in the UK midwives are quite important and that you do not have to have a doctor around all the time.
And about how long you have to stay in the hospital: My sister had her baby in Austria where you now "can" leave the hospital after a couple of hours if you want. She wanted to do that and first I found it almost irresponsible because I knew that "normally" you had to stay longer. But now I think it was good - in the end, if everybody is fine, your own flat will always be more relaxing than a shared room with three other mums and babies. In general I think, the earlier you can leave a hospital the better (and safer)
madwomanintheattic - it really depends on what you know already, that's why I've started this tread, hearing about other customs just shows that there are a few more options to finally have a healthy baby in your arms than just the one you knew.
And reading books helps too.

I totally agree with what you are all saying about things being different but not necessarily better or worse in different countries. I think it is hard not to compare though when all you have is your own experience to go by it isn't helpful to do so though as it just stresses you out. I've had a day of it today!

Hello Ursigurke! and Congratulations!

I'm an American living in the UK for the last 5 years and I'm 20 weeks pregnant. I was pregnant early last year and miscarried but I had started a thread especially for expats in the antenatal clubs section - it was really helpful at the time and it turns out there are tons of women on here in the same boat - we might need to resurrect that thread!

I definitely agree, the books are quite helpful - prenatal care in the UK is very "hands-off" which has its good points and its bad points. I think at first I had a 'no one really cares' feeling, but now that I've been assigned a midwife, it's slightly better.

I also found not seeing a gynecologist really disconcerting at first, but the midwives generally do offer great care and I find are quite sympathetic.

If you have any questions, let me know - I'm no expert of course, but can try to help! Good luck!

I'm Belgian and have had my babies here. THB I'm happy that I've had them here and not over there because of

1. the UK is a lot less medicalised. All my friends/family have had internals from 36-37 weeks (why??), random CTG monitoring for no good reason,...
2. better choices in terms of pain relief in labour in the UK
3. midwives are actually an asset to the UK, even though English women don't realise. They keep things a lot more 'normal', less focussed on what can go wrong
4. post natal midwife's home visits!
5. You get to go home much more quickly. I hate sleeping in hospitals!

That's funny, cos I'm a Brit living in Belgium, and I much prefer things here! My sil had a nightmare first experience in the UK, but everyone I speak to here is happy with their treatment etc. I think maybe the quality of care in the UK varies quite a lot depending on what part of the country you're in....

I'm happy with care in Belgium, as I prefer the idea of not being thrown out of hospital immediately after birth (sil was sent home the same day with #2!!), of having someone at the birth who has followed me the whole way through (I have a heart murmur and low blood pressure, which may or may not cause problems), and of having people around to help me for the first few days before I go home (all my family live in the UK and I have no friends with kids here yet).

Amyboo another thing I noticed with my friends/family in Belgium is that there don't seem to be national guidelines and a lot of the care seems to be based on your doctor's own personal opinion, which can be dated. My cousin was advised to have a termination because she tested positive for the CM virus , luckily she was smart enough to get a 2nd opinion and she carried her baby to term and he's fine. That sort of thing wouldn't happen in the UK.
You'll also find that a lot of mums, especially 2nd time mums, want to go home straightaway. There was no way they would have kept me in after my 2nd baby. I wanted to be with my family as I had never before left my ds for so long.
Also most Belgians are happy with their treatment, because from what I hear from my friends and family is that people still accept everything a doctor says. People don't seem to question things (such as V.E.'s during routine ante natal appointments).
I strongly feel that Belgium needs an equivalent to the NCT to question some of the old fashioned practises that are still quite comon.

I guess it's a matter of personal opinion. Personally, I think it's incredible that sil couldn't have an epidural cos there was no anethetist on call. I also think it's incredible that she had to go back shortly after giving birth, as the doctor had royally fu*ked up her stitches. Nice. Several people close to me have had some horrendous experiences with the NHS, and frankly I think it's a system with a lot of problems.

But hey ho, I guess that's one of many reasons why I moved away as soon as I graduated.

usigruke if you've seen your GP then you should next see your midwife for a booking in appointment. The timing of this depends on the area you live in, but should be around the 8-10 week mark. You'll have a scan booked for around 12 weeks which is a dating scan (they check your due date) and you'll get bloods taken around 11 weeks to check for various things.
You also have the option of a nuchal scan, which would replace the dating scan, and that's normally decided at a midwife visit.

