Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

When did you tell your DC you were pregnant?

20 replies

Astrophe · 13/11/2008 21:45

Mine are 4.5 and 2.5

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

whomovedmychocolate · 13/11/2008 21:51

Well I told DD when I found out but she was only one and a bit so she just ignored me. If they are old enough to go to the scan that may be a good way of telling them.

Original poster

Astrophe · 13/11/2008 21:54

It seems sensible to wait, but then DD (4.5) would be totally thrilled, and if I did MC, God forbid, I think she would actually deal ok with it - she talks a lot about things, is very articulate, so would be able to express saddness etc. Hmmmm, will have to think further...

OP posts:

sorkycake · 13/11/2008 22:00

We waited this time dc's 6.5, 4.5 and 1.5 until the 20 week scan and found out the sex. Then we told them.

I couldn't bear the thought of "when will the baby come?" from 12 weeks onwards.

Also, there have been no debates about who wants a brother, who wants a sister.
We're having a baby and she's a girl.

It's gone down smoothly so far

Congratulations!!

LoolaBoys · 13/11/2008 22:01

I told DS1 straight away. He was only 3.5, but I was telling others nad didn't think it fair to tell them and not him.

It did make the pg long for him, but I also feel if I had been unfortunate to mc I would have wanted him to understand why I was sad.

RomanCandleQueen · 13/11/2008 22:03

We told DS1 straight away (he was about 2.4). He helped us tell the rest of the family!

BettySwollux · 13/11/2008 22:07

I told DS1(9 at the time)the day I found out. I was helping out at his school and told him at lunchtime. He was so excited, that before I had time to say 'keep it to yourself for now', he went tearing across the yard, screaming, 'Hey, X, my mams having a baby, Im gonna be a big brother!!!'
Cue the entire playground screeching to a halt and turning to look at me, wandering up 1 by 1 asking, 'miss, are you having a baby?'
Ad infinitum.

Original poster

Astrophe · 13/11/2008 22:09

lol Betty

Loola, yes, I would want DD to know why I was sad as well - and, most likely, why I am vomiting!

OP posts:

Nemowith3and1tobe · 13/11/2008 22:15

we have a 5,nearly 3 and nearly 2 yr old. Ds guessed by me throwing up[must have brought back fond memories] about 3 weeks ago and I am only 10+4weeks neither of the dds are aware yet and probably wont be until I make a point of introducing the idea of a baby.

Original poster

Astrophe · 14/11/2008 09:14

bump

OP posts:

scotlass · 14/11/2008 10:19

I didn't tell my 9yr old DD about any of my previous 3 pg's and mc them before 12wks so was glad I hadn't. Although I was devastated each time it's amazing as a mother how you can pull yourself together in front of your child and she made some of my darkest moments seem so much less so - it made me appreciate her all the more. I wouldn't have had the strength at the time to deal with her sadness too and the questioning about why it had happened when I didn't know.

Thi pg we told her at 16wks after a reassurance scan - my belly is getting bigger and she has a habit of launching herself across me. We'd told our parents and close friends and my DH hated the thought that the person most affected by it would be the last to know. Now the entire world knows cos she is broadcasting it to the whole world. I still feel a bit uncomfortable and would probably have preferred to wait to 20wks but in a way it's forced me into accepting I'm still pg and we have had a conversation about some babies not making it.

Original poster

Astrophe · 14/11/2008 10:25

scotlas, thanks for sharing that, what a hard time you have had Best wishes for your new little one

OP posts:

scotlass · 14/11/2008 10:30

Thanks astrophe, I guess I just urge a bit of caution because sadly it doesn't always go well and you need to think about your ability to cope with your DC's feelings as well as your own. We just kept it to mummy's not feeling well . However it's even sweeter this time round and we would have to tell her the truth this time.

laweaselmys · 14/11/2008 10:54

I would be aware of the fact that at 4 they have no real concept of where babies come from. You may have to be persistent in explaining that it will be a while before the baby arrives and when they do that they won't be able to play with them straight away!

Original poster

Astrophe · 14/11/2008 10:57

law - DD has some rather detailed knowledge about the bird and bees and likes to chat about it loudly at inoportune times But yes, point taken, it will be a long 8 months for her. We do have lots of friends who are in various stages of pg, and who have had babies recently, so that should help, whenever we decide to tell them.

OP posts:

laweaselmys · 14/11/2008 11:47

oh definately! lol, no this is just my experience of being at work with reception kids and obviously pregnant. I think they find it quite confusing, but obviously I am not in a position to explain in any detail since they are not my DC.

It is very sweet though. They rather like trying to 'listen' to the baby even though I have tried to explain that she doesn't make noises yet...

witchandchips · 14/11/2008 11:53

We told my ds (then just 3) as soon as we knew. We simply said that i was trying to grow a baby in my tummy. Thought that it was the best way of getting him used to it early without raising his hopes too much just in case anything went wrong

bythepowerofgreyskull · 14/11/2008 11:55

when I was pregnant with DS2 we just always talked about it openly for ages then when my tummy was growing we talked about the baby being in my tummy.
BUT DS1 was 2 and he didn't really get it.

CookieMonster2 · 14/11/2008 12:20

I was hoping to leave it until as late as possible e.g. a couple of months before the baby is due. Does this sound unreasonable? I just want to avoid the 'when will the baby be here' questions that I am sure we will get everyday once we have told dd. Having said that, I am starting to look massive, and I'm also looking forward to talking to her about it, so maybe I'll just give in and tell her after the 20 week scan.

BabyBaby123 · 14/11/2008 12:22

mine have known from the beginning, my youngest is similiar age to your eldest - i had to tell them as had my head down the toilet every morning! and wanted to make sure they were jumping about all over me

mummypingu · 14/11/2008 13:16

i had to tell ds1 (just 4 at the time) when i was about 7wks pregnant because i was so ill and miserable and not rolling around in the garden with him all summer. i didn't want to jinx anything because of a previous m/c but i couldn't hide the fact i was miserable.

i thought there would be endless questions but to be honest he rarely comments (apart from lately...wow mummy your tummy is really big!)

he hasn't asked anything since he suggested that the baby comes out of your belly button and i enlightened him.

also he likes to blow raspberries on my tummy which his 20mth old brother copies which is really really cute

Flip