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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Annoyed because everyone wants me to have a girl

41 replies

ChocFudgeCake · 16/02/2009 22:26

I have 2 boys and when people know I am pregnant they insist that I have to have a girl or they say "Surely you want a girl, don't you?". After having 2 m/c I honestly am more focused in keeping the baby than on the sex. Of course I would like the experience of having a girl, but not that I'd be sad if it was a boy: I'm thrilled I'm still pregnant! Even my mum keeps telling me that she knows it's a girl and tries to talk me into it as if I had anything to do with the outcome. I started telling people "All right, if it's a boy I'll send him back". But I think something stronger is required, any suggestions? Something better I can say or a better way to deal with it?

OP posts:

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naturalblonde · 17/02/2009 12:30

I have 2 dds. When I was pregnant with dd2 I got the whole ' I expect you're hoping it's a boy',

I always said, no, because I just wouldn't know what to do with a boy, and besides my house is full of girls clothes and toys.

If I have DC3, then I'll tell everyone the same.

When mt gran found out dd2 was a girl, instead of congratulations, she said ' I bet your dh is upset cos he wanted a boy' (He didn't care either wa), and then she went roud telling everyone my dh was disappointed

thumbwitch · 17/02/2009 13:15

pmsl fruitstick!

I am torn between wanting a second DS (already have all the lovely clothes for a DS) and having a DD so that she can enjoy the things I did as a child (fairies and witches and suchlike) - although DS will probably quite like those things, he is likely to be taken over by his Dad and become sports-mad so a girly might be more "for me" - at least that's what DH keeps saying.

As I am not even pg yet, the whole thing is academic and I have come to the conclusion that just having a second baby would be a precious enough gift and I really have no preference as to gender.

Original poster

ChocFudgeCake · 17/02/2009 23:01

mersmam, you're right, normally people don't try to be rude, they just point out that I must be wishing that it's a girl, and I'm not rude when I tell them that I'm happy with a healthy baby. But normally they don't say "ahh, good" and leave it there; they really insist and try to convince me that it has to be a girl, blah, blah.
I have also been told, like sweetkitty, by more than one person the theory that I may not be able to carry girls, that's why my first baby girl died and I had the other 2 m/c. Sometimes people really need to be stopped before they go on with their stupidity.

Ohhh, I know what I need!! I need a maternity t-shirt with the slogan on the belly:
"Boy or girl, I'm welcomed!"
And when in 3 weeks I have the scan and know the sex, if it's a boy I can have a new slogan:
"It's a boy and we are thrilled!"

OP posts:

JLo2 · 18/02/2009 13:09

Oh my god I can definitely relate to this. I have 3 lovely DS's and am now pregnant with number 4. I had a scan last week which showed (very clearly) that it is another DS. We are obviously delighted and have decided not to tell anyone that we know it's a DS just so we can secretly laugh at them hoping for a girl As far as we're concerned our house is very boyish so another boy will fit in beautifully rather than possibly upset the balance. I don't like shopping so am happy to go by myself and think of all the pink I've avoided A lucky escape if you ask me

I'm now going to start practising my replies for the disappointment from other people when he's born

hayleybootes · 19/02/2009 21:09

Yes people are extremely stupid, lol! I am 20 weeks, got my scan on monday and I alredy have a girl and people always say 'I bet you're hoping for a boy' or 'It would be nice for Gary to have a boy' as if men only like having boys and I always say 'Actually if it is a boy, I think I might sell him on e-bay' that usually shuts them up. I don't mind either way and would love my little girl to have a sister, as I always wanted a sister and never got one so either way we'll be extremely pleased. Of course most people have a preference but to get pregnant just to try for a certain sex is silly, you should be happy with a lovely happy healthy baby, no matter what colour clothes they will have to wear.

Hawkmoth · 19/02/2009 21:17

I thought I would find out, and tell people and they would all be happy. Reading this made me a bit wary of that (I have 1DD and DP has 2 DDs). DP of course didn't get it at all, and was all funny when I said I didn't want to tell people even if we did find out.

