when is the right time to tell friends/family that your expecting??

[MissFannyAdams]

i know everybody is different but when i was pregnant with ds we told family when i was 7weeks, we hadnt planned to but my mum and dad had split up and he was moving from wales to england so i wanted to tell him before he went. fortunatly a few weeks later he and my mam got back together.
i think im preggs again, (only a lil bit pregs!!! ) and i dont really wanna tell anyone that soon, but if im anything like when i was preg with ds i was sick from early on (morning and night!) and i know i wont hide that from my mam (especailly as i see her nearly every day!!)
any advice on how to hide terrible sickness from people and when did (or would) you tell them??

and also how do you do it? cos i ended up telling my dad in the pub who then raced home to tell my mum which i was angry with cos he didnt give me the chance to do it and then they got on the phone and told uncles and aunts!! i was 18 so whether they still thought of me as a little girl i dont know!

i ve probably painted a bad pic of my family now!

i know that when i tell them they wont tell anyone else but me and dp want to keep it between us for a while.
i dont want them to be angry, upset, or shocked when i tell them because it ll upset me, ds is 2 so there s a nice gap and dc will be born 4.5 months before my wedding! (we ve postponed it from this may because of deciding to have another baby so aprill 2010 is the big day!!

I told the parents and close friends imediatly and everyone else got told at 13 weeks.

I dont think there is a right time really, ust when its right for you

I'm 5 wks pg with my 2nd and have told loads of people already - but then I wear my heart on my sleeve and would tell these same people were something awful to happen .

Plus, it's such a bloody miracle that I am pg that I can't keep it a secret!

Don't really understand the point of keeping it secret tbh - but it's a totally individual decision.

Congrats!

My rule has always been to tell those who I'd want to be there for me if I had an MC as soon as I can. Others can wait until after the first scan, which was 10 weeks for us both times.

i think its because we told everyone so quickly last time that we want it to be our little secret apart from ds listening and now he keeps say awww baby (for no reason he just walks around saying it lol) im 20 going on 21 but am still scared of telling my parents (that aint natural is it?? lol)

Congratulations!

I agree with above posters that there is no "right" time although personally I have waited until more than 12 weeks pregnant because I had told all and sundry as soon as I found out I was pregnant the first time - and then had to go round and tell everybody that I was no longer pg after I had miscarried . It also led to some awkward situations with people kindly asking how the pregnancy was going and me having to explain to them "eh, nowhere". As I had a total of 4 miscarriages, I was quite glad to have kept other pregnacies to myself until more that 3 months gone.
However, it is all good: 3 lovely DSs in the end .
Sorry, I do not mean to be negative or scare you, but the above were purely practical considerations!
Good luck

mummyfor3 i understand i had bleeding at 9weeks and everyone was "o it'll be orite" but i hated that as if it hadnt been then id have had to go and say i was no longer expecting, which would have been heart braking (i cant imagine how you felt) had a terrible pg wit ds were told allsorts from he had cf to ecogenic bowels!

I'm nearly 5 months and have told parents and work and that's it!

I didn't really tell anyone - that way it didn't feel like a really long 9 months each time, with everyone asking for updates all the time. I just let my parents know - around 4-5 months if i recall - everyone else on a need to know basis.

I told at about 12 weeks.

Am a little bit at people who tell when their due date is about 8.5 months away!

elsie, that's me! Why the face - it doesn't matter to anyone else does it?

My journey to pg has been so hellish that, for once, I want to be able to enjoy and celebrate every minute of it. If it ends it's not going to make it any easier to bear if I kept it secret is it?

Nekabu - wow! How have you got away with that? I was blatantly pregnant by 4 months with DD and by 3 months this time...

I'm 24 weeks ATM and people have already started the 'ooh not long to go now' routine, quickly followed by the 'are you sure it's not twins then?' routine. Grrr.

For one thing it's a bit self indulgent, imo.

We all want to enjoy every precious minute, but I think it's nicer to keep it to yourself for a while, or risk being a pregnancy bore!

Couldn't give a crap about being a pg bore tbh! Pg for me is very stressful and I need the support of my friends and family to help me through.

If they think I'm being self indulgent then they wouldn't be very good friends IMO!

Fair enough good luck

each to their own i would say. First time, we told parents and siblings at 7 weeks, after a scare and a scan. this time, have just told at 13 weeks, mainly because i am huge and can't do my coat up over it anymore! we told parents at about 8 weeks as i have been so sick, we nede their help. managed to hide bad sickness since the early days, but not sure how!!

I told family and close friends at 6 or 7 weeks as I was very sick and needed help/understanding.
I told others after the first scan at 12 wks.

thanks elsie

NorktasticNinja, by sneaky dressing! I have got a definite bump but I'm a bit porky anyway so I think anyone who does notice me being a bit tubby around the middle just thinks I overdid it at Christmas! The only time it's quite difficult is when I'm riding as the position does make it more obvious.

thanx everyone, so we shall hold on telling people untill i look it lol but friend and family at bout 12 wks i think.

sound good??

As someone who has miscarried I would say tell your families fairly early on. We hadn't told DH's family and then felt awkward about it after the mc (at 11 weeks), so they still dont' know. It felt like something huge happened in our lives and we had to pretend like everything was just fine. Also, I ended up telling some friends after the fact and really, it would've been so much nicer to tell when we had had happy news to share instead of sad.

This time around, we told my family around 6 weeks and his around 10 as it was Christmas and seemed a good time to tell.

We waited until after our 12 week scan to tell most friends (although some of my girlfriends knew) and I told my immediate boss and department at work. I'm 19 weeks on Friday and nearly everyone at work knows now, although it's still trickling out.

I told my family before I'd even taken the PG test . I'd say 'I'll know on Thursday whether I am PG or not'. I just couldn't hold it in as I was desperate to be PG again after a MC.

I agree its better to tell people when it is good news, if you would want them to know about a MC then you might as well tell them.

Fanny, there is no need to tell your parents if you don;t want to. Tell them in a couple of weeks and say you only just found out yourselves. They'll be none the wiser.

Congratulations!