pregnancy anxiety - might a doula help?

[forevermore]

I am only 6-7 weeks pregnant but a real worrier and already hounding my GP and surfing mumsnet 'spotting' and 'mc' threads. Everyday i think I am going to MC even though I haven't before (I have one dd). I have been getting backpain and brown spotting. GP says could be something, could be not. just have to be paitent and scan at 7 - 8 week. I keep thinking - Am I willing something bad to happen?

Anyway....I was thinking, would a Doula help aleviate my worries? What is exactly is their role or is it mainly to do with the birth?

The bigger question is what do they cost.

Hi Iam a Trainee Doula so with us the fees are greatly reduced. Where abouts are you. Doulas are a great support emotionally and practically. The earlier you book a Doula the more rapor and trust you will have in her. They offer continual email and phone support and most of them do 2-3 antinatal visits to you to discuss your worries and option ect. They are with you throughout your labour to hopefully help you have a good birth and achieve anything you want to try.
Having a Doula can help you calm your nerves as you have someone to talk to and listen to you while you wait for your appointmnts with the midwives etc.

Try to be calm about the bleeding if it increases just pop along to the hospital, no one will think you are silly and they will not turn you away.

Just let me know if you want my email to talk.

hi Leanne5. That sounds interesting thanks. I am in The south east of London/kent Borders. Iw ould like your email if possible. What is the cost compared to a fully trained Doula?

I am too far for your self I am in berkshire. A trainee going through the Doula Uk Recognition process charges £150 otherwise it can go up to around £800 for a recognied doula.
My emial is [email protected]

Take a look here.
www.doula.org.uk
www.nurturingbirth.co.uk

Hi, I know MN is a hotbed of doula-friendlyness and will probably get soundly flamed for this, but doula care should complement, rather than substitute, maternity care.

I don't know what catchment area for which hospital you are but see if you can get MW care with a group of group-practice or caseload midwives. You'll have access to continuity of care and carer that should enable you to develop a professional friendship and address any fears or worries you have and you'll gain an advocate to negotiate the maternity services with you. The local head of midwifery should be able to advise...

I totally agree with you Spillage21. I just re read my post and certain I have not put anything about substituting. Doulas are not medically trained although some have been nurses and midwives. The vast majority are mums. The midwifery service is imho the most rewarding thing out there and that the maternity care does not get enough praise for. You all do a fantstic service.
Altough for some mums to be this is not often the case and the little extra support that we can offer should compliment the maternity care and by no means take over. This is not our role.
In some areas, especially where i am the maternity sector is lacking and very much stretched. I have my own reasons why i have traineed to be a Doula and enjoy giving women the extra support. I hope to be seen as a useful part of a team.

leanne, I am a Kent Recognised Doula, I know that Turtle23 on here is a trainee doula surrey borders.

[email protected] if you'd like to chat.

Of course we are not at all substitutes for proper and thorough maternity care, we compliment the system i like to believe.

sorry i meant forevermore.

I had actually had three miscarriages before getting pg with my DS.

My doula was the only person who was interested in my feelings about the pregnancy (scared witless), and felt that these were valid things to feel. Just that made me feel better as I suddenly had someone in RL to talk to.

The community midwives couldn't have given a toss about how I felt as long as my blood pressure was fine tbh, and at no point in my pregnancy or postnatal period (and DS was premature) did I ever feel that they cared about me.

My Doula on the other hand was a complete rock through it all, and I don't know how I would have coped without her

It's a real shame that women have experiences such as yours cmotdibbler. I have to question why some midwives are still in the profession when they seem to lack any form of empathy or even warmth: you see it a lot unfortunately. As a profession midwifery needs to acknowledge and respond to why women feel they have to seek out doulas (who are essentially doing stuff that MWs should also be doing).

Professionally, I have my reservations about doulas, however I do accept that they are plugging a gaping hole that has emerged in maternity care.

Alas, all the midwives I was in contact with were like this. I'd like to say that there was someone who gave a toss, but I spent a week in hospital after DS was born, and most days no one on the ward even spoke to me, let alone enquired as to how I (and DS who was on SCBU) was. I even saw my community midwife on the ward (they worked in the hospital too) and she didn't bother to see me. Discharged with a 35 weeker who had needed phototherapy, IV antibiotics, ng feeding etc etc, and didn't have a visit for 4 days.

Anyway, my point was that the doula filled the place that my mum might have taken in an ideal world - a familiar, reassuring presence, who was focussed on me, was there all the time (apparently 7 different mws in the room over a 6 hour labour which didn't cross shifts), and who was happy to rub my back for 5 hours

I empathise cmot - my midwife has the social skills of a housebrick, so though she makes the right noises I feel not all inclined to share my feelings about pg after miscarriage with her, and also my anxieties aboutt he fact my baby has an anomaly.

To op, I would recommend looking for a doula and I have also done hypnobirthing, which I found very helpful at relaxing me. Also, come and join us on the Pregnancy after Miscarriage thread - we are in a similar boat to you and it is a great support.

It makes me sooooo cross when I hear about poor PN care. It's one of the most important aspects of MW care and one which makes a huge amount of difference on so many levels.

I feel a rant building up, but am going to breeeaaaatheeee....