NCT Antenatal classes a must?

[linlee]

I desperately need some advice re nct antenatal classes.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and unfortunately didn't realise earlier that we should have applied for the classes early. We have however been allocated a place on a course (although only a couple of weeks before my due date) but to my horror discovered the price is £280!. Just imagine all the cute baby stuff i could buy instead. I have also heard some embarrassing stories about how "hippyish" the classes can be and i'm scared my partner will absolutely hate it...

So i'm a bit put off at the moment and not sure what to do. I know it's a great way to meet others in the same situation and of course would like to, but also been told that it's the post natal tea groups that are much more important when it comes to making friends.

Am i absolutely mad thinking we might not need to do the classes or has anyone done them and felt it was a bit of a waste of time and money..? Grateful for any advice!

(i'm in north london)

I desperately need some advice re nct antenatal classes.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and unfortunately didn't realise earlier that we should have applied for the classes early. We have however been allocated a place on a course (although only a couple of weeks before my due date) but to my horror discovered the price is £280!. Just imagine all the cute baby stuff i could buy instead. I have also heard some embarrassing stories about how "hippyish" the classes can be and i'm scared my partner will absolutely hate it...

So i'm a bit put off at the moment and not sure what to do. I know it's a great way to meet others in the same situation and of course would like to, but also been told that it's the post natal tea groups that are much more important when it comes to making friends.

Am i absolutely mad thinking we might not need to do the classes or has anyone done them and felt it was a bit of a waste of time and money..? Grateful for any advice!

(i'm in north london)

Had a friend who went to them and felt "empowered" to give birth completely naturally without any pain relief or assistance.

She was so positive about the classes that I considered them instead of the nhs class.

She ended up with an epidural and felt she had failed and let herself down.

I didn't go for them in the end, but the nhs class was a complete waste of time too.

Well, my NCT class (also a last minute crammer job) had the loveliest bunch of women I have ever come across, and we are still in touch every few days and meet up every couple of weeks (3.5 years on). They made SUCH a difference to my maternity leave, I can't tell you.

But I was lucky: other friends didn't gel so well with the women they met at NCT.

As for the education aspect: it depends who you get. My NCT tutor was completely brilliant. Yes, all the breathing and squatting stuff turned out to be a waste of time for our group (8 out of 10 emergency CS!) but it was really informative (and non-judgemental) about epidurals etc.

I'm really glad I went. But you might be so lucky, you might not. You're right that there is always the postnatal meetings if you decide money is too tight right now.

I wasted money on mine. the teacher was not very assertive and i felt the 'activities' were a little childish at times. i didnt feel that i learnt anything i hadn't/couldnt have read/ watched. I felt very much that they were coming from a particular angle ( i prefer a more unbiased approach myself) which wasnt for me. and incidentally, they didnt talk about things that might go wrong, which they did for me.

However... several of my friends went and they suited them.
I agree that it is the post natal meetings that help. I only see one of the women i met on ours.

PS - my dh found himself 'working late' a few times, and i didnt blame him! Really not up his street at all!

i had a great nct class! helped a lot during childbirth and i made really good friends with my class.

3 years on we're still going strong, meeting for coffee etc.

well worth every penny, because that support is invaluable.

What warthog said. Its worth every penny for the support network and friendships that result from it.

I didn't do the NCT ones, but the hospitals ante-natal classes and met some lovely people. I'm not sure it matters who you do it with, but I would recommend doing them simply because after you've had the baby you'll have friends at exactly the same stage as you to bond/compare/share with.

We met for lunch every week for the first year or so, and it was lovely.

i went to a one off nct "crammer" as all the courses full (we were in process of moving house). it was pretty good, knitted uterus aside. then joined my new local nct and yes, the coffee mornings were great at first with a newborn.

investigate what might be on offer via the nhs. i went on a 6 week monday evening course, run by local community midwives, it was FANTASTIC, and made friend there who i still meet up with each week nearly 5 years later. and it was free. also pregnancy yoga, very helpful for the birth.

linlee, i made more and longer lasting friends from the local aqua natal class i went to - also worth a thought?

