Just returned to work after 1 year M/L and pregnant again! Totally dreading telling work- any advice?

[ilikeyoursleeves]

I was off with DS for 13 months and only went back at the start of November. I just found out this week that I am PG again (ultra surprise as DS was via IVF) and I am crapping myself at the prospect of telling work. I am only 5 weeks PG so won't be saying anything until at least after the New Year but I just think they will be seriously pissed off. Perhaps not to my face but I'm sure things will be said behind closed doors.

My boss is going off on M/L for a year in 2 weeks time too and is expecting me to do loads of things to cover her on her year off but if all goes to plan I'll only be at work for another 6 months!

If you have been in a similar situation, how did you handle it?

They should be delighted for you, especially as it was difficult for you the last time. In saying that, I do understand your reluctance to tell them. I was asked if my second baby was planned presumably because I had recently been promoted.

I found out I was pregnant just before the end of my ML. I had had PND as well and the news didn't help my mental health so the doctor signed me off work.

I got DH to call work and tell them I wouldn't be back on the expected day and that I was pregnant . I have no idea how they took it, but they have been very nice about it all. I never made it back to work between one ML and the other.

Do they know that your DS was IVF? If so they can't really be cross with you for getting pregnant when you didn't think it was possible!

Congratulations My advice is just to stop worrying. They'll cope perfectly well without you. Just enjoy your good news and look forward to another mat leave. If people aren't happy for you, thats just mean spiritedness. What you decide to do in your personal life has nothing to do with where you work. I've had guilt trips about similar stuff before but usually found most people were just happy for me. Who cares about comments behind your back, they're never as bad as you imagine them to be anyway.I've just gone back to work in the last few months and if I'm pg again in the next few months this time I'll have no qualms about breaking the news. Life is too short.

Yes they all know DS was from IVF so I know they will probably be surprised and hopefully pleased that it's happened naturally for us! Perhaps it's my own insecurities and worry for going off again so soon, that they might think I'm a total slacker! I've just seen other folk at my work roll their eyes when they heard that a woman was going off again not long after her first born.

Oh well, as you say, life's too short and babies are far more important!

No advice, just hope all goes well with this pregnancy for you. Although it just took me a while to conceive first time round I was very surprised by how fast it happened this time - I had been back at work for a couple of months but will have a similar age gap to you I think.

Also hope your colleagues are nice enough to pleased for you.

Babies are important - congratulations. You have rights here so it does not matter what they say behind closed doors. Hopefully they will be pleased for you.

Exactly the same happened to me and I was also dreading telling work. In fact they were delighted, very supportive and not surprised, it seems to happen more commonly than you'd think. It did feel weird though going back to work for only six months and I couldn't get into the swing of things. Ignore anyone who dares roll their eyes, none of their business. Good luck.

I found out I was pregnant when DD was only 4 months old! (obviously still on ML). The thing that bothered me most about having them so close together was the whole work problem. I decided honesty was the best policy, so when I went to have my discussion about part time working, I dropped the clanger that I was pg again!

Work were actually very good, and I ended up doing 4 months inbetween DD and DS, and am now back at work for the same company post ML for DS.

I'm sure there probably were alot of people talking about it, but I just made a joke out of the situation if anybody comented about it.

I know exactly what you mean. I was back at work for 5 months before discovering I was pregnant and I felt bad about telling work even then. I will have been back for just under a year when i go off on ML again and I know that I have every right to do it and work have been fine about it but I still feel a bit guilty. I think its because I know that people will have to cover for me whilst I am off and there will obviously be the people who will make bitchy comments. No one likes to feel like they are taking liberties. Try to focus on the happy event and helping with making arrangement for when you will be off. I find the people making bitchy comments are the ones who are jealous that you are getting the time off. In my experience it is most often older women who didnt actually work at all when they had children but still dont like to see someone taking advantage of something they didnt need!!!!

Congratulations! And no good advice, but plenty of sympathy!
I'm dreading telling work too, not because I've only just come back from ml, but because the class I teach have had a really unstable time and everyone keeps saying how the stability they have now (ie me!) is really helping them...also I've just got myself involved in quite a major project which I won't be able to see to completion. I'm quite gutted about that myself as I'm quite excited by it.
My first midwife appointment is on Wednesday so I either need to make up a good excuse or come clean...

Good luck! I'm sure it won't be as bad as you (and hopefully I) think!