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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

First pregnancy and feeling a little freaked

17 replies

hippyme · 03/12/2008 19:24

Feels strange to be on this website...!

I found out this morning that I am pregnant for the first time. Feeling a bit freaked as me and partner thought it would take ages to get pregnant (It took 1 month to be precise!)

I Have always wanted to have children and have been feeling very broody recently. I always thought how nice it must be to be pregnant but now I feel like I need to put the brakes on as it now all seems quite scary - is this a normal reaction? The enormity of having a baby has just smacked me in the face

Anyone else feel/felt the same with their first pregnancy?

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nickytwotimes · 03/12/2008 19:27

Congratulations!

Becoming pregnant is always a shock and brings a whole host of emotions.

You have 9 mths to get used to the idea of a baby. Thankfully!

You will manage fine - I am an utter control freak and neurotic wierdo, but I have made a pretty good Mummy so far.

fymandbean · 03/12/2008 19:29

yes - it's always scary as you realise there aren't any brakes!!

MavYourselfAMerryLittleXmas · 03/12/2008 19:30

I (and dh) were the same as you, wanted a baby, felt ready etc secretly thinking it might take a while and 2 months later it was a done deal. We were both a bit freaked out but as nickytwotimes says you do have 9 months and you slowly become more and more used to the idea

hippyme · 03/12/2008 19:30

Thanks nickytwotimes,

I am really shocked! Still not sure I believe it! Except for the sore boobs, feeling sick and dizziness! I guess i need to get my head around the idea...

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Cosmogirl · 03/12/2008 19:38

Hi and congrats. It is totally normal to feel this way I think. I was similar to you, EXTREMELY broody, fell first month and was a bit like 'oh my God, this has happened too quickly'....Then week 6 and the sickness kicked in.....Had really bad sickness (hyperemesis to be exact) so lost weight and generally felt like death. I hope you don't get this - it is quite rare. Now I am 23 weeks and still nauseous but excited about meeting the little one in a few months. You will get your head around it, just give it time.

Rozebud · 03/12/2008 20:04

Hello, and congrats.

I found out last night I am pregnant with no 1. How many weeks are you? I think I am 4.

I was really happy to start with but am getting a bit nervous - haven't told DP yet.

Am sure it takes a bit of getting used to. Right now, I go from feeling really pleased, emotional, cross that my DP is out and that I can't tell him, frightened about telling him (like you, it happened sooner than I'd thought), worrying re telling work.

Think the main thing is to try and relax and see this as a big opportunity to pamper oneself

Lyrebird · 03/12/2008 20:53

Congratulations! My dh and I were TTC for 5y and are now 7w pg. Even though we were clearly trying (and IUI was successful in the end), it still freaked us out a little when it happened and we feel woefully underprepared! We're putting it down to a "that's a normal phase you go through" and hope that's the right assumption

Bumpsadaisie · 03/12/2008 20:53

I think what you're feeling is totally normal and to be expected - and I'm sure you'll go through the whole gamut of feelings over the next 9 months.

I'm 14 weeks now and so starting to feel much more energetic and well than I did in the first trimester. So at the moment I am really really positive about the pregnancy - loving my little bump, talking to the baby in my head, imagining him/her - sort of bonding already!

However this is quite a new departure - when I first found out I was a mixture of feeling thrilled and excited, freaked out, disbelieving. I also had a feeling of "oh, actually, maybe I am not that bothered about a baby after all!" (but when I did a second preg test and it was negative because I did it too late in the day, and I had a few hours of thinking that I wasn't pregnant after all, I sobbed for two hours solid, so realised that actually I was pretty bothered!)

The next emotional "stage" was the nightmare that was weeks 6 to 11 - horrendous morning sickness 20 times a day, feeling dreadful, rather like I had a stomach upset, the flu, a hangover and terrible PMT all at the same time (it's due to those lovely preg hormones that soar through the roof in the first trimester!) For the vast majority of this period I felt depressed, miserable, fed up, pissed off with the baby for making me so ill, sick to death of being pregnant and at the worst times I actually thought "you know if I have a miscarriage I won't be bothered - at least an end to this nightmare!" My relationship with DH, although solid at bottom, went through the most challenging time ever - I could barely stand him anywhere near me, my libido disappeared, he had to do all the household stuff and care for me as I was so ill, so he was exhausted, lonely, run down and felt his wife had vanished for ever, I felt terrible because of it, and so on etc. That was also really miserable and felt like our whole world had suddenly been turned upside down in a few short weeks.

