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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Home birth second time around - convince me it's a good idea!

20 replies

heavenlylily · 03/02/2009 20:57

Am 35 weeks pg with dc2. Dd is nearly 2. The thought of leaving her to go into hospital is horrid. My parents, who would be the people to come and look after her if I did go to hospital, are in Australia and not back until 4 days before due date, which I have doubts about reaching!! Although dd was delivered by forceps everything else seems in favour of staying at home. My mw doesn't think previous history of assisted delivery is a problem. The thing is is that the whole idea scares me a bit. Friends who I've spoken to think it's the best thing they ever did but I think it's the logistics of it all that I am unsure about. What room do you choose to give birth in? What if dd is around (middle of night or a day when she is not in nursery) - will she be traumatised by the whole thing or will she want to join in?! Dh can look after dd but I will want him with me! And aside from the obvious towels and sheets, what do you need?

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thisisyesterday · 03/02/2009 21:11

i had a ventouse delivery with ds1 but had a homebirth for ds2 and it was the best hing I could have done, it was fantastic. I can't rate it highly enough.

i had a pool downstairs, which i didn't actually deliver in, but stayed downstairs anyway. I gave birth leaning over the sofa.

i didn't have ds1 there, my mum took him, but I do know people who have kept their kids around. sometimes the children haven't been interested, sometimes they've wanted to watch... your dd won't be traumatised, she'll let whoever is watching her know if she wants to go out or anything.

I would say it's worth having someone else there though, because if she doesn't want to be in the room, and you want your dh with you then you'd be stuck.

sammysam · 03/02/2009 21:25

I'm watching this thread with great interest....very very early days with dc2 but if everything is ok i'd love to have a home birth after a ventouse with dd......thing is we don't have a lot of space...not quite worked that one out

thisisyesterday · 03/02/2009 21:28

you don'tneed much space!

Original poster

heavenlylily · 03/02/2009 21:35

Thanks for advice! Think we will probably end up going for it. If mum is back in time she can come and look after dd if needed but worried she will be forever putting her head around the door and saying 'ooh it sounds like you're in a lot of pain, don't you think you should go to hospital?'. She is not good in stressful situations, would have to tell her to go out!! Sammysam, will keep you posted if it does happen for us!

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sammysam · 03/02/2009 21:35

I want a birthing pool though-I certainly don't have room for one of those

nigglewiggle · 03/02/2009 21:40

I am slightly concerned that you are so anxious about it. I think that whatever choice you make, you should be comfortable with it. You shouldn't choose it just because friends recommend it.

Having said this, I had a homebirth for DD2 and it was a great experience! However I was really happy with the decision before the BIG day.

I would say that you need to consider your plans for your other child. My DD1 (2.3 at the time) was asleep in bed when my labour started, but as time went on she started to stir and my mum came to look after her. It was a BIG relief at the time because I remember being worried about her wandering in and being traumatised.

She is nearly 3 now and I think she would be a lot better about having a look and deciding for herself whether she would want to be a part of it. But she was def too young at the time. It depends on the child I guess.

Make sure you are as happy as possible with the choices you are making, because the more relaxed you can be, the better your birthing experience will be.

Original poster

heavenlylily · 03/02/2009 21:53

Thanks nigglewiggle. I am anxious, I don't think it's so much about the actual labour or being away from hospital ( I know it's just as safe as being in hospital, according to the research) I think it's more to do with lack of support. As I mentioned, parents are away until right up to due date and other family members are either far away or have family commitments of their own.Friends are either also tied up with their own families or not available all the time (understandably!). If it came to it dh would have to sort dd but this would mean me not having him near. The thing is, this is the exact situation I would be in if i were planning to go into hospital!! So this makes me think I may as well plan to stay at home...

OP posts:

nigglewiggle · 03/02/2009 22:13

Go for it then. Can you plan to give birth well away from DD? I chose the dining room as it has a wooden (easily cleaned) floor and is separate from the rest of the house. You are statistically more likely to labour overnight, so hopefully it will all work out and DD will sleep through it. If not, she could be deposited in front CBeebies at the crucial moment!

Best of luck to you all!

feetheart · 03/02/2009 22:14

My DD was 2.9 when DS was born so a bit older. She was upstairs in bed being read stories by her Auntie when DS arrived and DH went to get her within 5 minutes. She then went upstairs and slept through the night so no trauma there

I agree that you have to be comfortable about giving birth at home, I was SO adamant that I was staying at home that I wouldn't even pack a hospital bag! Even not having the use of a pool (I laboured in water with DD and loved it but no room at home) was fine. Having my own toilet and bath, eating omelette at 11pm at night when everyone had left us and stuggling into my own bed with Dh and our new baby was priceless. I can't rate it highly enough and now, even 3 years later, it brings a HUGE smile to my face

laumiere · 03/02/2009 23:04

Hi heavenly, I could have written this thread! Am 35w today with DS2, DS1 arrived at 31w (hospital) and is now 2.8. I thought I'd have to go to hospital for DS2, but he's showing no signs of going anywhere yet!

