Anyone else completely disinchanted with ante-natal care?

[cupcakeandtea]

I know I'm at risk of sounding like a right moaning minnie but I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels a bit disenchanted with my local ante-natal clinic - not only with the staff but with the other mothers-to-be.

I know I'm not special by any means and thousands upon thousands of women give birth every day but when I walk into my local clinic the staff can hardly be bothered to be civil and I feel like I'm very much part of a process I can't get out of now. I know the staff there are hideously busy but a smile now and then wouldn't go amiss.

While I was waiting for my glucose intolerance test last week there were two full term mothers next to me moaning about not being able to go out and have a fag and it just totally depresses me. I think of all those women who are desperate to have children and they're sitting there moaning about not being able to smoke! The other day it all kicked off because a youngish woman felt she was being 'dissed' by a nurse and her scumbag boyfriend threatened to punch her in the face.

Then I go to my 25 week check up and because I'm feeling fine and don't seem to have any problems at the moment, it's like the midwife is almost looking for something to be wrong so she can scare me silly.

End of rant (sorry if I've bored you to tears)!

I've had lots of problems with this pregnancy and have been really depressed by my appointments. The medical care has been great but the professionals could really do with polishing up on the emotional side.

However, I saw my community midwife yesterday for the first time since my booking-in, and she was wonderful. She told me everything seemed fine, the first time anyone has ever said that to me with this pregnancy. I could have kissed her.

I think a lot depends on how busy they are. I went to labour ward last week for monitoring and the place was empty. They actually made me a cup of tea, something I didn't get in a whole week in hospital after the birth of DS1, when I had a c-section, post op infection, a severely jaundiced son and a sodding lecture from the SCBU nurse for refusing to give formula to my son.

I am trying to keep an open mind for this pregnancy but unfortunately, the ante-natal staff are incredibly stretched and it seems something has to give.

Gee, I almost feel guilty because I am receiving excellent care. I guess it just depends on what hospital you go to.

My care was great but after being told the baby i was carrying who'd taken years to convieve and was desperatly wanted was almost certainly going to die after i had done everything right I did want to go and shake the stupid cows stood outside the maternity unit in their dressing gowns smoking.

I dont think some peope have any shame.

I totally agree about ante natal care, there is not enough! Ended up paying for NCT classes which I had not budgeted for, and being self employed I ended up losing £1000 in earnings by having to go to day classes because no evening ones are available. I know for a fact the unemployed/teenage mums in our area got first dibs on the NHS ante natal places. That, for me, is wrong. I waited a decade to have my baby so I could afford to take time off work.

Know what you mean. The glucose tolerance test one of the women was moaning so much and so loudly about not being able to have food - FOR ONE MORNING.
Care been mixed. With dd1 it could not have been better and a lot of that was down to wonderful community midwife, with dc2 definitely not so good although yesterday one midwife went to so much trouble to find something out for me about Anti-D jab I could have cried.
WorzelMummage Im so so sorry about your news.

Is this your first baby? I remember the crap antenatal care where I am (London) came as a total shock to me with my first baby. Moody midwives who couldn't wait to rush me out the door. Nobody ever remembering who I was or bothering to read my notes properly. Forgetting important things - like my anti-D injections. It was depressing. I won't depress you further with how crap my experience of hospital was first time round!

Be assertive about the care you need and try to stay positive. The best opportunity for meeting other mums comes oncde your baby is born - mum & baby groups, classes etc or even just the baby clinic / park.

Good luck x

I can understand your frustration at the standard of care - you sound like your experiences haven't been great.

It's very difficult. The emotional side of the equation matters a lot - politeness, how you treat people who have had bad news, how to treat people full stop really but at the same time the staff are often so busy and treated like shit themselves that it gets passed on. It isn't an excuse by any means because I agree that its unacceptable its just some attempt to rationalise it.

With hindsight there were some glaring fuck ups in my care with my 1st pregnancy - like MrsMattie I also had to remind people about Anti D shots etc. because I had a lot of bleeding in the 2nd tri and was in and out of hospital like a bloody yo yo. When a midwife kept me waiting for an hour and half past the appt time and then "forgot" to check my urine at about 30 weeks I compained and got the best communuity midwife EVER.

I'm having a bit of a rough time of it at the moment (2nd preg, bad scan, blood tests to check HCG etc. but outcome not looking that great) and totally share your sentiments about wanting to slap the silly bitches puffing away outside the maternity block.

I moved to the south east (london/essex border) at about 30 weeks and was shocked. No one other than the GP I registered with was at all interested in getting me into the system, no midwives seem to have any time or empathy - and I'm not asking for anything special. There are no antenatal classes due to lack of midwives, so I was told that I would just have to work with 'whoever is there during labour' on the day - encouraging as is my first.

I think it is all due to lack of staff as I moved from NHS Scotland which is entirely different. We planned to stay in Scotland until the birth as we were happy with things there, but DH's job was not compliant.

I think part of it is that you just become a hospital number rather than a patient and it totally removes any individuality from the experience if that makes any sense?