Hi! I moved to the US last year, just before my third trimester. I didn't realise just how essential health insurance is... I also realised doctors in my local hospitals weren't too encouraging about VBACing. (I felt strongly that I wanted to VBAC and also would have seriously struggled to afford a C-Section without insurance). It gave me the push to find a midwife. I was lucky to find one who was incredible and helped me achieve a home birth I hadn't dared dream of. I agree with you though, midwives here do have a much more natural, hands-off approach than midwives in the UK that is somewhat disconcerting.
Don't panic. Being in a new place is stressful. Apparently there are phases of homesickness - but I find it more ups and downs. Sometimes I love it here, sometimes I find it hard, especially when things are unfamiliar - it IS isolating and in pregnancy, I think you want to be sort of.. nurtured and listened to. And sometimes that's hard to find that when there are language or cultural differences.
You don't say where you are, but I found the US has a rather different approach to healthcare - it's less set in stone than the NHS. You have to take more responsibility for yourself and findng your own healthcare professionals that you like, and this made me feel somehow abandoned. Also, my husband is really struggling to find work here too, and he's American, so this has been disheartening.
I understand your frustration with just being told to eat healthily. My midwife was a little like this - out to try less invasive tests and processes first, but she was happy to do blood tests etc. if I requested them, or referred me to someone who could do them. Perhaps you could find another one who is more helpful? Mine has become a friend and someone with a lot of experience who I can really trust although her methods are somewhat unconventional. The problem is, I found two extremes - the doctors pushed for very medicalised, managed pregnancies and the midwives are the polar opposite and put you more in charge. I admit, I found it a bit terrifying doing my own urine tests as she encouraged when I visited her, but she offered to do them if I wanted.
I really wish I could help you more. I've had some bleak moments here, but then I've also found some days have been wonderful and I've been able to enjoy the change in scenery, the better weather etc. It puts things in perspective for me when I go out and about.
Meh... I just wanted you to know you're not alone and things have a way of working out. Sometimes it's just a matter of doing a lot of research to figure out how things work, and prioritising what you need to do to get the help you need. (I've had a hell of a time figuring out how to register my poor baby's birth! In this city, I had to find three 'witnesses' and am waiting until my April appointment to finally register! Bureaucracy is hell, but there is usually a way through it somehow.