What age is too late for a 3rd child?

[dazedandconfused]

I have two lovely DCs, a son of 5 and a daughter of nearly 4. When they were smaller I couldn't imagine coping with a 3rd, but now I feel my family isn't complete - coming from a family of 3 kids myself.

I haven't got long-term financial security in my job at the mo, and DH and I have (successfully) come through a lot of problems. I will be 38 this year and am nervous of the risks for mothers of 35+ yrs ...

Should we be content with what we have? Or should we consider a third child? I know DH has been thinking about it too.

Any advice gratefully received ...

I will be 38 next month - no 3 is due on my birthday! Go for it!

I am 39 next week and will be thinking about No3 from next Christmas

I don't think any age is too late, if you are able to conceive or adopt.

Age is just a number (I keep reminding myself that!)
My DS is 15, DD1 is 12, DD2 2.3 and I'm expecting number 4 in 27 days (yes, I'm counting!) and I'm 41! Number 4 was not planned (daft cow that I am thought it was the menopause) but wouldn't change a thing.
It was a bit worrying with all the tests etc at my age but we took the decision that what is meant to be will be.

Go for it!

Have heard that one never regrets having a child, rather not having one....

I got pg with no3 shortly after my 40th birthday. It was a surprise at the time! Everything went smoothly though and my risk for downs was the same as a 19 y/o!! (I opted for extra thorough testing at the Fetal Medical Centre in Harley st therefore avoiding an amnio or cvs).

I didnt feel 'complete' until I had #3. Being a family of 5 is brilliant!!Go for it

Ilovemydog, clearly you haven't got a daughter like my 12 year old!

I'm older than you and pg with my first!

I am also thinking very hard about no.3 . Like another poster said I don't feel my family is complete yet. I have a dd of 5.5 and a ds of 1.5. I wouldn't attempt a third until my ds is 2.5 at least so another year to go. I will therefore be 37 when I conceive (hopefully) and prob 38 when baby is born. I also wonder if I should just be happy with what I've got though but I seem to spend alot of time lurking on the baby names thread for a baby that is not likely to be borm (if at all) for 2 years!!

O had DD at 40 - 10 uears after DS1.
Its loevely

But to be honest I always think that if you are asking a bunch of random mothers then you shouldn't really proceed as you are clearly not convinced.

When DH and i decided to try for DD it is because we were both totally enchanted with the notion of another , last child. And we discussed increased chance of disability and were comfortable that that made no difference to us.
We just really wanted another babe

at mumoverseas - DD is 2 and everything is: 'why' 'why' 'why'

If your reservations are about whether you would manage a 3rd child, then you will be able to take a careful look at your circumstances to know that one.

But reservations about the health of your baby are different, as we all know that babies do not come with a guarantee. Although some risks increase with age, in fairness there could have been something 'wrong' with either of your chldren already.

Trust your instincts - go for it!

For what its worth, one of my biggest regrets in life so far is that we did not have a 3rd child. And now I really am too old.

I have 3 DCs and DS2 is our 'character'. Totally different from the other two and keeps me on my toes but so, so lovely. Have a theory that number 3 tends to be the clown - ours certainly needs to make us feel his presence by fooling around and being noisy! We would have been such a bookish family without him...

Had ds1 at 34, ds2 at 36 and ds3 at 39. TBH, I was scared the whole way through with ds3 that there might be something wrong. We decided before I got pg not to do blood tests. The fact that he was a (nother!) healthy male was a lovely surprise!

I am in a similar position to the OP. I think what ilovemydog and lightshinesinthedarkness say is very interesting about regret etc. It is such an all or nothing decision but such an emotional one. I've tried making a list of pros and cons but someone it just comes down to how I feel, not what is practical etc.

I think the potential feeling of regret in the future was the descision maker for us. We went round and round in circles trying to decide whether to go for number 3 and then it took a year to conceive!

Can't wait now - apart from anything else I am really uncomfortable!!!!!

I am 38 this year and no.3 is on the way. Had DD1 at 34, dd2 at 35. We took years to conceive so we didnt have any choice but to have them late.

strawberry - it is a lot about how you feel, but so many of us have to consider the practical things as well.

It would not be right to carry on having babies because you wanted to satisfy your maternal urges, if you could not support and provide for them. Your whole family could lose out that way, as there woudl be less of very little to go round.

My third is on the way and I'm 38. It was unplanned but I'm delighted. The age thing doesn't bother me really, my only concern is that we struggle a bit with money as it is, still we've got 7 months to win the lottery! Joking apart, it just feels so right - go for it!

I gave birth to our third, and last, 4 months before my 38th birthday.

Go for it!

Sorry, didn't mean to suggest that the practical things don't matter. They definitely do and weigh very heavily which is why I haven't made any decisions. Its just that what makes us happy as a family seems more emotional/nebulous but it is important too.

when we decided to have DD we already had DS2 who is very severly disabled - so of course practical issues count....
I am not very big on 'go gor it' tbh when it comes to creating kids but I relise I have a specific life experince...

be careful expat. My last two (aged 12 and 2) were supposed to be my last! I gave everything away twice and had to buy it all again!