"No thanks, I'm not drinking tonight..." and other attempts to hide in first trimester!

[Gentle]

Please help! I have a hen do and wedding coming up of someone I am very close to, hen night will be small group of 10 and wedding will be group of about 40 together for 10 hours.

I am 9 weeks and do not want anyone to know I am pregnant for a number of reasons, but most of all the biggie - the bride has had some health issues which mean she has recently found out she cannot have more kids.

This might be mission impossible as I will be 12 weeks on her wedding day, but I REALLY don't want to "upstage" her wedding in any way. Ideally I'd like to break the news a week or more after the wedding so she has some time to glow & bask.

How can you hide the fact that you're not drinking? I am a useless fibber, so I'd rather hear tactics than the old antibiotics chestnut (my family are too nosy to let that one lie and I have 2 events to get through in 2 weeks with the same group and I don't want them thinking I am desperately ill). I was thinking of taking cranberry juice and pretending that it's red wine... somehow...

Luckily I have found a massive turquoise maxi dress that borders on ugly, so no-one will notice my changing tummy anyway!

Just say you had the biggest hangover headache ever the other week and now you are eating and drinking more healthily-joke and say you migh have to sell a kidney in the credit crunch

I rarely drink and people always assume its cos im preggers

If you get a sparkling water and put a lemon or lime in it, it looks like a mixed drink. Of course, then you can't have anyone buy you one!

When some-one asks, say you are pacing yourself as you do not want to drink too much too quickly...at the wedding this will work quite well as most people will probably not notice as the evening wears on that you are still not drinking. This works for me if I am not drinking, as I often alternate between a beer/wine and a soft drink anyway.

Drive your car there, so that you can't drink.

I have the answer..I was advised to do it and never believed it would work but it did

People aren't interested in the drinking of the drink...just the social aspect of being in a gang

Enthusiastically ask for a drink

Hold it

Ditch it

When it comes to the meal there will be wine and water on the table
Ask for white/red
Drink the water

After that everyone will be off your trail/tail and too pissed to bother about what you are doing

At the wedding you can drink the same drink as your DP/DH and snakily swap drinks over. This worked really well for us, although it had the (happy?) side effect that DH got completely hammered!

If you volunteer to go to the bar on the hen night then you can have a (pretend rum and) coke or a (pretend gin and) tonic etc. etc. The other trick that I used was to get two bottles of pretend beer and pour them into a pint glass - you can make it last for ages.

Lastly - I would have the (very occasional) glass of wine anyway, which tended to put people off a bit. If there is a big meal with the hen then you could have a small glass then and make it last, and drink lots of water.

Great that you're thinking of your friend, by the way.

Agree with Tee2072. I was at a wedding in first trimester when expecting DS. Got DH to take control of the 'going to the bar' for a group of us. He made a point of asking everyone (very loudly ) what they wanted for each round. I would answer vodka and coke each time and he would bring me back a coke. Worked a treat and nobody guessed a thing.
During the meal I would accept glasses of wine and DH would casually drink them! There are so many things lying on the table that no-one will notice who's drinking what.

i had a huge party when 10 weeks pg with nimber 6 and no one knew

Carry a glass a lot and sip - you can sip

ditch - its easy at a big do!

i had this on a christmas night out - to which i volunteered to drive all my colleagues "it's my turn" etc, and got bought orange juice and such all night
win - win eh?

Drive

Take along a hipflask filled with 'vodka' (AKA water) and blame the credit crunch! - In my youth, my friends and I actually used to do this at fancy dress parties... We would dress up as soldiers and then take hip flasks filled with alcohol to save on drinks... Gosh, I am sad admitting that one!

Have a sneaky word with the management so that, whoever orders drinks, you get a non alcohol equivalent (I've seen this done at some places... But generally not rowdy clubs and I have no clue where you are going!!)

As someone earlier said, the later it gets, the easier it gets, cos as people get a bit tispy, they will care less about you!

Have a good time and good luck with the PG!

the hen night sounds more difficult than the wedding - with 40 people there, including dh/dp - the wedding shouldnt really be a problem as people suggest above with you being seen holding a glass of wine etc but dh actually drinking it, or at least some of it, and you leaving it lying at other times.

the hen night could be trickier with just 10 though - is there anyone who can help you out doing the same thing - eg drinking some for you. If not - you might end up going to the bar a lot yourself to get gin and tonic without the gin etc. really does help to have one person who knows. thats how i got through my works christmas night out.

gets a lot easier later on when everyone else is a bit drunk anyway.

Oooh.. Cat64... that's a good one: Organise a kitty and then take responsibility for the drinks!! Most people will love the fact that you are going to go to the bar for them all night and leaves you in charge of ordering the drinks!!!

That's a good one, which sounds totally believeable on a hen night!

I couldn't drink for about a year and this technique helped avoid questions.

Ask for a small glass when ordering drinks (like the ones they put spirit+mixer in) it looks like alcohol but isn't.

Also if they do shots on the hen night you can order one and when everyone tips theirs back tip it on the floor.

Drive to the wedding.

My trick was to go to the bar in whatever pub and tell the barman/woman I wasn't drinking but that I didn't want friends to know. I asked them to put a small amount of apple juice in a wine glass and dilute it with water... Looked just like white wine and nobody knew... Loved it and a lot of the times the bar staff gave it for free!!!

Gin & tonic which is just tonic, something or other and coke which is just coke, ditto with orange juice. Nobody will ever notice as it all looks exactly the same. A white wine spritzer that's hardly any wine and loads of sparkling water (nobody will notice if you switch to just water later) or if you don't want any wine, have some apple juice with mineral water instead as that's the same colour. If it's at all warm in the room just drink water because you're really hot and thirsty at the moment.

Whta a lot of brilliant suggestions, thank you.

Ronaldihnio, I think yours will be my main strategy, and then I am going to borrow bits of everyone else's!

I think as many say that the focus will be on the bride and not me, particularly as people get more drunk as the night wears on.

Thanks again!

Yeap go with ronaldihnio
and if after the dinner anyone notices just say your feeling abit tipsy/full going to have some water first

congratulations

at wedding just have a white wine spritzer

more spritzer than wine

much better imo to order a drink and then nurse it carefully wihtout actually drinking (or drinking just a sip, which won't do any harm!) i find that people comment if you don't get a drink, but don't actually notice whether you drink it or not!

I went on a hen party at 10 wk pregnant. I did tell my sister and best friend the news (have you told no-one?)
I had spoken to hen couple days before and said had had 'the bug' but dont worry wouldn't miss it for world etc etc so everyone thought i was abit delicate so was taking it easy. I drank LOTS of water and when my sis/friend were going bar id shout (so everyone heard!!) Vodka and coke pls! When really was always just coke....
We did shots, as they were being passed along bar i emptied mine in sis's glass then on the count looked to down it!!
No-one knew and it was a 3 day hen do!!

Great tips - I've got a dinner tonight for a friends birthday and was going to go for the old antibiotics, but these all sound a lot better!
Thanks,

I rather (pathetically) claimed I had given up alcohol for lent, thinking none of my friends will swallow that one (I am not even religious and have never given up anything for lent). Amazingly all but one believed me. I guess the timing is wrong for that one though.

The other day I arrived at the pub only to find my mate had already got me a pint in! I came up with the excuse that I'd been drinking all afternoon and just couldn't face another one - then the conversation went on to why I had been drinking so much and how hardcore I was!