for mums2b moving on from the pg after mc thread.....

[Katherine]

I'm hoping Wills and the other mums I spoke to on the Pg after mc thread will join me here (along with anyone else of course) as I really miss chatting to you but no longer feel it is appropriate to post on a mc thread now that I'm almost half way there. However I find the "anyone due..." threads to have mums due at other times than me and I miss my old chats. So come on guys how are you doing now?

I am now 19 weeks and have my major scan on Friday. Baby has been really kicking properly and DH can feel him/her too. Some days are very active and others are very quiet which worries me. I don't remember such eractic activity with my other 2 but hey they are all different. Still struggling with Sciatica and my nose is incredibly dry and sore all the time but otherwise I feel great and am starting to get my energy back - spent the last few days sorting out a neighbours garden.

Had flu a couple of weeks ago which really wiped me out and left me with a terrible cough which totally defeated my pelvic floor muscles so I had to wear towels. Spent most of my time convinced my waters were leaking so I guess I'm still pretty over anxious.

Hope you are all OK.

I'm just veeerrry envious, Pie

Just about to start packing. DD has been drooping around all morning so I'd better pack the calomine lotion. My friend says she doesn't mind if her little one gets it though so we are still going although weather forecast is depressing. Good thing we've got lots of room in the tent!

Our chicks have just hatche though - was afraid we'd miss it so at least the kids are happy.

DH announced he had lost his mobile phone this morning. Grrrr. Apaprently its all my fault! Too late to get another on the insurance so I've been shopping and got my own this afternoon. If ne thinks I'm spending 5 hrs in an old landrover followed by a weeks camping without a phone......
anyway sorted now. Kinda figured I should have one anyway. Probably be too busy to post later so hope everyone has a good week and don't worry about not hearing from me. Byeeeee. (Oh and if anyone can organise some sunshine.......)

I am going to tiptoe in here now, if I may. I had a miscarriage in November, not long after Katherine's, and am now pregnant again. But only six weeks, so - all being well - I will be around here for a while too. Congratulations Ghosty, really pleased for you.

I feel very cautious about thinking about the baby. Every thought is tempered by, 'but it might go wrong again.'

Welcome Hilary. Fingers crossed, its a long hard slog! I've just returned from a lovely weekend (despite numerous tantrums from my 3 year old) but even then when last night I felt awfully sick I still had a panic along the lines of "Oh no I've got food poisening and I'm going to loose the little one".

It was a good weekend and today was glorious. Brighton has a fantastic play area next to the beach, best I've ever seen and we just simply sat there reading books and catching rays with one of us getting up every five minutes to check on dd who was running around having the time of her life. Despite wearing a strange mix of factor 15 and 30 I'm still a little red around the face - never mind. Next time though we must check that there isn't a mini fairground right outside our window. It wasn't the noise, more the fact that we couldn't go in and out of the hotel without dd having at least one ride. Mind you she was very sweet in the mornings. They had covers on over night and when they were removed dd got very excited telling us that they'd had their blankets taken off and were up now ready to play.

Hows the party planning going?

Welcome, Hilary. That feeling "but it might all go wrong again" is a familiar one in these parts, you're in good company on this thread!
Wills, so glad you had a good time in Brighton. I felt a bit sicky and panicky too this weekend, I wonder if it was just the heat. I must admit I welcomed the rain this morning although am hoping there is a Katherine-sized patch of blue sky down on the south coast.
We had a tiring but stonking birthday party for ds1 on Saturday afternoon, really enjoyable. I think at 4 we have just had our last party which can be conceivably used as an excuse to socialise with other parents...but all the children played so well together. Now entering the final countdown to maternity leave starting on Friday!

Marina - me too - countdown that is. Can't wait as I absolutely loathe goodbyes. This week will be full of remembering things I haven't handed over and reminding myself that its not my job to do them anymore. In other words depressing! . I have a leaving party on Wednesday and am really really dreading it. Especially as my boss has cancelled the last three meetings I had with him so am not sure he's even going to notice me going. There's nothing worse than doing a blindingly good job at a) getting a new release out without any hitches and b) handing over to my replacement so that it will go nice and smoothly, and then not being noticed for it because everything has gone so well! Grrrr Roll on next week!

