I'm telling work tomorrow that I'm PG again- I only returned after a years mat leave in November! I'm really worried, any tips??

[ilikeyoursleeves]

Well the title says it all really! I had my DS in October 2007 and went back to work PT in November 2008. DS was conceived via IVF but this one amazingly just happened naturally in Nov 2008! We had been planning more fertility treatment this spring so it's fantastic but it happened earlier than expected and given my fertility situation before I doubt my work will be expecting this news tomorrow! There are a lot of new people there since I left for mat leave so not all of them know I had IVF.

I am sooooo worried though because I have only been back a few months and now I will only have 5 months to go before another (hopefully) year mat leave. My boss went off on her mat leave in Dec 2008 and will be off for a year I think and I am meant to be acting up for the year in her abscence
(oops). I am dreading telling her and also the rest in case the think I'm a total skiver or something. I know I'm probably being a being irrational about it but I'm still worried how everyone will react or what they'll say to me / behind my back.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Any tips for tomorrow? Thanks.

I have been in a very similar position. My boss was fine about it. He siad most people have more than one child and that it was probably better for my career to get the two maternity leaves out the way sooner. Just bite the bullet. So what about what they think about you. You are making a baby and have more important things to worry about.

BTW - I made it even worse for myself by deciding to leave after my two maternity breaks. Now that was difficult!!

I went on mat leave Jan 05, had DS1 in Feb 05, went back to work end of July 05, announced I was pregnant again in Nov 05, mat leave June 06, had DS2 Aug 06, went back to work Jan 07.
No problems that I was aware of.

Firstly, huge congrats on your pg - what a lovely story. We're about to try IVF again and would love your story!

2nd, don't worry in the slightest about work - there's nothing you can do to change the situation is there?! You're pregnant - not a skiver!

Most women have their children fairly close together so it's not like they're never going to have had this before. Go in, tell them, be really happy and tell them you know it's very sudden but it wasn't planned, and just a wonderful surprise. If they are good employers they will be chuffed for you .

Enjoy your pregnancy and mat leave. You deserve every second!

I told my work on Friday, and have been back since August. They have been pushing me to go back F/T and offering me loads of money, they has no idea I was preggers and planning another year off.

They have been great, I think to be honest people like you doing it all close together??

Congratulations though, are you due in Aug as well? Think we might be on the same thread??

Thanks for the messages SpecialOffer I am on the July thread, I'm due on 24th July!

Loads of good luck spongebrain for your forthcoming IVF. Have you had many goes before now? I hope it works this time

Thank you ilike, had 3 attempts - 3rd one we had my gorgeoues DS. Desperate for another one now!

Hope telling work goes well . But more importantly enjoy your pg!

firstly congratulations!

I've been in this situation twice I'm expecting dc3 and have returned to work pg both times so far, I've only got 18 months between ds's and 18 months again between ds2 and dc3 so I've been almost exactly 12 wks when I returned to work.
Both times my manager has supprised me and been really nice about it, the worry about telling them is far worse than the actual event in my experience, think of the beautiful family you're going to have and try not to worry about it, it is only work

Congratulations, that is lovely news.

Don't worry about it, focus on the pg and your family. I once worked with someone who came in to see her manager whilst she was still on ML to tell him she was pg. I think she came back to work for about 6 weeks before going off again. People talked about it of course, but I can't remember anyone being mean about it.

Congratulations!!

Try not to show you feel "guilty" about it in any way - just tell them the facts in a pleasant, positive manner.

If you feel any temptation to say something like "I know I've only just come back and now I'm going again, I'm really sorry to do this to you" etc - I would bite it back! You are not a skiver, you are pregnant. Skivers are those who are off without good reason. You have done nothing wrong and your PG does not make you a less worthy employee in any way.

It's a situation that none of the male staff will ever have to worry about that's for sure, so why should you! Just smile and say it is an unexpected but very welcome development (make sure you are positive about it no matter how awkward you feel, because they will pick up on that subconsciously) and you will work closely with the team (or whoever) to ensure a smooth a transition as possible when the time comes.

Oh and in these situations I think - who's going to care about this in 2/3/4/5 years time, that someone they once worked with went on maternity leave twice within 3 years?!?! Bigger picture puts it in perspective.

Don't tell until you need too.

Don't apologise for being pregnant.

Congratualations!

Hi all, well I told everyone at work over today and yesterday and they have all been lovely about it. They have been so surprised when I've said that it's a natural pregnancy too, so I think that's made them even happier that it happened without all the IVF hassles again. The women have been lovely and it's giving them something to talk about as in baby names etc LOL but I have had some 'comments' from the couple of male staff. They think they are being funny but I told one of them to watch where he was going with his conversation today when he started going on about women constantly on mat leave .

Now I just need to tell my boss (who's on mat leave herself!).

I really think that anyone who said anything mean knowing the probs that you had conceiving the first it is seriously their problem not yours. If you've had to have IVF previously and want another baby you aren't exactly going to use contraception are you?

And congratulations x

congratulations! theresonlyme's right - you dont need to tell them until you are 20+ weeks. I had a similar situation as was due back of mat leave in may 08 but was already 21 weeks pregnant at the time of resuming work so was only actually back at work for 15 weeks and had to take 7 weeks annual leave before i started my next maternity leave

have to say i wasnt employee of the month but then, when am I?

Hi fledtoscotland, I know I didn't need to say anything yet but I was fed up trying to hide bump when I'm so proud of it! Plus my job involves long term patient contact in the NHS so I'm having to think about when / how to tell patients so they know where they stand too.

I'm going to wear my lovely new maternity skirt tomorrow!

Congrats ilikeyoursleeves, esp after no1 being IVF - funny I've had a couple of friends who have had the same thing happen to them, maybe your body just gets the hang of things once you've done it once ?!

I was due back from my year off with no1 and would have been just 6wks gone with no2. I was trying to go part-time and despite them saying the right thing was essentially getting the complete cold shoulder - they wanted me back full time and I couldn't face that. Mainly because my job was very travel related and I didn't want to be so far from home with unpredictable hours that would have made childcare a nightmare, and we didn't want ds in childcare 7til7 which is what would have happened.

So I told them with the minimum otice legally possible that I wasn't going back at all. One and only time I ever made my boss speachless !!

What a fab day that was !! Have never looked back

Have taken a full career break and been at home playing mum for over 3 yrs now, now waiting arrival of no3 so not likely to make it back before my 5yr break ends but don't care anymore. Having and raising children is the most important job in the world and don't ever forget that. It's bloody hard work and done right can never be said to be "skiving"

Bask in the glory of being pregnant, relish all the positiveness coming from those pleased for you and ignor anyone else !!

Hi I know you have already told work and everything but thought I would post anyway as I am in exactly the same position! I also went back to work pt in November after 10mo maternity leave. My DS was born in March 08, I'm 11 weeks and due 21st August! My senior had just announced her pregnancy to the boss and that same day I also went in and told her I was 8 weeks! Not told everyone at work yet but boss been really good about it! Hope everything goes well with pg and your boss is ok when she gets back!