please help me, in tears this is turning into an obsession!

[minxofmancunia]

Am pg with number 2 after a mc in Sept, with dd it was unexpected and didn't find out til 7 weeks so wasn't really aware of early symptoms, tested cos of sense of smell and tiredness.

Found out i was pg on Wed and everyday has been hell, I'm constantly symptom spotting, going to the loo every 5 mins, reading everything on here, and v worried cos not really sick and have mild cramps, boobs are a bit sore but not much, am testing x3 a day to see of the line gets darker.

I really truly think I'm going to go mad with worry. If I go to the EPU do you think they'll do blood tests to see of hcg is behaving as it should?

I'm 4.5 weeks, if I can get to 7 I think I'll be a bit better as mc happened at 6.5.

Also v cold despite heating and lots of layers aren't you supposed to be watm when pg? I know I'm being a nutcase but really am sick with panic, does anyone have any suggestions on how to manage this?

it is not easy to relax when pg after a mc.
You are not a nutcase, of course you are anxious.
I am sure it will be fine. Sometimes too much info can be a bad thing. Get out with DD1 and stay away from the laptop!

It's awful isn't it the horrible pit of the stomach feeling. It does get better.

Feeling cold in the first trimester of pg is soooo nromal, I never usually feel the cold but when ph with DD I did and with this pg even more so.
Everyone gets different sympotoms at different times so don't worry about not feeling sick. I didn't start feeling sick with DD until I was 6 week gone and it was 24-7 then lol. With this pg I have felt mild sickness on and off from about 5 ish weeks, but nothing now and I am 13 weeks.
Sore boobs are normal as well, I couldn't tell you about cramps as I didn't get any with DD but have with this pg but from 11 weeks when I began bleeding.

Ring the EPU and ask them if there is anything they can do to put your mind at ease. The EPU have been bery helpful to me since I started bleeding and have done bloods and 3 scans in the space of 2 weeks now.

I know itis hard but you really do need to take it easy (easier said than done I know) and try to keep your mind busy so that you are occupied.

YOu may not feel sick at 4.5 weeks though so wouldn't worry abou that, make the most of it. Mild cramps could just be the little one settling into you and as for sore boobs with my 2 ds don't remember having aching boobs at all.
I am due period anytime now and am with you on the checking in the loo every 5 mins, its annoying!! i am fast running out of toilet paper!! CHin up and good luck x

Everything you've said is normal.
I had 2 mc and when got pregnant with ds, I was very much how you are now, constantly testing, checking knickers every 10-15mins and everything else. It's awful. I also mc again after ds was born but fell pg again straight away, am now 35 weeks.
I know this won't help, but you really have just got to try to relax and stay calm, I know that's impossible at the moment, really I do. Have you spoken to your gp about an early scan? If not, get an appointment for gp on monday and discuss all this, it's important they do what they can for your mental well-being too. After 1st 2 m/cs I've had early scans on other 3 pregnancies to put my mind at rest.

With this pregnancy, I went to A&E on a weekend as was in a panic and told them I was having severe crampings (which I wasn't) just so they'd do bloods and urine tests.

Very natural to be anxious, don't beat yourself up for feeling that way.

Your hcg levels won't be very high yet which is why early pregnancy symptoms won't be that obvious yet.

Agree maybe best to stay away from the internet a bit, try to distract yourself a bit if you can?

How sympathetic is your GP/EPU? I've known people who've had prior mc to be referred for early scans (around 7 weeks) to reassure, might be worth asking?

I agree with dusty about ringing EPU. Tell them you're worries. They are there to offer support and should be able to reassure you. I was equally worried at first because I had no sickness and I had shooting pains in my tummy and groin area. Morning sickness kicked in at 6 weeks and by 7 weeks I was driven crazy by it! The shooting pains were my ligaments stretching but they did scare me.
Anyway I worried every day until I had my 1st scan. I'm now 26 weeks so please don't give up hope. Try to stay positive I know that's such a crazy thing to say but try to relax anyway and remember to talk to people here anytime you're worried xxx

I didn't start being sick until later on, something like 10 wks. Also, I was freezing cold all of the time (still am). Everyone else running round in t-shirts and me wearing a fleece and had a blanket wrapped round me and the heating up full (that was on summer holidays!) So try not to panic.... wish u all the best!