I've been wondering about a home birth in the last few days, as I don't want to leave DS1, my last labour was silent and only took 2 hours and I had no pain relief or tearing. We live 5 min by ambulance from the hospital so transfers would be no problem, and I love the thought of being somewhere private (I HATE being on hospital wards). Going to sound out the MW tomorrow, although I definitely don't want a water birth. Mum is coming to watch DS1 for us, luckily our bathroom is downstairs, so he can be upstairs til it's all done.

sweetkitty · 03/02/2009 23:13

I have had homebirths and would definitely recommend it.

First time DD1 was 18 months and slept through the whole thing, woke up in the morning and came and got into bed with me and her new sister.

Last time, DD1 was 4, DD2 2 1/2, DD2 slept through the whole thing, DD1 woke up just after DD3 was born and came into see her straight away. We did have SIL and a friend here too so that DP could focus on me, also if you do need to transfer to hospital for anything better to have someone else rather than your DH to look after your DD. The DDs had watched some Discovery Channel footage of babies being born and I had told them that Mummies have to make a lot of noise to help the baby come out and not to be frightened, also there's a lot of mess.

I had DD2 and 3 in our bedroom I like it, low lights like a little den just me and the gas and air, had fantastic MW last time, respected all my wishes was very hands off.

MWs bring most of what you need, I had some plastic sheeting and a Asda value fitted sheet for the bed which we binned afterwards, some old towels (about 8) and some maternity pads (2 packs), other than that have your normal hospital bag packed for a) just in case you need to transfer and b) you have everything in one place so DH isn't struggling to find babygros and hats.

You can have G&A and pethidine/morphine at home and ask for some nice painkillers for the afterpains too.

Jas · 03/02/2009 23:14

I was booked in for a homebirth for dd2, after an easy, no complications birth for dd1. Once I got to 38 weeks, the midwife delivered a box of all the stuff they might need, so I didn't have to get anything extra in.

In the end dd2 was born by crash cs, and my only concern now would be the time to transfer to hospital if a problem did arise. I was in hospital due to other reasons, so all was ok for us, but we live 20 mins by ambulance away from the hospital and that would have been too long for dd2 if I had been at home, so now I would only consider a homebirth if I was 5 mins away, rather than 20.

I had made no plans for dd1 to be looked after, and we actually left her with a neighbour for the time it took my close friend to cross London to take over.

foxytocin · 04/02/2009 05:23

the la bassine pool is small. most living rooms can fit one if willing to shunt the furniture to one side.

it was also the best thing i did with 2nd birth. i was on a high from it for at least a month.

sammysam · 04/02/2009 07:51

Heavenlylilly-Thanks-I'd love to hear how it goes

Foxytocin (love the name!) that is great to know-will look into that pool nearer the time

JollyPirate · 04/02/2009 07:58

heavenlylily - check out Angela Horn's Homebirth site - there's loads of info there about all types of delivery. It's here

Jackaroo · 04/02/2009 11:50

Can't see if anyone has said thsi already, but you will have 2 midwives, if I remember right, so does that make a difference to your thinking? Also, do you have any friends you are happy to have in the house - they don't have to be there watching you all, but just to have someone trusted in the house/providing a little distraction for DC1 might be helpful?

I'm so envious, I'm having an Elec.C-section this time, after a hideous time last time, and would love to have tried for a homebirth again.......

I'd agree that if you can work up an enthusiasm saying "if everything was organised, I'd love to have one", then you're on the right track.

Original poster

heavenlylily · 04/02/2009 12:43

Just wanted to say thanks to all who replied - some really good encouragement and advice there!! Went to bed at 10 as v tired (and thats late for me at the moment!) so didn't get chance to look on thread til now. Feeling more confident about it all if I can get the extra help in to look after dd if needed. Mw coming to see me next visit so sure she will me able to advise further. Thanks again

OP posts:

dan39 · 04/02/2009 13:02

Look at www.homebirth.org.uk too its very thorough tho very pro HB. I am planning one cos I think I will be more relaxed and am impressed by the statistics that sem to suggest less interventions. (first birth) However the key thing seems to be to be relaxed so if you are not convinced then don't do it! You can change your mind at any time and hop off to hosp - which you can't do the other way round!!

laumiere · 04/02/2009 13:37

Just had to share, saw MW today and she's perfectly happy for me to have a homebirth. I can't believe how happy I feel about it, I really do feel as if a weight has been lifted.

Even though DS1's arrival at 31w was fairly quick and painless, I've been classed as high-risk all through this pregnancy and had countless tests, scans and consultations, and haven't really been able to relax and enjoy expecting a baby. This has made me really sad, as DH and I agreed that all this stress would finish us off if we had any more kids, so this will definitely be my last pregnancy. Just being told that they're unfussed enough now that I can try giving birth at home is bliss!

Original poster

heavenlylily · 04/02/2009 13:50

That's great news laumiere, hope all goes well for you!!

dan39 and JollyPirate - thanks for great link. Don't think there is anything not covered on there!

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