running a business and pregnancy

[June2009]

Hiya,

My first baby is due in june and I'm trying to work out whether I will be able to work, how much and how long for.
Dh and I run a computer networks related business and I work from home and mainly do customer service/accounts/sales, dh is usually either here working on computers or out working "on site".

The plan was to do what I could and let my accountant do the rest, she was very helpful and worked 2 days a week doing credit control, paye, book keeping, vat returns and preparing end of year accounts, and would have been able to do more hours to help.

Unfotunately she has now quit so I have to do most of this work now as well until we find another accountant, hopefully soon enough that a good routine will be established by then.

I'm (was?) planning on breastfeeding.

I'd like to hear realistically how much work if at all I can take on after the birth. (assuming I can work full time until then.)

I've been told by my auntie-in-law that she certainly never stopped working even with 4 boys, in a tone of voice that insinuated that our generation needs to toughen up and that I should be ashamed of trying to get off work.

p.s., You may as well have the 6 weeks maternity, even if you do work as and when, as you get the 90% paid by the government.

Hiya,

Was due on Sunday but still no baby here (and grateful for the extra time!).

The new accountant has indeed been very helpful. We found out the old one made a lot of mistake which this one has put right in our favour. I'm glad all of this happened back in January, even if there is still work to be done to be completely up to date(mainly with credit control) with the new book keeper.

The accountants have been working on our end of year accounts (practically done, due end of this month as well for both companies) and the book keeper has helped me keep on top of things as much as possible (ie: paying suppliers on time!).

Maternity pay not sorted yet as it's not been a priority up until now.
I'm counting on the summer being "quiet" to help me through the first few months with a newborn.

I'm more positive about having to carry on working, it seems less daunting now (and let's face it... not got much choice anyway.)
I might be pulling my hair out in a couple of weeks time!
I'll try and check this thread again and update for you once lo is finally here

hey

So baby is 7 days old, had a c-section last thursday night and I've managed to catch up with a few emails from work from day 5.
Our little girl sleeps quite a lot though which probably helps.
I'm very tired, from the long labour and emergency c-section, and slept pretty much all day today. DH is also working from home and helping out a lot with the baby, we've had to bottle feed which probbly helps in that respect.
I think I will probably manage to do a bit more next week.

Congratulations!

Hope you and your DD are recovering well?

I'm in a similar position to you so have read your thread with interest.

Good luck with it all.

Congratulations.

We were in the same boat this time last year, had c section and then home and we reopened our B&B when he was 8 days old so was cooking breakfast from then and ironing as could sit down and do that one and bookwork. Realisticaly got 2 weeks break when we went on holiday in November.

Congratulations June2009! Hope you and your PFB are doing well?

I am not due till September and am having a similar scenario to you with accountants and chasing people for money!

Please keep coming back to the thread and telling us how you are coping with your baby/work balance...it will be very helpful if you don't mind!

Take care of yourselves!

Ali x

Hey, so, a month on and just about coping.

Things that help:

• dh also works from home.
• I'm not breastfeeding (didn't work out for me, long story) so we bottle feed in turns with dh, every 4 hours.
• sil has been coming two or three times a week to do a feed & change around 6pm enabling me to catch up on some sleep.
• Get a Bloom chair (loft or fresco) if you can, they're expensive but baby doesn't always want to be held and like spneding time just watching the world go by and I found out mine wakes up the minute I put her her basket.
• get a cleaner? someone who can come a couple of times a week to do basic/essentials.
• freeze some prepared meals

Things that have not worked out:

• The baba sling, baby doesn't like it, we probably need more practice with it though.

I've not been able to do a lot of work mainly because babies take a lot of attention :D but also because I've been knackered and needed the spare time I got to rest and recover.
I still manage to keep on top of emails pretty much everyday and had a one afternoon major catch up at the end of the month when sil was here.
It is a big effort though, I do envy the mums who don't have to work and spend all their time with their newborn. But this is how it is and it's all worth it. (paid for the bloom chairs for a start ;)

I think now I'm off the painkillers and antibiotics though I should be able to get more done as I won't be as tired (fingers crossed).

Good luck with the people about to give birth :D I'll come back and update again later.