Think you're on our November mummies thread? feel free to ask any questions there about what care people are getting and when, as we're all around the same dates.

amyboo Belgian doctors can definitely get things wrong and the lack of pn community care is a worry IMO. A friend of mine went home after the standard 5 days, then didn't see anyone for 6 weeks when she disclosed she was still bleeding, she ended up with a d&c which that doctor has clearly messed up and now has a fused cervix. Drs mistakes can happen anywhere, whether in Belgium or the UK. She was very lucky not to have an infection or even worse, sepsis.
As for your SIL, I think she's very unlucky. All units I've worked have always got anaesthetists on call, but even having one on call doesn't mean people get one straightaway, because he might be in theatre, giving some one else an epidural, etc...
As an outsider I can see the many flaws in the NHS system, but I can also see many of the positives that a lot of people who have grown up with it can't see.

Scarlotti - Yes, I'm on the november mummies thread too and thanks for the advise. As far as I understood my GP he would get things started as soon as I tell him which hospital I wanted to give birth which I did last tuesday already. I think the midwife should now contacting me. Is that normal? Or should I go back to the GP to get an appointment with the midwife?

I agree with Belgianchocolates and lastboxoftampons that having midwives much more involved that in other countries is an advantage. I suppose they see more the person and less the science.
When my sister was pregnant with her first child, she read a lot of books (so far that's the only experience I have) and in Austria (and Germany I guess) there have been big changes in the last couple of years. Old fashioned care was based on comfort of the doctor and not comfort of woman and baby: lots of light, no choice of position as for him the most comfortable is the woman lying on the bed, episiotomy as it seems to be easier for the stitching,...
Nowadays women do not just accept what "the god in white" (german expression) says and the womens comfort is much more important and I suppose that goes along with midwife led care.
In Austria there are standards of care. At your first appointment you'll get a paper called "mother-child-pass" where the results of all examinations are written down.
I think some of those examinations are "compulsory" otherwise you won't get all of your childcare benefits other are optional.

I think the problem with the NHS is that ther is not enough money and not enough doctors so there is no time for individual problems and extremely long waiting time.
For me personally the biggest concern is that I have to see the GP in my neighbourhood without really knowing if it is a good one. You can not choose the one recommended by friends... and so far I'm far from convinced of his qualities, hoping to be luckier with the midwife.

Question: are the community midwifes based in the hospital? Do you always meet the same person?

Hiya....another American living in the UK, been here about 6.5 years. Nearly 16 weeks pg with first, had a miscarriage last Sept.

lastboxoftampons, I think we might have been on some of the TTC threads together, but don't remember spotting you as a fellow American! Hi! (or it could be pregnancy brain, I can't remember anything these days)

I read Naomi Wolf's 'Misconceptions' a while back and decided I was happier being in the UK than the USA. Now just unhappy being pregnant at all because I can't stop barfing! I mean, porridge!! FFS! It's bland, not offensive in the least, and up it came....

usigurke how you contact the midwife will depend on each surgery. At mine, they no longer go to the sugery but are at a children's clinic. When I saw my gp the other day he gave me the number to call. In previous pregnancies the midwife has been attached to the surgery and so has called me.
You normally get a team of midwives and they will try and get you to see the same one each time, but it will always be one from the team. Reasoning is that then when you go to hospital you 'should' have someone you recognise.
Normally with midwife care, you only see the gp again once at around 30 weeks. All your care is done with the midwife - and you can request another if you really don't like the one you have. You'll find though that the midwives will be more interested in you and what's going on, they'll still be busy and time limited though! At least they chose their career as they love babies etc. whereas a go chooses their career for a much broader range of illnesses (or the money !!)

Ursigurke,

I have also been pregnant and given birth in a foreign country, and have many friends who have given birth in other countries.

I truly believe that the UK is the best foreign country to be pregnant in. If your pregnancy is progressing well, you have a realistic choice of getting the type of birth you want, from home birth to the full whammy of medicalisation.