We got on really well with our group and are still in touch (although not so regularly once most of the girls had gone back to work). My DH didn't say much about the usefullness of it at the time but when a friend of ours was pg he said 'tell them to go to NCT classes. It was really good'! But I think whatever birth preparation classes you can find would do that without the shocking cost

Our hospital 'birth' classes however are just one session and I felt I needed a bit more than that and felt prepared from the NCT classes, however when the time came labour terrified me cause it wasn't anything like they said!

I would say try and find an NHS class or read up as much as you can too prepare yourself but that meeting other new mums at the NCT coffee mornings or whatever they run in your area (ours was a monthly get together in Starbucks, but people started going every week!) is just as good as long as you will make yourself go and make friends.

Our class wasn't at all hippyish. I think they tend to be needs led and all our group had a similar outlook ('tell us all about the drugs - never mind with your clary sage and lavender!!') so I think that depends on what the others in your class are like.

Anyway I think what I'm saying is that if you have the money to throw at it, then it might be useful, but given that you might miss some of the course if your baby's early and might not happen to get on with the others I perhaps wouldn't bother.

NCT classes are great, but absolutely NOT a necessity. You can find alternative private antenatal classes, yoga classes, active birth classes, hypnobirthing classes or NHS classes. Or you can just read your pregnancy/birth guides and then attend postnatal groups to make friends once your baby arrives - exactly the same affect, I'd say.

I did some of the training to be an NCT antenatal teacher ) dropped out when I got pregnant again!) and I would say they are as good as the teacher who hosts them. There are some fabulous ones and some not so great ones. I would also say my main criticism of the NCT is that they do tend to skirt over issues concerning difficult or traumatic births, particularly c-section.

If you genuinely can't afford it I recall our branch had a policy of pay what you can.

It is the coffee mornings after that are useful, but I think knowing people beforehand and going through the last stages of pregnancy ( all getting very cross being so overdue) as a group make the get togethers afterwards more enjoyable/ bearable!

They are definitely not a necessity, we did them as it seemed to be the done thing. Advice from friends with children seemed to be that the first person you ring once you get the positive wee stick was the nct co-ordinator to get in a class. My Dh hated the classes and thought they were a waste of time, I found some of it useful, but it did take a long time to deliver not that much information. I'm not sure it was hippyish as much as rose tinted. In mine there was no hint that an epidural makes you a failure.

The main benefit has been the social side, I don't know many people where I live and it's been great for meeting people in the same situation as us. DH is now 5 weeks and we are now setting up weekly meets in the local costa. For me is was worth it to "buy friends" but it is a lot of money and there are alternatives.

Many thanks for all replies. Seeing the midwife tomorrow and will check what the alternatives are to the nct classes before making up our mind. Feeling more confident already - thank you. Any more thoughts of course welcome!

I second hester, warthog and lobsters.
I did NCT and NHS classes!

You won't learn anything that you can't get out of a book, midwife or NHS class but
1 - You will be able to discuss everything in an open forum, with guidance to the pros and cons, regardless of the hospital agenda/policy etc.

2 - You will make friends with people who will have children the same age as you. My DS is 5 months old now, and believe me, in the early months of having a new baby all the friends and activities you did before hand, come a distant second to what you can do with babies and new parents.

Apart from the social side, the "role play" c Section was the most usefull thing to me. I ended up with a much dreaded and much unwanted emergency CS, but at least I knew what was going on and why, and what the 10 medical personel were all doing there!

After the babies were born, we too kept Costa in business, but now go round to each others houses mostly, but see each other about once a week.

I didn't feel that the classes were at all hippyish or rose tinted! - Quite the opposite, I found them sensible,informative and reassuring. And actually quiet good fun. DH came to them all aswell, and keeps in touch with the Dads. They have been out drinking a few times, to the football, for meals. And we have started babysitting for each other too.