2 months on on and we're much more organised, baby sleeps through the night wich is great and sometimes will go back to sleep after the morning feed.
I can do some work early in the morning, usually too tired in the evening.
and I manage a couple of hours during naptime in the afternoon, NOT everyday.

I do not need as much sleep as i did when i was still recovering from giving birth and I feel generally much much better and more energetic.
Dh has been home less but it's still manageable.
Work is definitely not full time.

It feels VERY hectic at times, deadlines are a bugger 7 stressfull.

Im looking into sitters.co.uk as it would be nice to have a set day where a couple of hours is set aside for me to catch up with work.
The hard bit is to trust anyone with my child and deep down I do not want to work, I want to look after my baby.

Acutally I'd say if you enjoy what you are doing then it's fine, you'll fit it in but for things that you do not like (vat returns, chasing people for money) then it's definitely very hard.
I'm have to ask my bookkeeper to do more of that stuff as I just can't.
customers take the mick as they can tell I'm not full time or as focussed and are giving me the runaround.

It's not stopped us from doing anything fun with the baby, we go out in the pram almost everyday, I meet once a week with other mums, I go to baby massage and take the baby to the baby clinic every 2 weeks where I also meet other mums.
We also have time to cook almost every day.

I think honestly that we are very lucky with our baby as she is chilled out.
A friend of mine has a baby who cries a lot and will not sleep, sometimes up for 12 hours at a time! I don't think i could manage work with a baby like that.
and honestly I don't think there is any way I could do eat if I was still breastfeeding?

Although we've had our moments where I really wondered how I would manage, overall it's nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be.
And Work, which was supposed to be quiet this summer has been very busy!

Most definitely hardwork, both physically and mentally but absolutely do-able.

riight, so, updating this again.
4 months on and I find myself working from 6am to around 8 or 9 when dd wakes up for a feed.
Then if i'm lucky she will sleep around 1:30 to 12 (except that at the moment she is teething so not sleeping very much at all.)

The afternoons are 100% with baby, we go to baby rhyme time, or meet up with other mums, or go to the weigh in clinic etc.
Evening I usually collapse around 10pm on the sofa!

I'm struggling to keep it up if I'm completely honest.

I started the pill 3 months ago and it's making me moody/getting me down, add to that the lack of sleep because of the teething and it's making it really hard to stay focussed.
When I sleep better everything is fine again!

how are you guys doing?

It sounds incredibly hectic but you sound like you are doing an amazing job.

I have friends in the same situation as you are and they find it tough and need all the help they can get, such as cleaners etc.

I really want to BF too but worry about that although my situation is slightly different to yours.

Hi
Can I join in on this thread? My god how nice it is to meet other people in the same situation and coping! Well done you guys and congratulations on the birth of your baby.

My husband and I run an IT company about 2 years ago I gave up my job to work full time in the business, it sounds like I have the smae sort of role as you June09 - accounts, admin, sales and so on. Then since having my daughter who is now 7 months I'm now working extremely part time and have been since she was 4.5 months, trying to work while she sleeps in the day time, and fitting work in around her clinic apps. play dates, sing song groups etc etc and I then catch up on work in the evenings. I get very sketchy help from my Mum and Mum in law but that arrangement is kinda tricky (whole other thread!).

I have to say though I take my hat off to you June09 working before your baby wakes and managing to work so soon after having had your baby. I don't think I could get my head around what the hell had happened to me (having a baby!!!) until DD was about 5 months old (I didn't cope very well in the beginning).

We had an accountant basically doing my accounts role in my absence but they've been rather s**t and over the last few months we've had real problems to sort out which has been very stressful as I haven't the time and nor does dh as hes always taken up with stuff on site or staff mangement stuff. Things have given a bit now as in the last month I've really had to throw myself at the accounts and try and sort out the probs which seem to be being sorted now, thank the lord.

But like you I've tried really hard to take DD to the groups, my NCT group and singing group and the clinic. Balancing all this is so hard I just have to remind myself constantly of the benefits we have compared to other Mum's and Dad's who are employee's of someone else. But you're right June09 it is do-able, it's like anything it has it's easy times and then it's really difficult times.

There is a massive part of me though that really resents having to do this as I really wanted to be a stay at home mum. I think if had I'd of been willing to wait another 2-5 years then that may have been possible but I didn't want to wait any longer to start a family so this is the way it has to be!