It's been a few days since anyone posted so I thought I'd see how you all are.
Hillary ... welcome ... how many weeks are you??
I think you've all gone on holiday haven't you?
Ho hum ...
Just gone past 10 weeks now ... had an up and down week ... on Monday started actually throwing up (rather than feeling rotten and hugging the toilet with nothing happening) and then on Wednesday and Thursday didn't feel sick at all so convinced myself that bubs had decided to give up ... and then felt rough again on Friday and spent most of the day Saturday chundering for Britain!
I just can't win can I? When I feel sick I just want to curl up and die and when I don't I think that it's all gone pear shaped!
Well, less than two weeks to go and then I'll have the 12 week scan and then I think I will be able to relax a bit!
Pie ... been thinking about you a lot since you posted about your shopping day ... I had no idea that you were wheel chair bound ... somewhere I missed all of that. Why is that? The wheel chair I mean .. not me missing it ... Is it permanent or pg related ... tell me to bog off if I am being too nosey!!!
Hope that you came to conclusion for what you wanted for your birthday....

I had an m/c at 17 weeks and this time around I have been quite concerned. However, one thing I did do was hire a foetal monitor so I could hear the babys heartbeat every day. It is the best thing I could have done and has really saved me an awful lot of worry. I got it from mybump.co.uk.

Ooh ... wiltshire ... that's an idea ... at what stage of pregnancy does it start to work??

Isn't it about 12 weeks you can use those monitors, when the uterus rises out of the pelvis?

Hello Ghosty nice to hear about you throwing up, IYKWIM I'm 25+3 and still the toilet is my constant companion, well evening anyway. And I still feel like something has gone wrong if I don't feel sick. Its enough to drive you crazy

The wheelchair is due to the SPD, which actually seems to be getting worse, as if I thought that was possible!!!! The physio reckons it will be be about 3 months after the birth until I begin to feel 'normal' so not permanent, but long enough!!! What I would really like for my birthday is clothes but as I'll be 31 weeks (I think!) theres not really much point is there?

Welcome Hilary too, as you can probably tell me most of the posts on this thread you may well spend all you pregnancy worrying. But given circumstances anything else would be weird. Though I would still like to say don't worry!!

Hi All. Back safely and still pg (think DH spent all week panicking I would go into labour ). Thanks for thinking about me Marina, the weather was pretty kind actually - we all have healthy tans. Only one night of heavy rain when we were all safely tucked up in our tent and a brief shower when we were on the beach in our swimsuits so we all hid under the towels. Had a fabulous time. The kids loved it. Would really recommend the campsite (North Morte Farm nr Ilfracombe) - only problem was that being on the top of the cliff it was an easy stroll down to the gorgeous beach but was convinced I would end up in labour staggering back up again. Found myself a bit imobile in the tent but friends helped out and I did the non=bending jobs like washing up instead. Night time was a bit un-comfy but no worse than home. Heaven to sink into my own bed last night though. Would say that camping even at 34 weeks is fine though. Anyway better go help DH get the dinner ready so more tomorrow. Glad everyone is well and nothing too exciting has happened in my absence. Oh and wlecome Hilary - I'm alomost there now and although it seems forever away I'm sure you will be before you know it. Can't beleive how quickly this pg has gone.

Good to hear you've had a good week Katherine. I'm off to South Devon on Saturday but am wimping out and have booked a caravan. Since it will only be myself and dh I'm glad. I know what you mean about the nights. DM is absolutely horrified that I'm ever going caravaning - I'll be soooo pregnant and should be at home in luxury etc etc. However "luxury" isn't making me more comfortable and would dearly like to have a week pottering with dh and dd before the arrival of a new baby.

Sorry I haven't been posting - truth is that I found my last week at work very depressing and therefore didn't really have much good to talk about. I know this thread is not only for good etc but leaving work was always going to be hard and only time would resolve things. The main problem with work is that my company have a policy that when a female manager goes on maternity leave they have to give up their job. Yes I've checked, this is legal! They will find me a new one (I hope) when I get back, but I built the teams up from scratch and it was really hard to let it go . Also don't particularly like goodbyes etc, prefer to just disappear. How did yours go Marina?