Oh poor you - I know what its like as I was absolutely paranoid when pregnant again after a miscarriage. The worst was that awful moment every time I sat down for a wee (especially as I had several episodes of bleeding although the pregnancy worked out fine in the end.) Constantly testing is a waste of time though- I don't think it is very scientific to keep looking at the line to see if it is getting darker. Even after a missed m/c the tests can show up positive for weeks until the hormone levels have abated to zero.

The only thing that helped me was the realisation that in the normal run of things there is nothing you can really do to either cause or prevent a miscarriage at this stage - so worrying won't make any difference. Also getting hcg tests and even scans done, while reassuring at the time, will only tell you that everything is ok right this very moment - I started worrying again as soon as the scan was done.

However, once you have seen the heartbeat and then once you get past 12 weeks you will feel better - it feels like a lifetime away I know.

Until then why don't you try to replace the negative emotions with positive ones - Instead of rushing to the toilet every few mins knickerchecking tell yourself you will only check when you need the loo - but when you feel like panicking try sending positive messages to the baby instead - about how much you love it and want it to stick in there and keep on growing well.

It might seem a bit silly but it will make you feel better for a little while and it can't be bad to have mummy feeling serene rather than worrying all the time.

Hi Minx, I'm the same. Had early m/c back in June and am now 7 weeks preg. I have absolutely no symptoms-nausea wise, and also having mild cramps. Half expect to find I'm bleeding every time I go to the loo. I'm freeezing too! I have been to EPU for an early scan as I had bleeding, have seen my baby's heartbeat which helped for a couple of days but I'm back to worrying again now. Just hanging in there for the magic 12 wks! I'm just doing my best to focus on healthy eating and getting lots of sleep-and avoiding the internet except Mumsnet of course.

thanks everyone for your kind words, it really is a comfort, I'll try to be positive, I know there's nothing really I can do anyway.

think will try to see Gp on Monday to talk to her about it and try to get 7 weeks scan at EPU, if they're not willing I'll go private.

7 weeks, that's 18 days! quite an ordeal but I'll get through it!

I'd be wary of an early scan if you're a worrier.

I found out I was pregnant after 2 early miscarriages, and paid for an early scan privately. I though I was 7 weeks, and fully expected to see a heartbeat.

We didn't. It was awful. They advised a repeat scan after 10 days, which we decided not to have and instead wait for the 12 week scan.

I'm now 23 weeks pregnant, so I needlessly spent time worrying about the lack of heartbeat.

The first trimester is awful, I completely agree. If you really must have an early scan, hold out as long as you can to avoid the situation I found myself in.

good luck

part of the prob is my cycle has been so messed up I expected af to arrive the day after boxing day, as hadn't really made a concerted effort at "trying" in December, on xmas day had pains and ewcm but dismissed it as period pains. then i tested and got a bfn, tested every 3 days after that until I got a BFP on Tue, was considering going to dr as thought maybe hadn't ov.

Think now I ovd on xmas day day 26 of cycle (had a drunken romp xmas eve ) that must have been the "time".

digital test with conception indicator says 1-2 weeks since conception (thursday) so I'm estimating I'm 4 weesk pg but completely confused!!

llaregub, thanks for your wise words, maybe I will hold out.

minx I'm so sorry you're having a rubbish time at the moment. If it's any consolation everything you are going through is completely normal and understandable. Pg after mc is a rollercoaster of emotions and your anxiety levels are high.

I've had x3 mc in the past 18mths and am now 25wks pg. it's been a loooooong 25wks!!! The first 12wks are a nightmare with constant symptom spotting / fretting but you will get through this and fingers crossed everything will be allright.

Come and join some fellow nutcases knicker checkers on here
we've all been in your situation and the empathy I got from the lovely ladies on this thread definately helped through the first trimester and is still my main source of support now.

I know how you feel. In all I've had 6 mc and 6 successful pg.

The first 12 weeks is absolutely horrific I know.

The only way I managed to get through the last one was to decide that it wasn't going to stick, not get attached, just carry on as if it wasn't there.

He did stick ,however!