Then finding time for myself or for dh is impossible at the moment. But believe it or not I feel broody again and want another one. dh goes white when I say this

Lovely to find this thread.

hey dotty, really glad you fouhnd the thread and so happy that im not just talking to myself ;)
i'll try and do another roun d up of how its been going soon...

With regards to breastfeeding I think I'll want to try again with the next baby. I was given a lot of bad advice this time round.
We'll see how it goes. The bottle meant dh could give the baby a bottle and I could get some sleep, even then it took me a long time to recover from birth (6 weeks to feel "human" again and 3 months to feel closer to "normal", maybe because it was a c-section.

So 4 and half months on and some weeks it's hell and other weeks it absolutely fine.
Juggling is the key though I must admit I have compromised on personal hygiene as I don't manage to shower everyday and my hair only gets washed once a week (it doesn't get greasy quick I am lucky.)
I know I am not the only one as the other mums who I meet do not have clean hair either.

With work it really has its ups and downs, the accountant we found is all right, but not great, and he'd said he would do credit control and once we signed up said "oh sorry there's been a misunderstanding, we don't actually do credit control as such, just sort out complicated accounts". (which he hasn't done so far...)
so it's down to me and cashflow has been a bit of a nightmare, the three first month were all right as most people are on standing orders and that usually covers other bills but we've had price increases and other extra charges that took time for me to pass on (and suppliers have direct debit with us...) I also did not have time to check the invoices we received properly and mistakes were made. (people try it on).

So there comes a time when you really have to get your head down and have a couple of hours in one go to really catch up and get some money in the bank.
2 hours doesn't sound like much and yet it is HARD to find 2 uninterrupted hours in a row.
I've managed to keep on top of it somehow, but only just!
I do have a cleaner who does 6 hours a week (over 2 days) which helps.

right baby calling!

Latest update:
5 and a half months and I'm starting to think about next year.
I need to do more work and it would be really helpful to have someone to look after the baby a couple of afternoons a week, maybe 2 full days a week.

So far I've coped but it's been one big juggling act, really stressfull at times and all right other times ...pretty much the same as before pregnancy then!

Childcare is expensive, not sure what I'm going to do about that. In theory spending more time chasing people for money more thoroughly should pay for it! We'll see if that works out

I am still working in the morning before baby wakes up, during the day when she naps (but she really does not nap more than 30 to 40 minutes) and sometimes in the evening when dh comes back from work or if sil comes round (she only comes over when dh is here).
It's harder to work after food as cleaning the kitchen takes times and I'm pretty knackered by then.

It is easier now than it was earlier, mainly because I feel a lot better, more organised, easier to focus quickly. (getting used to it I guess).

Dh still reckons that if I had bf and needed to spend any extra time expressing etc we'd be bankrupt by now (since my job so far has been mainly credit control!)
Customers are still giving me the runaround because they know I'm not on the phone chasing them every day and the follow up to my threatening letters is not that great.
It was much better when I had someone to do this for me! dh is working on getting an automated system though which should sort this out.
So yeah, still extremely hardword, but still do-able. Also now at least other mums are talking about getting back to work next year so I don't feel so much on my own!

Hello June2009

Just wanted to say how useful I'm finding your thread, as I'm self-employed and 34 weeks pg- and wondering how much work I'm going to manage after the birth...

Not managing too much now at the moment TBH;- I wish I'd had a few more months to properly get the business going before I got pg, but the baby wasn't planned!

Let's see how it goes eh......Hope all's going well with the DD!

I'm expecting my first at beginning of next summer. I'm sort of self employed, and have yet to work out what terms of any maternity leave for me will be. I've been wondering how much work I can expect to get through in the early days so v pleased to find this thread.

June2009, hardly sounds like it's been a breeze at all but great you kept all the plates spinning and spent plenty of quality time with DD. You must be v well organised and disciplined. Thanks for the all the updates...

stubborn I found that whenever I was complaining that I was exhausted when I was pg, people would say "wait until the baby is here, it'll be worse" etc. That was not true for me, I found my pregnancy a lot more tiring than having a baby here.
Even though the baby was planned my trusted assistant/accountant/bookeeper left me in january and that was not planned It was a nightmare and very stressfull from then until the baby got here to get everything running properly again. Once the baby is here well we just coped with the situation.
it feels we are back on train now I think.

schipo good to know i'm not just talking to myself ;)
I was back to checking my emails and doing "emergency" stuff 5 days after birth.
I saw a woman the other day out and about 2 weeks after her lo was born, because she had a toddler as well. I think you just do what you have to do.

