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People keep telling me how big I am!

26 replies

Rkayne · 31/03/2003 11:45

I'm only 28 weeks pregnant and already getting comments on just how big I am. I'm very small to start with (5'0 and just under 8 stone pre-preg) so, yes, I'm carrying quite big. I did with my last pregnancy as well. But I'm really getting fed up with the number of people (both friends and perfect strangers) who have asked me in the last 2 weeks if I'm absolutely sure I'm not having twins (yes I'm sure!) and if I'm sure the baby isn't due much sooner than we think (I've had 4 scans so I'm pretty sure!). Not that I wouldn't like this baby to come early -I'd be thrilled if he were 2 or 3 weeks early. But does every person I see have to comment on it? It's getting quite depressing. Anyone else have this problem?

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gingernut · 31/03/2003 12:06

Hi, I'm the same size as you and looked very big when I was pregnant (I measured the right' size for my dates, so I suppose I had an average size bump on a very small frame). The comments drove me nuts! The upside was that everyone was astounded when I lost' the weight immediately afterwards . They all thought I had put on loads of weight myself, but it WAS all baby. So I had the last laugh.

Just ignore them. Hope the rest of the pregnancy goes well.

leese · 31/03/2003 19:26

Funny isn't it - whoever tells anyone "Gosh, you look just the right size.......?!!" No-one! It's either "Gosh you're big", or "Aren't you a bit small?" don't worry about it - what do they know? Your midwife will soon refer you for a scan if she is worried about the size of the baby.

Wills · 31/03/2003 20:14

Its frustrating because no one would dream of commenting prior to you being pregnant but the moment you are its open season on the comments. My dm spent the day saying how big I was until I finally asked did she think I was getting fat or something? No she replied I think you look fabulous and just right - why couldn't she say that in the first place?

The other thing is that complete strangers appear to want to touch my bump! I'm not happy about this.

SueW · 31/03/2003 21:32

Wills if you don't like them touching your bump, then when they have finished having a good grope, put your hands out and start stroking their stomach They'll probably get the message.

Wills · 31/03/2003 21:38

SueW - That's a brilliant idea now all I need is the courage to really do it! With my dd's pregnancy a little old lady stopped me in the street. I was so shocked I just stood there like a pratt!

snickers · 31/03/2003 22:01

I was glad to give up work 11 weeks before the baby was born, because I had had a daily discussion on how big I was getting from the moment I announced my pregnancy! I know it's because I was very skinny before and I'm sure everyone was just REAL pleased to see me fat at last ... Buggr'em'all I say.

The last straw was when I confided in a colleague about my desperate constipateion problem (weeks I tell you! Seriously!) and she said "Ah - so possibly most of that bump is probably a turd then" Thanks for that!

miriamw · 31/03/2003 22:08

It does get depressing after a while when people ask you - I kept meaning to tell people that I was in fact due a couple of weeks later than my due date to avoid the constant phone calls in the last week or two, but now I daren't as I've been getting the "you're so big" comments for the last couple of weeks. Doesn't help that the baby is in fact measuring a couple of weeks ahead of dates. Ds1 was 9lb 3oz, and I'm another 5'0 mum (alas haven't been below 8 stone for a while though )

Rkayne · 01/04/2003 07:28

The next time someone asks me if the baby isn't due very soon I'm tempted to tell them that actually I think its on its way and they'd better run and phone the hospital for me! That would shut them up. But like Wills I'm sure I would never have the courage to do it.

What makes it worse is that a very good friend of mine is expecting too - due only 2 weeks after me - adn she's not getting any of these comments! She hardly looks pregnant next to me.

I know I look big I just don't need people to tell me all the time time - It's like you said, any other time in your life and people wouldn't dream of making such comments!

OP posts:
expatkat · 01/04/2003 08:54

Yes--also used to happen to me.

I'm convinced you have to go through a pregnancy yourself in order to understand how unhelpful certain comments are.

I'm afraid that, pre-children, I used to make similar comments. I thought I was making conversation, not alarming or boring the preg woman in question. So I've never held it against anyone who does. It's just ignorance, usually.

I have a bigger problem with people asking about the name (again--something I did regularly before going thru pregnancy myself).

sprout · 01/04/2003 09:38

I know what you mean - but I found it a lot worse a year after having given birth when some people came out with helpful comments such as "you haven't lost much weight since the baby arrived", or "you're a lot bigger than you used to be". Grrr. Unfortunately true, but I didn't need reminding!

GeorginaA · 01/04/2003 12:09

You don't have to be pregnant to get unhelpful comments about weight though. I'm very slightly built always have been (am 5ft 4 and weigh 7 and a half stone).

Often get comments from complete strangers about how thin I am, am I eating properly, gosh you don't eat a lot (with the implied "are you anorexic" at the end - and no, I'm not).

