I think a good compromise would be to register with the community m/w, have the booking in appointment and say you're undecided about where to birth etc.
Hire a doula to provide you with support throughout the pg, as well as your family of course and s/he could accompany you to any AN appts, helping you deal with any 'bossiness'.
The scans etc are there if you wish to have them, at least you'd be in the system should you change your mind. Alternatively, if you can afford it, you could hire an independent m/w.
At any point during your AN care you can refuse individual aspects, as is your right.
I have personally chosen not to have any testing apart from urine & bp. They're non-invasive and anything which arises from these tests has to have my consent to progress further such as GTT etc.
I have a doula for AN care too, but not for the birth.
The m/w's will attend a HWB but will stay in the background and allow my Dh and I to birth the child together.
They do a quick check at my request to see if I'm in established labour and to listen to the babies h/b, then they don't bother me again, but quietly observe my behaviour for signs to prepare for the crowning.
I wouldn't want to free-birth, this is as close as I get.
It's been the same for 2 previous HWB's and it's the same team of m/w's for this one in 9 weeks or so.
They know the drill and that I am extremely unwilling to transfer to hospital.
However, if at anytime my life or my child's is at risk they would explain the how's and why's.
How would I know if something wasn't right?
Incidentally, my m/w for the last 2 pg's at AN clinic wasn't the most amiable person and I did actually consider writing on my birth plan that she was not to attend the births, but she was on holiday each time.
Social services would only be involved AN if you were at risk of violence, drugs/alcohol abuse etc. Even then, someone would have to alert them.
I second the recommendation that you consider an infant resuss course, just in case.