The beginning is tough and there have been days where I have thought "shit this is impossible what the hell was i thinking", mainly days when suppliers have taken their money by direct debit while I am still chasing customers for that money!!
I find my stress levels are directly linked to the cashflow.
Still, there has probably only been between 5 and 10 days like that, over 25 weeks, it's not bad.

something else i remember is I was also on micronor minipill for about a month and that made me really down and overwhelmed, borderline depressed which really didn't helped. I changed it and I feel a lot better now, so maybe be on the lookout for that as well.

I'm fairly organised, not extremely organised though, my desk is almost always a tip!
i think you do need to be organised though. I have a few things in my phone as an alarm so it comes up to remind me and i really try and and deal with things as soon as they come up otherwise they get left and build up and then it's a nightmare.

i'll keep udating then ;)

Hello June,
I just read your thread with interest as I am a self-employed journalist and ten weeks pregnant.
I have always had staff jobs so the timing is not great for me to be freelance as will only have maternity allowance etc..I have been freelance since August. I have been really working hard the last two months and earned decent salary but I have been so tired that I decided to take a lot of this month off. I have spent most of this time on the sofa or sleeping and not wanting to do anything at all!
I am hoping my energy levels get better in the second trimester so I can get my client list up before I take some time off for the baby. I'm trying to do this so can work more form home as at the moment I spend a lot of time in different newsrooms.
I read your thread saying you were exhausted in the first trimester also and didn't work much. Noone ever said to me how UTTERLY exhausting it is.
I am a very motivated and ambitious person but right now all I want to do is watch daytime telly and sleep!
I am hoping that financially I will be able to take some time off next year - baby due July. But it will also depend on my husband's job.
Oh well guess will just have to play it by ear.
Good luck with your business and glad you are enjoying time with your baby.

Hello, I've also been watching this thread with interest. Myself and my husband run an online lingerie company, and a separate online swimwear company. I am 5-6 weeks pregnant and morning sickness (or all day sickness) is creeping in. Baby is much wanted and planned for, but we picked our busiest 3 months for my first 3 months - with the run up to Christmas and then Valentines!

So its all a bit scary right now, and unknown. At the moment we have no staff, but we work in a large office/warehouse so there is room and facilities for them. I think this is a road we'll have to go down within 6 months as I dont fancy all the picking and packing on my own once I'm really pregnant. Plus I would like to at least take some time off after the baby is born, and someone needs to dispatch all the pretty under things to our customers

heya

I'm really glad this thread is useful to other people

We had a bit of a break from work during xmas, not much rest though as xmas dinner was here with ils, we had family over from France, then the baby's christening on 27th (party also round ours).
Not had the cleaner for a while (2-3 weeks) and it is starting to show!

I'm looking forward to 2010 and its challenges, not thought anymore about childcare but will need to look into it more seriously, she is so little still I don't want to let go!

2009 had its ups and downs - like every other year come to think of it.
It's definitely been more tiring and less self-centered!
I think if we did not have other issued like invasive ils and mil&fil's acrimonious divorce we would have been in a better place mentally as well and have more energy.

I'll update again once we've started work again, we'll see where we're at then.
It's going to be hard to get back to waking up early in the morning before the baby but I can't wait to get started.

Baby has been teething and been up several times at night which has made it difficult to keep the "early morning" routine.
Weaning takes more time than just bottle but I make big batches and freeze them so at least I'm not wasting any time.

New year resolutions:

• spend less time trying to make and drink tea, waste of time, you either have time to make it or drink it; ending up with lots of half made or cold cups of teas all over the house.
• I should also sort out some healthy snacks and meals as I have not lost my baby weight and I have much more energy when I don't have to carry all that fat around! It's much easier to have toast and butter than grate some carrot so beware.
• use my diary as my memory is definitely not as good as it used to be.

heya just popping in quickly to say that January has been absolutely manic but we managed to get our taxes done on time.

we've been looking a tnursries so i can get a couple of mornings a week free to get some work done.
a few hours in a row of uninterrupted work would make so much difference.

we're changing billing system so that a lot of the credit control will be automated.
it's taken a year to iron out (ie chase and get our money from) some of the current customers accounts. its still not finished and one customer has gone into administration owing us grands which would not have happenend if i had been able to be on their case more. (still, been chasing them up quite regularly since september).

once you get behind though its easier for people to make you send copies of old invoices, have to look through bank staements and paying in books to find payments they claim to have made etc.