Occasionally I do get the "aren't you lucky" comments (not really, still have to watch my weight only in the other direction, can get run down very quickly particularly when I got flu a month or so ago).

Sort of comments people wouldn't dream of making if they thought you were slightly overweight are perfectly acceptable if they think you're underweight. Drives me nuts! Worst was when I was in a swimming pool changing room - felt sooo self-conscious afterwards!

The pregnancy comments were a welcome relief!

NQWWW · 01/04/2003 14:34

I love having a big bump (at the moment - I'm 17 weeks - I know I'll feel very differently by the time I'm 8 months!). I'm really proud of it and don't mind people commenting at all. Its especially useful if you're travelling by public transport, for getting a seat. I quite blatantly shoved mine round the corner of someone's newspaper this morning on the tube (didn't work that time, mind you).

I am not normally overweight, but have had a pot belly for as long as I can remember (never quite got into sit-ups), and I love not having to hold my stomach in - what freedom!

Wear your big bump with pride!

Jzee · 01/04/2003 15:25

I'm 6 months and strangers keep telling me how big I am as well - so long as they are referring to my bump I'm ok with it, but if they wanted to touch it then I'd freak. For ages I felt like no one noticed my bump so now I'm happy it's being noticed!

Rkayne · 02/04/2003 07:31

NQWWW - is this your first? I loved it the last time too! Couldn't wait to get big and wear those maternity clothes adn have people notice I was pregnant.

But with my second some of the novelty has worn off I think. Not that I don't like being pregnant - i do, and I'm really looking forward to the new baby. But my patience with the "fat" comments has just worn a little thin. Possibly because this time I know I'm still going to be fat for a while after the baby comes ! Last time I had this illusion that I would be back in my size 8 jeans after 3 months. Hah! Took my almost a full year adn even then the 8s were a little bit of a squeeze adn only to be approached on a good day. :-)

But I know people mean well adn when I'm in a good mood I just laugh it off.

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Wills · 02/04/2003 09:20

Agree with the comment of a year for the weight! For me the pregnancy weight wasn't a problem, it was the subsequent weight that I put on because I fully believed all the HV when they assured me that because I was bf, I could eat what I wanted. 1mnth post preg is was a sz12, 6 mnths post preg I was a size 18.

Bron · 02/04/2003 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

doormat · 02/04/2003 10:37

GeorginaA I'm like you except a bit smaller and the anorexic quips wear thin after a while.To all you pregnant women out there congratulations and I envy you. Even though i do NOT want any more( as I have 6 already)there was nothing better than using the bump to rest your dinner on. Oh no I'm starting to get broody again.

Melly · 02/04/2003 21:06

Rkayne, you have my sympathy, I could have written your post when I was about the same stage as you are now, it really does get a bit wearing doesn't it. I too am quite small, so I suppose us little people just carry big Am now 39 weeks and pleased to say that the bump didn't explode as I thought it might do, it seems to gradually level off if you know what I mean. All the best for the rest of your pregnancy.

sb34 · 02/04/2003 21:16

Message withdrawn

crystaltips · 02/04/2003 21:21

When I was pregnant with DS I did not tell anyone at work until I was 30 weeks ! Admittedly, I'm not small but it is amasing what you can get away with - long jackets and short skirts
However the secrecy was to my detriment - as the comments I get now are - "look at the size of you - for all we know you could be about to drop" .... I AM heavier and I do not need reminding thanks

doormat · 02/04/2003 21:46

Sb34 Everytime one began school, I would fall pregnant again. It did not matter whether I was on the pill or what I still got caught.They are aged 2 to 18. Hence the nickname as they try to walk all over me.Do not want no more.

sb34 · 02/04/2003 21:55

Message withdrawn

doormat · 02/04/2003 21:59

Sb34 Too bloody fertile if you ask me.I refrain from s** now just in bleedin case I get caught again.

doormat · 02/04/2003 22:17

How do I cope? It gets easier as you go along as you know what to expect.I MAKE sure I have time for myself.I go out on the razz once a week to recharge those batteries.Gives me something to look forward to. Another tip is to close your eyes and ears!!!!while they act up.No seriously to all you pregnant women out ther enjoy your pregnancies as they are all different and wonderful.Take care all of you.

Rkayne · 03/04/2003 07:33

Don't worry about hijacking the thread - happy to go off on a tangent! I live in a community with a lot of Jewish families and the more religious ones have very big families - at least 6 children, usually under the age of 12!!! I can't really imagine.

But what really struck me was the other day we were discussing weekly shopping. Where I might buy a loaf of bread, 2 litres of milk, a bag of frozen chips, a pack of dairylee slices that come 8 in a pack and a pack of boneless chicken breasts, this woman I know (with 6 children ages 1-11) buys 4 loaves of bread, 10 litres of milk, 4 bags of chips, from somewhere she finds cheese slices that come 96 in a pack and 5 whole chickens!!!!! Can you even imagine?

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