Another bit of sobering news was the fact that baby is breech. I know that at 33 wks they can still turn however I'm not sure my mw was confident as baby is "very low". Nevertheless I'm still crawling around (STOP SMIRKING!) on all fours and sitting bolt upright on dinning room chairs, but when given this extra space little one simply goes to sleep - never known it to be so inactive . I'm absolutely petrified of a c/s - not the operation itself but the idea coping with a 3 year old, a new baby AND no car leaves me close to tears. I have a wonderful Mum who is also dreadfully needy and rather than help out she would take over. This happened with dd and there were times when I hardly saw my dd. A case of "I'll hold the baby whilst you clean up". I was soooo determined not to let it happen again. I ended up with pnd and my counsellor always felt it had a lot to do with the ease with which I could run away from dd by handing her to dm. Gosh - I'm really going on, sorry, bit like opening a flood gate - you can see why I've not posted I knew I'd go on!

Anyway, spent 4 hours this morning sanding walls and woodwork with dh desperately trying to get on top of finishing the hall. Suspect I've a couple more "marathons" to go before we can get the paint out.
Marina - look away....

I do love painting! I find it really satisfying - I know - MAD.

Marina - you can look back now.

Ghosty I'm sorry about the sickness but I know what you mean about feeling worse when you're not sick! I didn't throw up too often and so would get my "kicks" by bashing my boobs to check they were still sore. I'm glad to say I haven't done that for a while, but I couldn't tell you when it stopped.

Pie - still being sick! That's awful - my thoughts are with you. I've been watching the other threads with you but others always have far better comments than I could give. In terms of clothes however Dorothy Perkins have a sale on. Considering I'm 33 wks I don't really have an excuse, but was feeling low so it was a "what the heck" and well worth every penny! .

Wiltshire + Ghosty. I thought about a monitor too however my concern is that even at 20 weeks a mw had problems finding little one's heart beat even though both of us could feel it kicking. I figured that if they were having problems then I certainly would and that this would just make me more anxious (if I could have got any more anxious). Wiltshire - did you find it easily and every time? I know that Mears wasn't too keen on the them either for exactly the same reason. However possibly they've moved on and the health service round here simply need more money for newer machines.

Hi all, SE London calling...
Glad you had a nice time and good weather Katherine, it has been stormy and quite wet on a couple of occasions in London, so that's great news. You make camping at 34 weeks sound very easy and relaxing...
Wills, I found my last week at work pretty dispiriting too, but for different and less justifiable reasons than you - sorry to hear going off to have a baby means the demise of the team you worked so hard on. Mine will be very much in place when I get back but they have in fact been great, ever since we lost Tom they have been so supportive. I hope they have an easy ride in my absence! I'm waddling back in next week for a lunch and drinks to say goodbye to someone who has worked there 39 years so we will be saying our au revoirs then. I hope you have a great time in S Devon - why is it mums never understand that the biggest secret of a relaxing holiday is almost anywhere where your parents AREN'T. Mine keep inviting us up for a "nice break" before the baby is born and I know they mean well, but...
I had a sobering encounter with the consultant on Tuesday. He is such a card - did the classic High Court Judge routine over the term VBAC ("I am not aware of this...oh, I see, AMERICAN jargon" ) and it will be Pupuce's turn to look away if she is peeping here, because his angle on waterbirth is "if you want to pass the time sitting in a nice warm bath...". I am making him out to be a reactionary old fart, which isn't fair really as he is actually a very nice man and very pro-midwife for an obstetrician! He's also good and has a good senior Reg, so I just need to ignore his wacky sense of humour. But I have to go back again for another scan and appointment at 37 weeks, and how I am wishing I asked him point-blank why. The baby is head down and growing well...I am assuming that this final check is because of my previous history, but yet again I will have to ring the bereavement midwife and pick her brains. Thank goodness I have her...no question is too silly.
My experience with well-qualified professionals failing to find a heartbeat on more than one occasion has made my mind up not to go the home foetal monitoring route. A front-positioned placenta and/or a good covering of maternal chub will make it harder for even an experienced midwife to get a heartbeat straight off up to 20 weeks, apparently. Trying this at home would probably have finished me off...
Ghosty, Pie, sorry to hear about the vomiting I can still end up thundering to the loo if I cough first thing (bad hayfever and not much you can take for it has made me a bit wheezy this year for the first time in my life). Feeling sick is reassuring but the novelty does wear off at 35 weeks.
We did something very nice today although screwing up the courage wasn't easy. We were at the baptism of a friend's baby who was born the month after Tom should have been. We had planned to spend lots of maternity leave and baby time together. We didn't allow the change in my circumstances to put us off staying in close touch, however, and as she had a VERY difficult pregnancy it was very good to meet her little daughter back in February, and rejoice in their good fortune. The christening was lovely but as we have not felt up to going to church for some months my girth attracted a lot of comment, some of it not terribly sensitive. Ho hum.
Have a good week, all. Wills look away - no painting planned down this way although I might chuck a bottle of nail varnish in the direction of my hideous toes and hope some of it hits.