I have close to no time for myslef even though I have a cleaner (mmm, she has not been coming regularly though (holiday, illness, relative's illness etc) which does not help)
dh has been not very much help with the baby if i'm honest and im not getting enough sleep.

still, it's working out ok i don't think i have another choice though iyswim, it would be too expensive to take somoene on, explain to them how everything works etc.

i've not really been able to get up at 5am anymore this year so far (bar a couple of times) so it's been harder to fit in work and the baby groups (and i don't think I've ever missed a baby group unless we were sick) etc but I've been working on setting up a routine for baby and she has had longer naps in the morning which is great. (an hour to a couple of hours).

ok gotta go...as i said...close to no time to myself!!

quick update 10 months on

baby's going to nursery 2 mornings a week (£92 a week) which allows me to do loads of work 5 hours in one go. It's made things a lot less of a "running around like a headless chicken" type of scenario, (though still a rush iyswim).

Days run roughly like this:

6am up and shower
6:30 baby wakes up
10 am baby nap for an hour - or two if i'm lucky - so I check emails/ have a cuppa (catch up on mn ;))
12 baby lunchtime
4:30 nap for half an hour
6pm baby dinner sometimes we eat at the same time
7:30 bath, massage (the baby, not me!)and last bottle and bed.

That is the ideal day and it happens a lot more since we introduced the bath routine in the evening about 3 weeks ago.

That routine varies a little bit on the time, dinner oculd be 5, or 6 or 7pm so then bath/bed time is later. if she eats at 5 we eat after she has gone to bed, if she eats at 6 or 7 we eat together.

housework and stuff I can usually manage the kitchen laundry dishwasher when baby is eating as she takes ages and likes to feed herself (so i dont need to hang around feeding her purees with a spoon)

So when dd is not at nursery I don't get very much done in the afternoon as she does not sleep very much.
I find that now I just do no longer try and do some work in the pm unless it is urgent as it makes it really stressfull if you are trying to get things done and baby needs all the attention (and she wins everytime ;)).

Sometimes I can put her to play in the office on the mat and she will happily entertain herself for 20 minutes.

The hard thing is that when she has a nap of an hour I have to very quickly get in the right frame of mind for work, no messing around making cups of tea etc.

We go for long walks to the park in the afternoon or go to a group or meet some friends, walking is a good exercise for me and baby loves the swings. I have not worked out a time to go to the gym yet (and i was one of the gym fanatics who go everyday pre-pregnancy. Dh says he will look after the baby if I go so I guess it's my own fault for not making the extra effort).

I must add that dh has taken on some of my work when needed and made things more automated for me (ie customers get an automated email when their invoice is overdue and get cut off automatically which is saving me hips of time.)

I rarely do work in the evening because I am so tired sometimes I fall asleep when we put the baby to bed...

right and also most of my "new mum" friends are also now - either already or soon - back to work so I don't feel so isolated with the craziness of it all.

It might sound all perfect and do-able the way I wrote it down and it is a lot better now than it was 3 months ago, but it's still stressfull to juggle everything (I think I feed off the adrenaline somehow).
I am tired and found that I run out of patience with ils some people a lot quicker than I did before. and keeping a social life is hardwork. I still go to a couple of baby groups per week and meet with other mums also about twice a week, have some people over for dinner once every two weeks. I look forward to these events and I think although hard work they make me/dh feel good and "normal" iyswim.
Last week we even had breakfast together in a caf' after we dropped her off to nursery, first meal we've had out together without the baby in 10 months.

dh is also ready for baby number 2, haha, I don't see how that's going to fit in my little schedule. (that's a whole other thread!).

Right time is up for now!

Well, a year on :D
I think I can stop updating this thread now!

Babe still goes to nursery two mornings a week, upping that to three mornings a week starting from August. I don't think I would manage without this nursery time.

