Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Telling work?

23 replies

lastboxoftampons · 05/01/2009 16:23

Did you tell at 12 weeks or did you wait longer? Did you tell everyone or just your boss/superviser?

I was planning on telling my boss after our 12 week scan because I'd like to be able to let friends know via FAcebook or similar. But lots of work colleagues are on Facebook as well, and I'm not sure I want EVERYONE to know. How did you handle it?

Thanks!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PavlovtheCat · 05/01/2009 16:26

unfortunately I was put in an awkward position of having to tell my employers and colleagues earlier than 12 weeks, but if it had been my choice it would have been after all my family and friends know.

I would tell everyone you know yourself first, not via facebook. Then when you do put in on facebook it will be when you are ready for those you know less to hear about it.

I found out a friend of mine was expecting from a round robin text, I personally found it quite impersonal.

georgimama · 05/01/2009 16:28

I told my boss at 10 weeks, but he was a friend, we had been trying for a long time, and I was too excited not to. After that it gradually dripped out with other work friends/colleagues so that everyone I knew knew about it by 12 weeks. I had a scan at 10 weeks which showed a very definite baby shape so I was pretty happy for it to be known. My family already knew.

On the other hand my SIL didn't tell her employer until she was 21 weeks, and even then it was only in a formal letter to HR.

georgimama · 05/01/2009 16:29

Obviously my boss and I had not been trying. Just realised poor syntax may not be entirely clear there.

georgiemum · 05/01/2009 16:30

I told my boss at 12 weeks. He was very excited (very much a family man). It was lovely when everyone knew.

wellbalanced · 05/01/2009 16:31

Depends on the type of work you do i guess. I told my boss (im a nanny-treated like family) at 12wk when i told all my friends.
Announce it on facebook at weekend and tell your boss Mon am?

Original poster

lastboxoftampons · 05/01/2009 16:32

Thanks for your responses.

Georgimama LOL! I didn't think there was anything going on with you and your boss, don't worry!

Pavlov Most of the people I'd want to tell personally already know - I wasn't planning on letting close friends know via Facebook.

OP posts:

georgimama · 05/01/2009 16:33

Aaargh!! Georgiemum! Whenever I see your posts I have this weird double take where I think I have suffered alien hand and written something without my brain knowing.

georgiemum · 05/01/2009 16:36

I do that too! Sometimes I really think I wrote it too!

Original poster

lastboxoftampons · 05/01/2009 16:37

Oh, gosh, there's two of you! I did think it was a bit strange that georgimama first said she told her boss at 10 weeks and then at 12!

I'm not at all chummy with my boss and there are people at work that I'd much rather tell sooner than him, but I don't want to risk him finding out from any one - or any other way - but from me. Scan is on Friday and if it's good news I will definitely tell him on Monday, but it's just whether or not I will hold off on telling friends and acquaintances which include work colleagues. So wellbalanced I can't post on Facebook before I tell him.

OP posts:

GYoIsReallyHavingABaby · 05/01/2009 17:56

Hi LBOT

So exciting about the scan coming up!

I had an issue with having some people on FB that I didnt want to know about being PG. I just changed their view of my profile so cant see stuff. Not sure if that will help in your case, depends on how well you know your colleagues.... This person will hopefully never know about the baby (weird, long story).

I work on a team and have team members but decided to only tell boss and people that might notice a decrease in performance.

Eventually told my team members later on as I as expanding and didnt want them to think "she's getting fat"! and left the rest of colleagues kind of guess for themselves.

Personally I found it weird telling people after ages of keeping it secret. Was keen to tell close friends etc but i wasnt bothered by others.

Good luck with the telling and the scan

georgiemum · 06/01/2009 10:58

Actually, thinking back, I fibbed.

I now remember that I told the boss early (10 weeks) as I caught every nasty bug going and I usually don't catch anything (to evil for the bugs). I was in bed on and off for 2 weeks and didn't want him to think I was a wuss!