marina, happy maternity leave - LOL at your nail varnish application method.

Ooooh what lovely long posts to read this morning. I really like this thread!
Marina ... your consultant reminded me of my GP when I was pg with DS. He was really old fashioned (wrote out his prescriptions with ink pen then used blotting paper ... had an old mercury blood pressure thingy on his desk etc). He hated midwives though and I only saw one midwife once throughout my pregnancy until I went into labour. He weighed me every visit and tut tutted about my weight gain. Anyway ... he used to listen to DS' heartbeat with an old ear trumpet pushed onto my tummy. I never heard DS' heartbeat until I was in labour with him ...
Wills ... you've been having a bit of a rough old time haven't you? Sorry that having a baby means that your job is finito ... are you sure that is allowed? I guess that if they give you something else with the same money etc they can get away with it but that's not the point is it?
I promise I didn't smirk at the image of you washing the floor etc ... but you do have time for the baby to turn. Don't worry about a c/s if you have to have one ... it might not be as bad as you think ... my friend just had her second and didn't drive for 4 weeks but we all rallied around to go and see her and those with cars big enough picked her up to do stuff. She did do lots of walking (her son is 2) after the first week. She is a Brit in NZ like me so had no family to fall back on. I think the thing is to do what you can to turn the baby but if it doesn't then you will have to prepare yourself for a few weeks ...
Will your DH be able to have some time off to help?
Pie ... Poor poor you! SPD .... is that Symphesis Pubis Dysfunction (sp?) ... I had that but not nearly so bad as you ... no wheelchairs or anything but I do remember the agony of turning over in bed at night and that the only time it didn't hurt was when I was not moving. I can't even begin to imagine your pain if it is so bad you can't walk!! Poor you ........ {{{{{}}}}}
My DH is being an angel at the moment ... I never really talk about him that much but I just wanted to tell you how lovely he is. He had to go away for a conference at the weekend and he came back a day early because I felt so ill ... I didn't ask him to - in fact I told him he had to stay there ... but he flew home anyway! On Sunday morning he got up with DS and told me to go back to sleep. When I woke up again it was 10.30am ... wow ... I can't remember the last time I slept that long ... DH and DS spent the time building and painting a house out of the box that our telly came in ...
I didn't do anything all day ... bliss ... DH played with DS in the garden all afternoon ... cooked dinner for all of us ... bathed DS and put him to bed ...
I knew there was a reason that I married him for

Hi again everyone. Wills sounds rotten at work - bet its really taken the edge of things for you. I'm so sorry but try to think about what you'll be doing instead (beyond the pushing and shoving that it! ). DH is planning to clear out our loft next weekend. Not quite DIY but I'm dreading it. He also keeps going on about remortgaging the house so we can get the extension built. Can't understand my lack of interest at the moment......

I undertook a lot of boob bashing too. Probably why they are such a strange shape now! I agree with the comments about the HB moniters as well. I think these things are great as long as they tell you what you want to know but imagine the panic if they don't.

