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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Do you get treated differently with your second pregnancy, like it is less important?

50 replies

PavlovtheCat · 11/01/2009 22:52

I am just curious really.

DH and I are going to try for our second baby (I get my implant removed next week).

When I was pg with DD, people were lovely, I was given lots of support, bought bg books, directed to websites, asked how I was feeling, bought little gifts for imminent baby, people checked out what I could and could not eat if they were cooking, and if they were drinking wine with dinner, I would get nice fruit juice. DH would do lots for me, spoilt me rotten at times, foot massage. blah blah blah.

Do people think, oh its your second, you been there before, old hat now. And take less of an interest?

Did you get as excited about your second pg and imminent LO? Did your partner?

I am very excited about the prospect of another baby, and I guess, would like other people to be too, but wonder if they will.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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pgwithnumber3 · 11/01/2009 23:42

Not quite as easy as had Polyhydroamnios (excess fluid) so at 32 weeks was measuring 36 and so on. Had worse indigestion etc. This pg I haven't had one symptom. Maybe because DD2 was only 7 months when I got pg with DD3 and the hormones were still in my system? Even at 37 weeks pg I feel brilliant, just a bit tired and struggle going up 3 floors carrying DD2. Don't even get up for the toilet at night.

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 11/01/2009 23:47

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Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 11/01/2009 23:59

I am getting more excited hearing from all you pg ladies!

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BoffinMum · 11/01/2009 23:59

Around me people are madly excited and keep making a fuss of me. And I am having my fourth!

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 12/01/2009 00:03

Boffin - but then, you are in the realms of Goddess now though aren't you, so you should be worshipped

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BoffinMum · 12/01/2009 11:35

There is something in that . Once you have more than three children, wierd things happen. You are seen as super-fertile, omniscient about all things to do with children and the home, and all-powerful, particularly if you work out of the home as well. People frequently defer to you and think you are something special. Oddly, discrimination seems to happen less. You are plied with cake at every opportunity and encouraged to rest a lot more than in earlier pregnancies. I did not expect this and it's brilliant!!

WizzyWoo · 13/01/2009 21:38

BoffinMum You sound like Super Mum and have dispelled any niggling doubts I've been having about ttc #2...

Pavlov, who's Jimmy? I'm a newbie to MN, just fell into the site by accident a couple of weeks ago and loving chatting to like-minded people. Hope all's well with you, see you on the other thread...

Reallytired · 13/01/2009 21:45

I think with a second pregnancy that you have far too much to think about to dwell on it. You know what to expect and its less of a novety.

Midwives have some idea how your body copes with being pregnant. People who had major problems with the first have consultant care, where as those who had a easy time have fewer maternity appointments.

I have found this pregnancy far easier than my first. The time has certainly flown faster.

fruitstick · 13/01/2009 22:01

I agree that actually you end up caring less the second time around. Not about the baby of course, but you are far more relaxed about the pregnancy and, as a result, so are the people around you.

I was very vigilant with my 1st but this time round have drunk alcohol, coffee, eaten lots of things on the don't eat list. Running after a toddler means you don't have nearly enough time to dwell on yourself or how you are feeling.

DH has been much less sympathetic too, and is already complaining about the upcoming birth, sleepless nights, colic etc

But the baby itself is still just as exciting as it was the first time round.

WizzyWoo · 13/01/2009 22:37

Good on you, Fruitstick, hope I'm more relaxed if I'm lucky enough to conceive #2 soon. When are you due? Does 2nd pregnancy feel any different to your first one physically? I was really sick all way through with my 1st and although I'm ttc, I'm worried in case same thing happens again...

Tommy · 13/01/2009 22:39

absolutely! The book I read about it suggested that unless you have quintuplets or a kitten in there, no-one's interested in your second

WizzyWoo · 13/01/2009 22:40

Btw, has anyone used one of those Dreamgenie pillow things that keeps getting advertised on MN? Any use? Just wondering if it's worth getting one if I get pg again...

Reallytired · 13/01/2009 22:53

I was sick four to six times a day with my first pregnant. I am not 25 weeks pregnant and I have only been sick 5 or 6 times.

