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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

sorry, i know it's been done to death, but shall i find out the sex???

40 replies

thisisyesterday · 26/12/2008 20:55

didn't with the previous 2.
was quite adamant i wasn't going to this time either, but now i am feeling tempted.
i just can't decide! i know there are pros and cons of each way... i am SO indecisive.

maybe I will do it on a poll.

so, answer yes or no and perhaps i'll go with the majority :D

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Original poster

thisisyesterday · 27/12/2008 20:51

also, asked ds1 who is nearly 4 whether he wanted to know or if we should have a surprise and he said a surprise

OP posts:

mummynumnum · 27/12/2008 20:53

You dont get many suprises in life-so I wouldnt find out. My personal choice though!

cece · 27/12/2008 20:56

CoteDAzur · 27/12/2008 21:48

Isn't it just as big a surprise at the 5 month scan, though?

I don't get it. Ultrasound doctor knows if you are having a girl or a boy. He can tell you but you tell him not to because you "don't want to know".

Why?

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 27/12/2008 21:49

ahh but they can't be 100%
i do know people who have been told the wrong sex

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 27/12/2008 21:50

'You dont get many suprises in life-so I wouldnt find out. My personal choice though! '

I must have gotten several peoples' shares of surprises, then.

expatinscotland · 27/12/2008 21:51

there was no mistaking that DS was a boy!

jadey24 · 27/12/2008 22:21

I had to find out what i was having. Had a feeling i was having a girl and at 20 week scan was confrimed.

No way on earth i would of lasted the whole 9 months not knowing.

It was nice to know and i felt i could relate and bond with her that little bit more knowing what she was. And planning was a plus with clothes etc.

Nxt time tho i am liking the idea of a suprize so i can experince it both ends.

fgpl · 28/12/2008 10:01

Hi. I didn't find out with my son as I wanted a surprise, but to be honest when he was born they could have told me I'd had a monkey such was my level of enthusiasm at that point.
This time I was desperate to know and have had 2 scans which both say definately a girl.
Initially was a bit deflated that I had found out,(my husband would tell you I'm never happy) however have kept it to myself and I am now chuffed that I know.
I am afraid to say that I was desperately hoping for a girl and from that point of view I am glad that I found out cos I would have had time to get used to the idea of another boy.
Just to totally confuse things in a way I wish I had waited till the birth. Glad I haven't told anyone else though as it is my secret, which feels nice.

Please excuse unfathomable babble as 33 weeks and sleep deprived.

chandellina · 28/12/2008 13:59

i loved knowing i was having a boy.

gibsongirl · 28/12/2008 14:07

Hi,

I have been recently confronted with this situation myself, so will share my thoughts with you. I currently have 2 boys and we never found out with those - I do think it is half the fun guessing and texting everyone when the baby arrives!

This time around I wanted to find out, just to have the experience of having a pregnancy where i did know... and why not? My DH didn't want to know, so I accepted that...... until we were on our way for the 20 week scan 2 weeks ago and he threw it at me in the car that he would like to know!!!

So, great! In we went and I have to say we had the most matter of fact sonographer going, no smiles, no pleasantries and quite frankly we felt totally hard done by, she obviously wanted to get home as it was 5 o clock!! However, after she had whipped through everything (it took her no longer than 6-7 minutes!!) and this was my 20 week scan which normally takes a good 20 minutes, we asked her and she very nonchanantly said "It looks like a boy".

I totally regret it now as it did not feel special at all like when the baby arrives and I am annoyed with myself (or maybe her!) for not being just pure and simply grateful that everything is ok with the baby.

So, I cant work out whether it was the lady that made me feel like this, or the fact that we shouldn't have asked - or is is that I secretly wanted her to say girl???

Now, 2 weeks on...... I am over the moon that we have what looks like a healthy baby (but still have a niggle in my mind as she did it all so quick!) Am over the fact its not a girl and think 3 boys are cool!!!

And to make it a little better as my husband knows how it made me (and him) feel - he has bought me a voucher as a christmas present to go for a 4d scan, then at least we can have a nice relaxed scan and as we are paying privately I am assuming it will be done by a lady who will show a little more passion!!!

So - after all that waffle (somewhat therapeutic actually) if I was you i wouldn't - its not the same as when the baby is here in your arms and remember the lady who tells you - it doesn't matter to her what your having so it isn't said with any passion at all like when they tell you in the delivery room with baby in your arms. Hope this helps anyway x

fgpl · 28/12/2008 18:23

Hi gibonsgirl. So sorry you were left feeling so pants after your scan. Had pretty similar experience with a sonographer at the 20 week scan. who actually asked us in a very stroppy manner to make up our minds sharpish as she was due to go to lunch. We weren't decided about finding out the sex until that point.
She then just said well, looks like a girl, wiped gel off and chucked us out of room.
Had a 4d scan which was really special and made up for 20 week scan. The guy took ages and made a point of asking how we found the 20 week scan and was there anything in particular we felt worried about. He even made us go for a walk for 20 mins to get better position and scanned for over 40 minutes in end.It was very reassuring. worth every penny.

treacletart · 28/12/2008 18:30

If you want to find out in advance but you're worried it won't be special enough then do what we did 2nd time around and get the sonographer to write it down and seal it in an envelope then go for a posh lunch or to the top of a lovely hill or wherever's special to you and open it with a glass of champagne. First time around ds was a surprise which was lovely but i reckon after labour you don't realy care either way. Doing it this way made it a bit more special I think.

Sesthinks2009willbeagreatyear · 29/12/2008 14:29

Back from scan and all well (piccie posted in case anyone's interested!)
Sonographer didn't even ask us if we wanted to know the sex which was fine. DH had come round (funnily enough after reading this thread, so thank you all!!).
We are happy that there is a healthy baby and in blissful ignorance of the sex!

chaya5738 · 29/12/2008 19:26

We are waiting to find out as we want the surprise.

But the main reason I want to wait is that apparently the husband can tell you the sex of the baby once it is born (not the doctor) and I think that is a lovely way to include him in the birth.

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