I feel more "normal" as now all my pregnant friends are back to work and have to juggle that and child care.
It is a lot more manageable now that it was at the beginning. I was told this weekend that it gets harder again when they hit "2" (tantrums and god knows else! ;))

The nursery starts at 7:30 now which also allows me to go to the gym for half an hour twice a week in the morning. One evening a week dh puts baby to sleep on his own so I can go play badminton with a friend. I'd like to join another evening class at the gym.
I also want to sign dh up to baby swimming, that's on saturday mornings which lets him have daytime baby time and I can go to the gym then as well.

nursery days run roughly like this:

5:30/6am baby up
7:30 nursery (local 5 mns walk)
7:45 gym (local 5 mins drive)
8:30/9am work from home
1pm get dd back from nursery
2pm nap till 4pm where i can fit in some work
5:00/5:30 pm dinner for baby
6:30/7pm bed for baby
7 to 8 catching up on work with dh
8 to 9 badminton with dh
Dinner then bed, (maybe catch up on "Desperate Housewives" ;)) We hardly ever watch tv anymore.

nursery tends to knacker the baby more so she has a nap in the pm on that day and goes to bed early.

I still feel guilty about leaving her at nursery, there are ups and downs there as well.

--Non nursery days:--
It is a lot harder to fit in work around non-nursery days as I try and take dd to activities like baby signing, rhyme time, toddler groups etc and the big problem is that dd usually falls asleep in the car on the way back.
That would be the time I would have been able to fit work in (during her nap).
In that case I just work a little bit in the evening just after she has fallne asleep. I've not been able to work before baby gets up as that is around 5:30 am most days nowadays.

Before she was 8/9 months I could just unclip the maxi cosy with the baby sleeping and leave her to sleep in it in the house and get on with my work.

Now she is in the car seat one up from that so I have to take her out of it which wakes her up. I can take the whole seat out but it is bulky and has no grip or handles, plus it is not easy to get out & carry now that my baby is 20lbs. I have done it a few times though.

If she does manage a nap then it won't be for long and I've always found it hard to do work interrupted or start work when I have previously left it half way through. I do do it though, there are things that can be done quickly and only need half an hour.

Afternoons are usually baby based and I have to forget about work and just fit it in after she is in bed.
It is very frustrating trying to work and look after the baby when you have to type that email or make that phone call and the baby is having one of these days (teething for example) and will not be put down. She obviously wins everytime (!) and sometimes you end up letting people down.

random notes & tips:
We have had to be significantly more organised than ever with everything which has been a silver lining. We have more control over our time management and finances as a result.

I find that spending 15 minutes to a half hour tidying up my office on a sunday evening gives me a good headstart for monday morning.

I don't drink tea on work day, just glass or bottle of water (flavoured with orange juice) to keep me going, it's quicker to make and refill.

I usually make sure there is salad or something quick for lunch so I don't have to leave the house for the supermarket.

I mentionned before that I have a cleaner twice a week. I like that her work is split over two days, it helps me keep up with it and I do stuff as I go along in between and I don't have to worry about cleaning the bathrooms/toiler or ironing.

Dh does a lot more around the house than he used to (but he did NOTHING before).
It's not 50/50 but an awful lot better than pre-pg. (he takes the trash out for example, and will pick up the laundry from the tumble drier and take it upstairs.)

I feel like I need that third morning at nursery to be able to do both work and exercise. Exercise is important to me as I want more babies but put on loads of weight which I need to loose before we can start trying. Also at the moment everytime I want to go shopping for clothes or go to the beauty salon for a wax it has to be when the baby is at nursery, needless to say I've not been able to do very much of that! It is hard to try some clothes on with the pram on tow, the booths are too small.

Nursery is expensive though, £72 per day and around £35-40 per half day.

I manage a shower most days now ;)

Good luck to anyone who is working and looking after a baby, it is hardwork but possible. I find it very flexible compared to other mums who go out to work.

Any questions? ;)

thankyou june2009, this is actually been quite helpfull, i'm 22 weeks pg and am wondering how its all going to work around the baby (although a slightly diffrent situation as i'm a cake decorator and not based in an office) but it has given me lots of ideas and food for thought.

you should carry on writing all about it and publish it into a book. i'd buy it!

Thanks very much June2009. I don't know why I didn't see the update before. You sound like superwoman! But it's all really good to hear such positive rearrangement. Thanks