If you are having your first baby, you are totally in the same boat as British women having their first babies. Any uncertainty is not down to your being foreign - just that communication is not always great (that's where Mumsnet comes in handy).

Congratulations on your pregnancy

I'm happy to see that I'm not the only one who finds many advantages in the UK system. I'm definitely not saying it's flawless, but no system is! You do certainly get more choices in the UK system regarding your birth and pain relief.

As for your CMW, she 'belongs' to the hospital, i.e. she gets paid by them, but works in the community. Generally the 'catchment area' of a hospital is divided in areas which are covered by a team of mws who cover and know that area inside out. Generally each GP surgery has a midwife who comes 1x a week to the surgery and all women at that surgery will see that midwife. If that midwife is off it will be someone from her team covering for her. Each GP works different as to how a referal to the MW works. My own GP has changed his system and so with each pregnancy it was different despite being the same GP! 1st time around I booked my own appt as soon as I knew, 2nd time around I had to fill in a slip and the CMW phoned me to arrange a home visit and 3rd time around I had to fill in a slip and one of the receptionists phoned me to book an appointment! Once you've seen your cmw for the 1st time, you'll have your booking interview and things will become clearer as to when & where you'll go for your scans, will you need to see an obstetrician, etc...
Good luck and all the best for your pregnancy!

Hi All! I'm new to this site, I'm 6 weeks pregnant (first time), I'm an Australian living in Serbia with my fiance and I'm freaking out!!! I think I will have to have to baby in Serbia because my fiance is still waiting for his prospective marriage visa to Australia, and by the time it arrives I think I will be 8 or 9 months and don't want to risk flying all that way. I definitely want him to be there for the birth. I'm scared because I'm learning the language but there is still a lot I don't know, and they do things very differently here, the economy is really bad so machines and equipment (and I assume training) are dated. I would like to have a natural labor, in a water bath (I watch my sister give birth to her two kids this way) and with a midwife, but I'm not even sure if it's an option here. Apparently the norm is to give an epidural. People think I'm weird here for wanting a natural birth because no one does it that way. Plus I'm just freaking out in general about the pregnancy and if I'm being given the right advice about what supplements to take and I just really feel so alone! My fiance is wonderful, and his close relatives are very supportive, but people like his Mum are very opinionated and I'm scared that when I'm overcome with pain of labor and don't understand what anyone is saying in Serbian that I might be forced into something I'm not comfortable with. Aaaahhhhh!!!! I'm so scared about the whole thing! It would be bad enough if I was at home, but being in a foreign country with a very different culture, language, and standard of living, it's too much! Any help or advice or similar experiences would be great! Thanks!

Hi Zlatibor, welcome to MN!

You'll have more luck starting your own thread - this one is 2.5 years old, so people are unlikely to respond to it.

Hope you find the answers you need, am also in a foreign country for my pregnancy, but heading home to give birth to DC2. Luckily it's not too far for me.

Thanks for the advice and for getting back to me! I'll try starting a new thread.

Portuguese living in the UK for the past 16 years on and off and 28 weeks today with my very first baby.
It has been very interesting comparing my pregnancy with my sister who had her first about a month ago back in Portugal. She went the private route (as the Portuguese NHS is in taters) and was followed by her gynaecologist. I found the whole process very artificial and was really sorry to find out that she was only able to breastfeed for the first week as she had no support in that area even though she was surrounded by the whole family.
Apart from the GP's idiotic behaviour (first and last time that I've been there, I'm changing practices as soon as I can), I am actually quite happy with the hospital facilities and staff that I've seen until now. It is a bit of a lottery though, and from one area to another things can change drastically.
People from my country keep on asking me if I'm having the baby there or here which I find really odd as not only all my life is here and everything there is either breaking down or extremely expensive. I will miss having my family around terribly but, in the end I chose to live here and I have created my own home and family away from home. I will have my partner and best friend with me at the birth and have hired a doula to help afterwards as I really really want to breastfeed and both my mum and my partner's mum will be popping over as soon as they can.

I'm from Finland and was surprised that after given birth 24 hours later they send you home with your baby. Baby didn't even have a bath in the hospital.

Back home 1st time mothers stay in for 5-7 days so they can rest, make sure breastfeeding is going ok, fathers are taught how to give baby a bath etc useful things.