Anybody upset about unplanned pregnancy but then went on and everything ok

[cba]

I am nearly eight weeks pregnant with number four. I was taking antibiotics which prevented my pill working.

dh and I were happy with three and this as come as a huge shock to both of us. I have know for three weeks now and the thought of another baby does not make me feel happy.

dh is not happy either. But i know i could not have a termination but i worry that i will not warm to the idea through pregnancy and worse still will become depressed after the birth.

I have not broadcasted the fact that i am pregnant, family only know.

I just feel that four is just so much more than three and I am already pushed to the limits. dh works such long hours, which will not change, in fact he will be working more abroad.

So, anybody ever felt really negative but gone on to be really happy?

Different scenario (we only have 1), but didn't want your post to go unanswered.

My pregnancy was totally unplanned. We were never not sure what happened ... (barring the obvious, of course! ).

I was pretty devastated to begin with. Cried all day when I took the test (3 times - just to be sure...). Couldn't bring myself to tell DH until the next day (he had a thing that evening, and I didn't want to spoil it). We were both quite negative: a lot was, and is, going on in our lives, and having a child was very far from our minds and plans.

Selfishly, I was totally paranoid about my career: things I wanted and needed to achieve before having a baby.

I felt like this throughout my first trimester - couldn't believe I was pregnant, really. Had hysterical giggles at the first scan ("oh look! There really is a baby inside me!") - the doctor must've thought I was a total loon.

But suddently, after that - and probably just seeing the baby, our baby, for the firs time made the difference - I felt better.

My pregnancy was really, really easy. And I realised that my baby, our DD, was my little ally, my little secret friend and companion. She decided it was her time: babies come when they want. From quite a bleak place, I moved into a really positive frame of mind.

Now she's nearly 9mo, and every bit as lovely and 'on my side' as she was when she was inside me. Every day we can't believe how lucky we are.

Our lives are still a mess, and it'll take me longer now to do the things I need and want to do. But that's ok now. I'll get there. And I'll have my DD too!

I'm sorry that you're feeling worried now: that's totally normal, I think - even without additional pressures and concerns. But you'll feel better one day - and then you'll be able to look forward to meeting your new DS or DD! Just think! He or she has decided that it's their time! He or she has chosen you and is waiting to meet you!

Testing

My second was an accident. We had one and didn't want another. We had decided to be a one child family but mother nature had different ideas. We were horrified. I booked in to have an abortion and that was that. The day before, DH and I had a long chat and decided that we probably wouldn't survive (emotionally) if we went through with the termination. So we changed our minds. Pregnancy was hell but, oh my God, I love my baby so, so much. I feel sick when I look at my baby and think of what I was going to do. My situation is different to yours as we only had one but it as so worth it. HTH

My DS was not at all planned,
there was 'wardrobe malfunction' which then resulted in me taking the morning after pill, only for it to not work.

I really put off taking a test as I thought I was pregnant but didn't want to be.
When I did take the test I cried for days,
but then it started to feel better (just as I was starting to feel worse with horrible morning sickness)

DS is 2 now and from the minute he was born I have found it very difficult to imagine my life without him, he is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Ds was not planned. Dh and I both struggled to deal with the thought of being parents at first, especially as my career was just taking off.

Ds is now nearly 2, and he has been amazing, such a lovely gorgeous baby. Number 2 is now on the way!

DD was not planned to come when she did. I intended there to be a larger gap between DS and subsequent children and was completely shell shocked when I did the test and it was positive.

Felt very ambivilent about it, booked in for a termination. Was convinced it would ruin our lives.

DD is now 3.5 and there is no way I could imagine her not being here. I think pregnancy lasting 9 months is a good thing.

I did find that pregnancy tirggered an episode of depression (I suffer long term) but actually the help I got was good in the long term as well, if that makes any sense.

thanks ladies. I understand totally how you all felt and I also understand the rush of love you have for your newborn. I suppose I am thinking of the impact on our other children.

Hi, I started a similar thread (in conception yesterday). I'm not sure if you'll let me in as I really want this baby (no. 3, no idea what stage I'm at as have been trying to pretend for a couple of weeks that a sudden aversion to alcohol is natural , as is desperately needing to go to bed at 9 pm...)
The thing is, my DDDDH is really unhappy about it. He's made no secret of the fact since DD2 was born that he doesn't want any more, and though there is no question of a termination (he is Catholic), I really do wish he didn't have to go through all this stress. He finds the noise of small children physically hard to take and though he loves our girls dearly I know he was hoping that we were gradually growing out of toys everywhere, tantrums, night wakings etc. I think he's convinced that I "did this on purpose". I know he's the one that shoots IYKWIM but he said last night he felt like I was just waiting for him to slip up on protection (I wasn't on the pill because it made me feel crap).
Ah well, I guess he'll come round. And I'm sure it'll be OK. I hope you and your DH work through it too, cba. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

jessia, of course i will let you in. I am sure your dh will come round. As i am sure me and my dh husband will. Termination is out of the question for us due to religion really and ethical beliefs.

I have the most awful morning sickenss from morning until night which doesnt make things any easier.

Your dh will get over how he is feeling my dh felt like that when we fell with our first child as it was totally out of the blue and we had only been together for 18months

jessia, of course i will let you in. I am sure your dh will come round. As i am sure me and my dh husband will. Termination is out of the question for us due to religion really and ethical beliefs.

I have the most awful morning sickenss from morning until night which doesnt make things any easier.

Your dh will get over how he is feeling my dh felt like that when we fell with our first child as it was totally out of the blue and we had only been together for 18months

jessia, of course i will let you in. I am sure your dh will come round. As i am sure me and my dh husband will. Termination is out of the question for us due to religion really and ethical beliefs.

I have the most awful morning sickenss from morning until night which doesnt make things any easier.

Your dh will get over how he is feeling my dh felt like that when we fell with our first child as it was totally out of the blue and we had only been together for 18months

I was 4 months pregnant with our unexpected baby - we had 2 ds already and believe me this baby seriously rocked our world - no way would dh contemplate not having the baby and we didnt have any tests because by the time i was booked in the baby was too much of a 'baby' to even think about things going wrong.

If ever there was a wrong time for a baby this truly was it - wed just got a beautiful 2 bedroomed home I was starting work in the school in the village our ds attended wed just booked our first proper holiday......

well 8 years later ds3 is wonderful and the best mistake ive ever made and if wed waited until the time was right we would never have had him.

Poor you, cba, I'm lucky in that I just get a bit queasy especially in the afternoons, and that metallic taste in the mouth, nothing else in the sickness department.
Nickschick this is what I am hoping too... We have just booked a summer holiday in Croatia (we live in Poland) but we are not going to pass it up because doubtless next year it will probably be camping in next-door's field for lack of cash!!

I too fell pregnant on the pill whilst on antibiotics.
We had just moved, my first born was only 10 months old, I had started a new job and my husband was away for 3 months.
It was a hard time but I booked in for an abortion and I was 15wks. It was hard trying to make this decision with my husband over the phone.
The day before, I changed my mind, realised we could cope and by the time she was born we had both done a full circle and were looking forward to her arrival. 6 years later I have no regrets!
People cope, children adapt but i fully support whatever decision you make, only you can make it x

I fell pregnant with dd3 despite being on the Pill. We had had our first two close together and both were under 4 and dh had made it very clear that he did not want any more and although he didn't ask me to terminate he was very disengaged from the whole pregnancy, was not at the delivery....and fell in love the first time he held her . She has complicated our lives, set me back careerwise, all the rest of it but I wouldn't have it any other way.