Telling work tomorrow I'm pregnant, really nervous. Any tips?

[Rozebud]

Well that's it really.

It's complicated by the fact that I was promoted 2 months' ago and pushed hard for that (although I didn't know I was pregnant then, but knew it could be on the horizon if I were lucky enough to get pregnant).

Secondly, the team was re-structured earlier this year, me knowing I was pregnant, and I've taken on a load more responsibilities. It was before my 12 weeks scan so didn't want to tell them then though.

I am 33 years old, it's my first pregnancy, have been in this job nearly 2 years but I still feel guilty and like I am doing wrong and also that everyone is going to be angry with me. I know I mustn't apologise and must hold my head up high...

Please tell me how you did it - what words, tone etc.

Thanks

Oh, also, when do you negotiate going back part-time? I definitely am going back to work think I'll want less than 5 days a week, but do I wait til I am on maternity leave to negotiate this rather than hit them with it now?

I just came out with it. I'd just got a job that I couldn't do while I was pg (very physically demanding, potential to be sent to dangerous places) so I had to tell them before my 12 week scan. They were amazingly good, put back my job until April this year (which they really didn't have to do, it was a training attachment, given to me because I'd whinged endlessly about needing it)

I didn't make any decisions about what I was going to do workwise until after ds was born. You never know what kind of baby you're going to have. I was fortunate in that ds is a dream, sleeps and feeds brilliantly, so returning to work full time to crazy, permenantly changing, long shifts while still breastfeeding was made much easier by ds being the easiest baby on earth.

Good luck!

What's your relationship with your boss like? Her's my experiences:
First preg, been in job 5 years, asked to have a meeting with boss and came straight out with it. Negotiated part time return while on maternity leave, but boss had asked before that if I was going to ask for P/T and I said probably.
Second preg: been on job 3 months (eek) again asked for a meeting and came straight out with it, but went in better prepared to say how I was going to meet my commitments before the baby arrvied, finish projects, train up staff etc. Work P/T now anyway so negotiating that not an issue.
Good luck, it is nerve wracking, but you are doing some thing quite normal and your workplace should be able to cope!

Yes, just organise a meeting, a be completely honest with them.

You sound almost apologetic in your OP.... don't let that come across

ooh yes, secong HeadFairy - wait till you're a bit used to the baby before you think about whether/how much/when you'll return to work.

You don't have to tell them any decisions about going back until after baby is here, prob be nice to say your def returning but you don't have to
good luck
congrats btw

You don't have to tell them until 15 weeks before your due date so you've got a while before you have to tell but it is probably a good idea to have a think before you tell them about when you're planning on going on leave, when you're thinking of coming back etc. You don't have to commit to anything but it shows willing if you look like you've thought about it a bit I reckon

Just be straight with them - and don't apologise no matter how much you feel like you ought to!

Don't say anything about what you want to do after mat leave - that is 18 months off (assuming you take a year) and things can change. You may feel differently/circs might change between now and then.

Good luck

tell them you're pregnant straight off and keep them informed

as for telling them about coming back part time, leave that until nearer the end of your matty leave when going back is imminent

BTW IIRC it's illegal for them to ask when you're coming back and if it will be full-time at this stage...

Thanks all, that's really helped straighten my head out a bit and know where I stand.

It goes without saying that I'm really thrilled and excited about the baby but telling work just feels a bit of a hurdle. Will be nice when it is done ... Thank you again for your wise words.

tumtum's right. When I started my mat leave HR sent me a letter saying my mat leave was until 15th August 2008 (the full year) but if I wanted to return earlier I would need to give them 4 weeks notice. The assumption should be that you're off for the whole of your mat leave.

As others have said be straightforward about it and don't apologise...I'm sure it will be OK. I remember being very nervous about telling my boss about my first pregnancy but it went much better than I expected. I also got much more support through pregnancy and RTW than I expected too. Hope it goes well for you too.

I was in a simiar position: wanted to go for promotion, started tying, then went for promotion when I'd just found out. Still felt like superwoman, so went for a further (but not too heavy) position of responsibility - but pulled out when ms got bad.

Felt guilty for getting promoted w/out telling them - but it was before 12 weeks. That is your absolute right - you shouldn't feel guilty!

Hi Rozebud, good luck. I'm telling my work tomorrow as well. I'm 14 weeks and this is my 3rd pregnancy. I'm on a temp contract and so I don't think I get mat leave and so in effect I'll be leaving. I'm really nervous too. They will have no idea or suspicion. I just hate that 'drop the bombshell' moment. Been there twice before (in a different job) and it gets no less nerve wracking! I guess we shouldn't presume what people's reactions will be, it will be better than we think I'm sure.

My boss was really relieved when I told him - I'd looked so shit for the past few weeks (and been acting so strangely) I think he thought I was seriously ill! Being a bloke, I don't think pregnancy ever crossed his mind!

ah bless him, glad it went well for you