WizzyWoo, it does not necessarily follow that you will get hideous morning sickness with a subsequent pregnancy. My two pregnancies are wildly different.

xxhunnyxx · 13/01/2009 22:53

I'm having my first but I know that I'm guilty of treating my friend differently in her second pregnancy than in her first.

But TBH I don't think it is quite as big a deal, you're not becoming a mum for the first time, which to me is a massive life changing event. Of course it's still amazing and exciting to have a baby, whether it's your 1st or 10th but just not the huge deal of having your first.

I am one of these women who thinks that the whole world should stop and run around after me whilst I'm pregnant

WizzyWoo · 14/01/2009 20:00

Thanks for the advice, Really. I'm glad your 2nd pregnancy is going much better - you deserve it after suffering during your first one!

xxhunnyxx - I found that when I was having #1, people were very kind (including complete strangers who didn't know I was having 1st). I had offers of help to my car with shopping and all sorts and loved that part of it - it really restored my faith in mankind!

The most annoying thing first time round (aside from way too much vomiting) was the horror stories some people insisted on telling me, which I'm sure they added to for shock value. At least during the 2nd pregnancy, people can't shock you, as you've been through it already and have an idea what goes on!! Hope everything is going well so far?

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 14/01/2009 21:02

Wizzy - I had sickness all the way through my first too! How old is your first? I agree about horrid stories the first time which we can disregard!

Also I did not have MN the first time round, I found it just after she was born! This time, I have all you lot to support me!

I think too, that I would prefer to have just one this time, and no interest than triplets and lots of interest!!!! .

Thanks for all the ideas and perspectives everyone.

Wizzy - I will look out for you on the Oct thread! (or perhaps Nov if not lucky this month!) You spoke a bit like Jimmy, and she is also ttc no.2 also!!! Apologies and welcome to MN!

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Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 14/01/2009 21:03

Oh, and also, in the last two days, 5 people asked me at work how DD was, and if I would have/am considering/would like another one! And they do not know DH and I are about to start trying! I wonder if its DDs age, or maybe I am looking like I am ready now!

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Flumpybumpy · 14/01/2009 21:08

Yes, it was even worse with my third, I just kept being told 'you've done this before, I don't need to tell you anything!'

Sometimes just a little bit of special treatment would have been nice.

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 14/01/2009 21:10

flumpy - indeed! And by the 3rd, you need lots of help as you already have two to look after!

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Flumpybumpy · 14/01/2009 21:29

Another thing that got me was the 'sleep when the baby sleeps' comments. How exactly can I manage that?? Shall i just leave the other two look after themselves whilst I have a sleep.

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 14/01/2009 21:32

Flumpy - Do people say that to you!

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Flumpybumpy · 14/01/2009 21:44

Several different midwives in fact. When I asked what I should do with the other two one suggested let them sleep with you!!! Fantastic, why didn't think of that, I will make sure we are all synchronised so we can all sleep when Mummy is tired. Never mind that one is a 2 year old boy who runs on jumping beans and adredaline all day and the other is in year 1 so needs taking and picking up from school. Not to mention the baby that needs feeding and lunchtimes, fitting in a sleep is a piece of cake!!!

MrsMcJnr · 17/01/2009 22:42

I feel that the 2nd time is different, maybe because the 1st time the pregnancy was such an unknown journey and I enjoyed every step of the way but now that I have a baby I think of the new one as a member of my family already and am impatient for her to arrive. That said, I was so well last time and this time round I am still being sick often at 21 weeks! that has been a bit of a shock especially with a toddler to look after.

Milkmade · 21/01/2009 14:26

I'm the same - I used to find my MW appointments exciting etc, but now just find them a real drain on my time - am already stretched between work and toddler. And I keep forgetting my due date and how far gone I am and saying things like "Um mid June I think" when asked. Don't get me wrong I'm really looking forward to having a second child, I'm just not wild about a 2nd pregnancy - it seems secondary to spending time with dd.

nickytamoshantertwotimes · 21/01/2009 14:29

GOd, dh was so monumentally uninterested in my first pg, he my not even notice the next time1

Btw, hw was and is very interested in the kid though!

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