However, as you get to the second trimester, your hormones decrease and you start feeling back to normal again! DH and I are dead happy that things are good again and that we "survived" pretty well. In my current "blooming" state, though, the thought that I could ever have had thoughts of half-hoping for a miscarriage make me well up with sadness, and I feel full of excitement about being preggers, sexy and round and womanly, and I love our baby to death already! The downside of all this love is the agony of thinking that something might go wrong - what will my triple blood test reveal? Will all be OK at the 20 week scan? And so on ad infinitum ....

And all that in only 14 weeks - I am sure there'll be plenty more highs and lows along the way! No wonder I feel I've travelled a million miles since conceiving in early Sept! And there are still 26 weeks to go!

Please, don't worry about any of your negative feelings about pregnancy - it IS a massive thing to happen to you and it's right that it makes you experience a whole range of feelings about it. Whatever you feel at one moment, there is more than likely a whole new perspective and a whole new set of feelings just around the corner ... Just treat it as if you've just stepped onto a rollercoaster and, well, just "expect" that the next 9 months are going to be a rather hair-raising but exhilarating set of ups and downs!

Best of luck for a happy and healthy pregnancy
Bumps x

hippyme · 03/12/2008 21:17

Thanks for all your words, I feel much better knowing that I'm not the only one feeling a bit weirded out by the whole thing. And I didn't even stop to think about how hormonal I actually am! (I nearly cried when i saw all the responses!)

Rollercoaster here I come... (bumpadaisie!)

P.S Rosebud,

I think I am 5 weeks? I'm yet to go and get it all this confirmed at the doctors. How many tests have you done? I'm on two with a another 2 waiting for me to need to pee again!

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hester · 03/12/2008 21:21

Completely normal! I tried to get pg for SIX YEARS then, when it finally happened, all I could think was, "Oh NO! I'm not ready!"

Huge congratulations; I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy. You are about to have the ride of your life

kumari · 03/12/2008 21:47

Congratulations - do try and enjoy your pregnancy as it may not seem like it now but it does go by so quickly. Feeling scared and nervous is just so normal...Good Luck

Bumpsadaisie · 03/12/2008 22:07

Hippyme ...

Crying at posts on Mumsnet - a classic sign of a hormonal preggers lady!

Join the club!

Good luck
Bumps x

Zorra · 04/12/2008 08:33

Me too - first one and not what you'd call planned... Have been veering wildly through all emotions from 'OMG it's a disaster' to being th emost excited ever. Like you DP and I have been feeling broody for ages, but it's just such a shock to the system! I'm about 5 weeks now (I think) and every day is a bit more towards the excited phase - though this may change when the ms kicks in ;)

bokki · 04/12/2008 23:06

well done! my first pregnancy was a surprise and i was actually really cross about it for a good while, i had some super cool stuff planned for the first time in years, like a staples to naples car rally, a friends wedding in vegas and a trip to cuba, so was really pissed about it all! esp when i realised if i wanted to be driving a cheap car through europe with my gay bf's i would actually be 8 months pregnant - not ideal. so to be gutted is understandable, its a massive life change - even if you plan it its still a shock when its actually happening. but then i saw my beautiful little boy balancing on his head doing stunts and pedalling on my 12 wk scan and was just SO smitten and excited about it. ps dont go to cuba when youre pregnant - no mojitos and tours conducted in claptrap vans by homicidal maniacs didnt really chill me out, neither did breaking a hammock when my q large bf decided to join me, was convinced id lost baby bean, was awful!

littleboyblue · 04/12/2008 23:10

Congratulations
When I fell pg with ds I was so happy but also really scared and overwhelmed. It's all completely normal.
Ds is now 16m and I'm 30wks pg with ds2 and that's not really hit home yet.
Good luck with it all. X

Rozebud · 04/12/2008 23:12

Hi hippyme,

I have done 3. I told my boyfriend last night I am pregnant and think he felt a bit left out that i hadn't told him i was going to take a test - so we're going to do another one soon.

he's happy but rather freaking out - hope he gets his head round it soon

lastboxoftampons · 05/12/2008 11:55

I think many of us are in the same boat, hippy I first got pg in January on the first try and was really overwhelmed. We didn't expect it to happen so quickly at all! Unfortunately we miscarried and it's taken us 8 months to get pg again. I realize it's not that long in the grand scheme of things, but when you're TTC it's a loooooong time! And would you believe shortly after my BFP I was having the same "I'm not ready" feelings all over again! It's such a weird feeling to be so entirely happy and excited, and still have a feeling of hesitation and doubt. But like the others said, I'm sure it's completely normal. Besides making the decision to change your life and actually being successful at it, your hormones are raging and making you much more sensitive to your feelings.

What a wonderful post by Bumps It really put everything in perspective, so thank you!

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