can i do it? please help

8 replies

MissConfused · 17/01/2009 13:20

i found out a couple of days ago that i am pregnant from my bf who i have been together with for 4 months. i don't know what to do because i am in my teens i go to college and have never really wanted children but now i'm not sure what i want. my bf would love it if i kept the baby but he says he would support me if i do want an abortion, i just don't know what to do please help and please don't say i'm a troll i don't have any kids but have used mn before and i just want help.

OP posts:

alicecrail · 17/01/2009 13:28

My dd was a shock too but i am a bit older than you and have a house so makes it slightly easier. If you go to your gp they will offer you counselling for abortion if thats really what you want. Have you got a mother around? Could you talk to her? or perhaps bf mother

MrsMattie · 17/01/2009 13:30

Have you got a trusted adult - mum, aunty etc - that you can discuss this with? If you want to do it, of course you can, but you will need support. Good luck x

Original poster

MissConfused · 17/01/2009 13:36

i have been to my gp and he was very unsensitive, all he talked about was aboortion and i tried to say i wasn't sure if i wanted to keep it and he didn't understand he seemed to think i should have an abortion. i can't talk to my mum because we have had a lot of arguments recently and i'm scared of what she will say and i haven't got anyone else to talk to

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MissyK · 17/01/2009 14:05

Hi, I was in the same position with you when I fell pregnant with my son now 4.
I was 19, in college/working part time, living with my parents and in a fairly new replationship..
It's a hard choice to make, just don't rush anything, there are lots of people around who can help and offer you advice and support.
As I said my ds is now 4, and I have a new son due in April/May
Unfortunately I split with my ex when ds was under 1, and now hear nothing from him but we still managed fine on our own.. in fact I am now married to a lovely man & have never been so happy.
Whatever you decide make sure you have support, for what it's worth I still managed to finished college!!

keels26 · 17/01/2009 14:13

Hi, have been in the exact same position as you are in now, except that I had only been with my boyfriend for 2 months when I found out I was pregnant! We were both in college, I was 17, he was 18 and we were both still living at our parents houses. If Im honest he was more up for having the baby then I was, but in the end we decided to keep it. Our son is now nearly 9, and we have a little girl of 1, we have been together for almost 10 years.
Just wanted to show you that it worked out well for us, but it has to be your decision at the end of the day. I couldnt talk to my Mum about it at the time, we didnt get along very well, I just had to figure it out by myself. I hope you can make a decision thats right for you and that your happy with, good luck. Take care xx

Original poster

MissConfused · 17/01/2009 14:29

thanks i know lots of people have managed it i'm just not sure if i can, one moment i think i want it and i can do it and the next i think no i can't cope i don't know if i want the responsibility yet... how do i know if i'm ready?

OP posts:

alicecrail · 17/01/2009 16:23

Miss confused, i am slightly unclear as to why you would have used mn before if you have no children and have never really wanted them. It has been bugging me all afternoon

mum2b09 · 17/01/2009 19:04

Hi missconfused. I know exactly the position your in as i went through the same thing at the beginning of the year. Im 18 dont know how old you are as you never said exactly but i was 17 when i fell pregnant.

It was never really a very hard decision for me as abortion enver crossed my mind. However the worries of how id cope and money issues and would i have enough support did come to mind.

You really should work out how your going to support the child and where you will live with the baby.

Your not the first and certainly wont be the last teenage mum thats in college and there is alot of support out there for young girls with babys.

Iv had trumendous support from midwives and family, do you have anyone that would help with the pregnancy.

Im not saying it will be easy as pregnancy and motherhood are huge responsibilities to take on but your baby is a life now and you have to really think about it.

Only you can make the decision and as for how do you know if your ready... i dont think anyone ever really feels ready to have a baby. even women with more than enought financial and emotional support will think oh god iv actually made a baby at some point during their pregnancy.

I hope you make the right decision for you hun.

Good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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