SURPRISED TO BE PREGNANT AT 43

[Vinbim]

I've recently discovered that I'm pregnant for the fourth time at 43. This was not planned and a complete shock. I've been through a tough time with my husband deciding what to do for the best, and after having all the tests have discovered that the baby is healthy and so now want to try and embrace it all. However, my age bothers me hugely. All of my friends have finished having children now and I feel as though I'm going to be be so much older than all the other mums. Is there anyone out there in a similar position? My baby will be due at the end of May. My other children are 10, 8 and 5. I'd love to hear from you and how you feel. All the best Vinbim

Oh congratulations! Sorry, haven't got much else to add, other than I really don't think 43 is that old to have a baby these days. There were a couple of mums in their forties at my mother & baby group when I went with DD.

So exciting! I bet your kids are excited - and they are old enough to actually help a bit too!

Hi I'm 44,and have DS(12) DD1(4) and DD2(2).

I do feel alot older than the other mums in my DD's "baby group",but I'm definitely more laidback and wiser

Congratulations! Enjoy.Its harder in some waysie.sleep deprivation etc. but also seems more rewarding and precious later in life IMO.

There's someone on my PN thread here who had her 2nd at 46 so you're certainly not alone. I also have a RL frind who had a surprise second baby at 44, 8 years after her first. I think it's so common to have babies in your 40's now - I had my first dc at 26 and am still the youngest of all my friends with the same age dcs.

Congratulations!

Congratulations No practical advise though

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Hope you're feeling well. I had a baby at 43 after a 10 year gap and have been surprised at how many new friends I've made. You'd be surprised at how many of us there are out there!

Please come and join some other older mums here

Oh, and I enjoyed having a 'late' baby so much that I'm having another one!

Hi Vinbim
I'm 42 with 10 year old DS and was also rather surprised (that's an understatement) to find myself pregnant, dd mid April. It has taken me a while to adjust to the idea!

I have lots of great friends with school age kids, but don't know anyone who is pregnant - and it is rather isolating in some ways.

I have only just discovered mumsnet but can already tell that it's going to offer a lot of moral support. It's good to know that we are not the only one's dealing with these concerns.

On the plus side, I know a several mums who didn't have kids till their 40s and they seem to have coped fine - so I think the solution will be not to dwell on it, but just to get on with it! (Remind me of that in 6 months time!!!)

congrats i dont think that age should be an issue. you will have more experience how exciting

I am younger than you but my DH will be 43 when our first child is born. Neither of us have any concerns about age - even though his friends too are opast their babyrearing age. These days, I don't think many people will bat an eyelid at your age...so embrace away and enjoy! Besides, people like me will be desperate to learn from yoiur experience!

I was 40 when I found out I was pregnant my dd is 18mths now my eldest will be 18 after xmas I also have a 15yr old and 14yr old. Tbh I think Im more laid back with this one .Congratulations to you

Congratulations!
Not sure where you live but here in South London 43 is not really old at all to be pregnant

Congratulations

I have an 8 year old, 6 year old and 5 month old. Ds3 was planned though and having a baby later on has lots of benefits. I am definitely more laid back and it is easier not having a toddler in the house at the same time as baby!! But I just feel so lucky to have him, he is my precious last born !!

What do your other 3 think?

Congratulations! I wouldn't worry about age gap with other new mums - I'm 31 and I've got two really good friends who are 45 and 46. It's just a chance to get to know some different people.

hi Deb. precious last born is so true.

vinbim, my dd is also 5 months old and definately my precious last born. I also have 3 other children (9, 7 & 5) so similar to yours, and they love having a baby, especially the eldest. They all sing to her, jump and pull funny faces and make her laugh. I'm enjoying having this baby so much, especially because of how much my other children are enjoying her. It is a total delight.

I really hope your other children enjoy their new sibling too. I only gave a fleeting thought to the negatives (sleep deprivation etc) and tbh they are totally insignificant compared to the huge number of pluses our new baby has brought to all 5 of us.

Good luck.

I'm sure you'll meet loads of new people & your age won't be an issue (I'm 38 btw)

Congratulations Vinbim on being so fertile!

I'm 43 and am expecting my second, after 8 years trying to have my first, dd born 07 - so I was 42 then and am now a whole year older. DH is 52. Like JLH69 says - that doesn't feel too strange in my bit of south London - and, let's face it, no-one turns a hair anywhere if the father is 43 - it's just us women that are made to feel old. However I do often find myself making self-deprecating remarks about my age, and bringing it up needlessly when really no-one in my baby group gives a toss. So it shows I am self-conscious - I really should stop doing that!

I just feel lucky that I got freakin' IVF to work for me at the age of 41 and 42. I feel bloody proud of myself. All my contemporaries have got older kids - like you - but I've made some really good new friends. Having babies is the great leveller - age is of no consequence when you have that in common.

Good luck with your new baby,

Poppy

Found out I'm pregnant to my partner of 3 and a half yrs it was not planned and I'm in total shock I have not told him yet as we have been on a break so shocked and scared. I have 3 grown up children and was hoping to have to time to enjoy my life. I feel awful for wanting an abortion as it's very early days as I'm only 6 weeks pregnant and think it would be too much with already having a 16 yr old who is disabled and it's very hard for me. Please help. Lynsey