Marina I wouldn't say that camping at 34 weeks was easy but it was certainly no harder than being at home on my own would have been and it was lovely to spend that time as a family. Now planning our next trip. Dumfrieshire this time I think. Last week of August..... baby permitting.

Well I had a horrible night last night. Was really looking forward to my comfy bed again but as soon as I settled down baby started pushing and I mean REALLY pushing. This went on all night with really strong braxton hicks and I was convinced I was going into labour. So first thing this morning I've dug out the baby things and put them in the wash. Only 10 days to go to an allowable homebirth but decided I should get bags ready just in case. I really felt like it was going to happen last night. Guess its time to start nesting a bit.

Just peeping on this thread and just want to say good luck everyone

Marina, hope you enjoy your leave - go on, go for a pedicure, you deserve it.

x E

Have just posted on the "first day of maternity leave" thread but really want to expand here. As I guessed, first day off and already work is gone from memory! No its not nice what they have done however I've got far bigger and better things to be getting on with so will press the pause button on that one and leave it until I have to return.

What a day! DD couldn't cope with nursery this morning. I suspect its the fact that I took her instead of Nana and she doesn't like/cope with change very well. Instead we had a wonderful day. She came with me to B&Q followed by Sainsburys and was on remarkably good behaviour so the afternoon was spent at the zoo. Both of us had a wonderful day but I'm not sure where the resting bit comes in?

Katherine - planning more camping already - wow I'm suitably impressed but fairly convinced I couldn't keep up. I too haven't prepared for this little one at all. Not planning to do anything for at least another fortnight - this week its preparing for hols, next its having them! Really looking forward to next week, hope it doesn't rain but if it does - what the heck! Strong Braxton hicks huh? Getting exciting!

Katherine. Quick question... I strongly distrust English weather - as an experienced camper with limited space, what did you pack to keep your children entertained in the tent should the weather have turned bad? DD is 3 and I know plenty of things but if the whole week is crap I think dd and dh will very quickly be at each other's throats!

Ghosty - trying like mad to concentrate on forth coming holiday, little one will either turn or not. If by 36 weeks it hasn't then go full blast worry. Your dh sounds lovely!

Hi Wills, have to admit we just crossed our fingers about the weather. If it had been bad we'd have gone mad in the tent and probably looked for some sort of all-weather day out instead. Books always go down well and a few games but we try to keep toys to a minimum otherwise it gets too chaotic. What about locating the local swimming pool (or swimming centre, you know the ones with the slides etc) as that always goes down well with our two. Also aquarium etc. Anyway will cross my fingers for you.

Other thing is to just pack waterproofs. Unless weather is totally terrible kids don't seem to mind it. Splashing about in wellies on the beach is great fun and beaches are often quieter then. Think British - think waterproofs!

OK - pretty much the same ideas. We're actually going to a posh site that has an indoor pool - just that I could imagine that the rest of the campsite would have the same idea o:. Thanks though

DD now has chickenpox. She's not poorly but was meant to be going on her nursery school trip tomorrow. Not looking forward to telling her
Oh and the dog has got the runs. Not a good day really.

Katherine - Ugh!

Well day 2 of maternity leave and absolutely love being around my dd all the time. Was worried I wouldn't be able to cope but really really enjoying myself .

This isn't a downer but I did want to know - is anyone else starting to dread nights? I can't find a single comfortable position and wake every hour to hour and a half needing the loo. I'm soooo shattered that I'm actually looking forward to little one arriving even knowing that it will mean even less sleep and very sore breasts. Can't believe I typed that! !

Still as I said above time with dd is more than making up for it and dh is being a real d at the moment.

Good luck to all on this thread

Wills ... glad that you are having a lovely time! I loved Mat leave but won't have that this time round as I am at home already!!!
Katherine ... I can't believe that you are so close! Where has all the time gone??? Hope you manage to get some rest in the next few weeks ...
Yep, Wills ... my DH is lovely except we had a row last night so we are not really talking!! Bit of me and a bit of him ... both to blame but he is crosser with me than I am with him ...
Ho hum ... never mind ... we have these spats sometimes and it always turns out ok in the end ...