I also did the "Early Days" classes. The group of 5 was made up of 5 of the 8 of the antenatal classes, so we bonded ever more. I also found these classes very valuable. They are not so much about the "mechanics" of looking after a baby (we'd kind of worked that one out by then), but about how it affected us, what being a mum meant, parenting styles, sleeping (mums and babies)and a good session on weaning.

But then, in this area the didn't cost £280!

That's really expensive, ours were £180 to include a years NCT membership.

The best thing I got out of the classes were 5 great friends.

If you decide not to do the classes, I'd advise you to still join the NCT, so you can get in early to their nearly new sales (and probably save yourself £280 on baby stuff!!), and also make sure you go to loads of local baby groups and be really friendly to any mums you like the look of - invite them for coffee etc. You'll probably be off work for at least a few months and your group of friends at this time will be invaluable. You need other new mums to keep you sane after sleepless nights, and they're the only other people happy to talk about nipples and poo!!

Haven't read the whole thread but just want to say you can read all about natural childbirth and get empowered from a few books from Amazon.

I never did NCT classes but I read these books

The Official Lamaze Guide: Giving Birth with Confidence

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin

Plus a Hypnobirthing book and Natal hypnotherapy CD (which I didn't really use during labour)

There are other good natural childbirth books. Get a good book on BFing as well if you plan to BF. Go to your NHS antenatal class if you can.

I had a wonderful labour - with twins! And those books definitely helped.

I did NCT & NHS classes. NCT ones were good because they were in the evening so DH could go too.

However you are right £280 is a heck of a lot of money. TBH from what I remember the classes focused very extensively on the birth, which of course is important but unless you are highly unlucky is only go to last for about 12 hours of your life and then we spent a bit of time on nappies and breast feeding.

It was nice to have the info but if ours had cost £280 I probably would have passed.

As Cuppatea says, joining the NCT is a great idea. Our area had a coffee morning for new mums in the area with babies born roughly the same time. But actually I had most contact with a group of Mums from our local doctors group as all live locally and babies born around the same time.

Good luck whatever you decide.

wanted to add, if you decide to also attend nhs classes, would recommend going to the evening sessions if possible.

These tend to be run over several weeks, we had to go to the one day, "intensive course" and did not get to know anyone in that time.

Ended up joining in with a friends antenatal group, who met up every week before and after the babies were born, met up with them on a regular basis until I moved area.

I met some lovely women at my NHS antenatal class too. £280 is a lot just to meet other mums who have babies the same age as you.

No NHS classes in my area, so NCT or nothing. Our tutor was excellent and went into detail about what to expect with a caesarian, ways to cope with crying and sleep dep over the 12 weeks after birth, etc. And made 5 friends over the 6 weeks. So £260 well spent IMO, given I spent under £50 on any other baby stuff!

Helped that all 6 of us planned hospital births, preferrably low-intervention, wanted to bf, etc. I found the hands-on stuff more useful than books (and I read loads).

SIL2 also found them useful but SIL3 felt her tutor was way too hippyish and trying to 'pressure' people into homebirth and bf - but as SIL3 went private to get an elective cs on her due date and didn't want to bf, this may not be a totally objective view...

£280 seems like an awful lot of money

We are paying £135 for ours (we chose not to take out the year's membership) - this is for 10 classes of two hours each.

linlee

the course formats differ from area to area but there is often a shorter form (usually called intensive) which is about £185 excluding membership.

I didn't go to any classes before dd's birth (she was prem) and felt very lonely and excluded once she came home, so would second all that others have said re the friendship angle, particularly if you live in an area of London where you don't know many people locally. Do check out the local NHS options - where I live (SE London) they seem to be the first thing that gets cut whenever the PCT is short of money and content wise I don't think they are great.

I am doing classes this time (31 weeks with dc2) mostly because I want a VBAC and don't think dp is nearly as well informed as he needs to be.