Hawkmoth · 06/01/2009 12:32

I told my office manager straight away. Not told my boss yet, but I'm sure everyone else in my small office will guess soon enough as I am not going out for 'fresh air breaks' and I have swapped 10 cups of coffee a day for hot chocolate and pints of water!

herbaceous · 06/01/2009 12:51

I'm 15 weeks, and haven't told work yet. Mainly as I haven't officially passed my probation period, and fear they'll find a reason for me not to pass if I let the cat out of the bag.

They're also going to be majorly pissed off, as I only joined in August. Promising to be in it for the long haul. Oops.

But my belly is growing by the day. I can't believe they haven't guessed - I go to elaborate lengths not to drink, kept having time off for scans ('doctors appointments') and sometimes they mention babies and pregnancy in what could be a pointed way. Or could be me imagining it!

Original poster

lastboxoftampons · 06/01/2009 12:55

Herbaceous How long do you have to go before your probation period ends? Good luck!

OP posts:

herbaceous · 06/01/2009 12:57

It was in fact over on 18 December, but my boss - who is something of an arse - hasn't got round to having the official meeting with me. Although he has said I've passed in an email, which I can always wave at the tribubal!

laweaselmys · 06/01/2009 13:05

I was actually on a probation period all the way up until 27 weeks, and I think you have to let them know at 26? I can't remember the exact details, but it was basically that I had to tell them I was pregnant before they decided if they kept me or not - so I just told at 14 weeks, so they could risk assess and it would be easier to get time off for appointments etc.

There was also a whole thing where they were about to sign me onto a course that would finish well into my Maternity Leave and I figured it would be horrible bad faith on my part to let them waste their money like that.

I think I probably would have told by 20 weeks anyway, as I started to get conscious of my bump quite early. (no one else could see it - but I thought they could)

VerityClinch · 06/01/2009 20:55

I'm 13 weeks, told my boss at 5 weeks (!!) - but for selfish reasons, as I work abroad a lot and didn't want to be flying long haul, lugging suitcases around etc. Told HR a few days later, so they wouldn't sack me (was a bit spaced out and hormonal and not really doing any work) for being a cretin/preghead.

Have started to tell a few work colleagues now, but just the ones I like. Had to tell my PA, as she reads all my emails (plus she took delivery of some maternity tights for me today which would have taken a bit of explaining otherwise!)

One of my (male) friends came back to work today for his first day back since Christmas Eve and straight away told me "wow - you've really lost weight over Christmas". You should have seen the look on his face when I told him why this was probably not exactly true...

BikeRunSki · 07/01/2009 10:02

I wasn;t at all well and told me boss, his boss and my "right hand man" at 9 weeks. Just as well, a few hours later I was in hospital with hyperemisis and stayed there for 6 weeks. At least they already knew I was pg, when they had to deal with me being off for several weeks. So my boss told the rest of the team, in order to explain my absence (I told him he could, thought this would be better than speculation!)and by the time I was back at work everyone knew.

BikeRunSki · 07/01/2009 10:04

My sister told work accidentally when she overheard two girls bitching about how much weight she'd put on and yelled across the office "I'm not fat I'm pregnant you ignorant cows!" (She is a drama queen and works in fashion!).

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 07/01/2009 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Salem1 · 09/01/2009 14:58

I couldn't wait to tell my boss but waited until I was 12 weeks. My team had been giving me a hard time.

I don't speak to those team members about my pregnancy but I do with other colleagues. And they are bitter and twisted and finding every snide remark to justify their bitterness over my happiness.

Newb · 09/01/2009 15:16

I told my boss at 13 weeks - first time I threw up massively in the loo at work, resulting in lovely bananey-pukey smell putting them out of action for a few hours, thought it was time I 'fessed up.

ALso told some people via a facebook email, so not everyone knew at once.

Summerisle · 12/01/2009 21:05

Ive told one colleague as she is my closest friend, but no-one else at work. Im only 10 weeks at the moment. I know Im going to have some time off this week because I am utterly exhausted (trying to plan wedding, run consultancy business and work full time too) but am going to make up a 'virus'. Will probably tell all when I've had a scan and know all is well.

Flip