Then tonight at my mum was over and I said I felt like it was a girl. To which she helpfully said, "Preparing yourself for the worst then?".

Oh I could cry.

lockets · 19/02/2009 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Chrysanthamum · 19/02/2009 22:23

Yes it's a pain I've 2 boys and am pg again. I just hope it all works out. I really do not mind what I have but noone believes me. Its sooo annoying!!!

Wisknit · 20/02/2009 08:33

Personal bugbear of mine. I have never really wanted girls(*disclaimer - will love whatever the slimey little bundle handed to me is). 2 ds so far and 5 days over with dc 3.
I got quite reactionary about it: people would say - obviously you want/were trying for a girl. My reaction got to being 'good god no! Can't think of anything worse than a girl'. But it really annoys me. Almost makes DS2, the loviest boiy imaginable, sound like a disappointment.

brettgirl2 · 20/02/2009 12:51

Oh don't get me started - don't you ladies know that about the modern rule that says that everyone must have two children, one boy and one girl? I mean where have you been?

heartmoonshadow · 20/02/2009 12:59

Hi,

I am a first timer and people keep asking me what I want I just say a baby. But I did read a book (I know I know don't do it) where the author did a diary of her pregnancy and the joke she used when people asked what she wanted was to say - 'A giraffe because they are up and around in 1hr and can fend pretty much for themselves from day 1!' This is paraphrased but it made me smile. Although I did think giving birth would have been horrendous

jellybeans · 20/02/2009 13:02

Hi I had 2 DD and then found out we were having DD3. Was over moon as loved having girls, didn't really 'know what to do' with boys. Anyway, on the scan at 20 wks we also found out DD was very poorly and may not live. We told MIL and when hearing it was another DD, MIL said 'poor daddy,' in a serious voice. Never mind the fact we just wanted our baby to live, gender is insignificant in that case! We sadly lost DD at 23wks and went on to have twin DSs. People said 'ah DH has his boy now, how great a boy,' as if DD never mattered. We then sadly lost another girl at 20 wks and now have a DS, 3 months. I love boys they are fab. I just am so grateful for having live children. If I come accross someone who has 2 boys or girls and is pg with the same sex, I make a point of saying something positive to them. There is nothing negative about a live baby of any gender! I can vouch that my boys and girls have brought me equal joy, I even love shopping for boys clothes too!

Original poster

ChocFudgeCake · 20/02/2009 23:05

I'm sorry you've been through all this pain, Jellybeans. I would like to meet someone like you who told me "ah, how nice, you might have another boy!" Even my sister today on the phone kept refering to the baby as a "she" and wished for a girl, still I didn't manage to be firm, I just sweetly said I was happy with whatever.

OP posts:

Rollmops · 21/02/2009 08:48

Morons. The lot of them. Can't people get their coconuts around the fact that a healthy baby is the objective of this exercise!
Then again, BK (before kids), I was adamant that I only ever wanted to have a boy and was sadly quite vocal about it, moron I certainly was...

SheWillBeLoved · 21/02/2009 08:50

My mum and sister have both insisted that they want a girl as there are too many boys. My other sister has insited she wants a boy, and that if it's a girl, she'll happily babysit up until it's 6 months and is in frilly baby girl clothes, then I can have it back.

All have been told that it shouldn't matter, after me losing the last one, as long as it comes out breathing, I couldn't give a fark what bits do or don't dangle between it's legs.

mum2b09 · 21/02/2009 16:18

my friends mum has got 7 girls and a boy which was her first baby she has just given birth to another boy after having 7 girls in a row and people kept saying oh i bet your hoping its a boy this time and she got that all the way through her pregnancy (yes she does have 9 children none of these are twins or triplets!! good job they have a huge house i dont know how she copes)Just focus on your pregnancy and not on wat other people want you 2 have hun good luck xx

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