Stress in Pregnancy

[sillyworrywort]

How do you cope with stress in pregnancy? I learnt last night that my husbands company is closing. We have a massive mortgage for a house I hate and I am now the sole bread winner. I have a two year old and am 8 or 9 weeks pregnant with my second so either facing no income next year (not possible) or a 12 week maternity leave (too awful to contemplate). I had a bit of bleeding earlier on in the pregnancy which started again today. Can stress bring on miscarriage? Oh - I had dreadful PND with my first child too and can see that happening all over again. Any tips for getting through this without harming myself or my unborn baby? I can't even eat at the moment.

Silly - you need to take it as easy as you can, but I am sure that stress would not cause harm to your baby.

When I was pg with DD I had serious work issues (grievence, discrimination level) and then my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was very stressed and had lengthy conversations with my midwife about this as I was worried I could harm my unborn child.

She said that in the womb babies are very protected and can withstand an enormous amount of both emotional and physical trauma.

So, while I am sure your unborn baby will be fine, you need to keep yourself as stressfree as possible so that you do not become ill yourself.

Will your DH be able to get more work?

Thank you - and sorry you had such a dreadful time in your pregnancy too. My husband works in housebuilding so not holding out much hope for a new job being just around the corner! Hopefully his skills are "transferable" as they say (horrible word) but not looking great. My boss is being a total rock - just wish I could stop cyring!

Hi. Am so sorry to hear of the time you're having. DH was made redundant just after I went on early maternity leave due to issues at work realted to discrimination against me due to pregnancy. He creid an awful lot that 1st night and I let him but the next day I got him up as normal and got him onto the web to search for and apply for jobs. We had 1 months salary to see us through then nothing so time was of the essence. My father then told us that he was selling the flat (it was his!) so we had to find somewhere else to live without husband having a job. It was one of the worst times of my life with a baby on the way and hubbie needidng me to almost bully him into pulling himself together (not suggetsting your dh is like that at all) He did find a job and my brother helped us out as he was looking for a place so we all moved in together as we found a fab house with an annex. Looking back it was incredibly stressful but what got us through it was determination, clear headedness and actually no choice but to take the first job that came along. In fact, looking back, it was a blessing as dh hated the job he was doing but was worried about trying something new with a baby on the way. He became a contractor and has loved work ever since. You will find a way, keep talking to each other and don't be afraid to ask for help from friends/relatives.

dh got blown up when i was 11 weeks pg with ds1. he was given a 20% chance of survival, but had brain surgery and pulled through. the whole time i wasn't sure whether i was more worried about losing dh or having a miscarriage and losing the baby (dd1 was 15 months). i spent a week in a motel next door to the hospital where he had his brain surgery, whilst my dd stayed two hours away with a childminder (no children were allowed on the neuro ward).
concentrate on looking after yourself (eating, sleeping etc) and try to relax. there is such a long time to go before mat leave, dh could have another job, you have no way of knowing what is around the corner.
call your midwife for advice on the bleeding - if not you will worry even more.
hope everything works out x

Oh my sympathies, poor you. I worry a lot under normal circumstances too but my DH's employer has just announced redundancies and I'm due in Feb. Not to mention that we didn't plan the pregnancy financially very well and will be struggling even with his current salary so you won't be alone.

Could you put the house on the market or try to rent it out if things go really south?

Silly - sorry to hear you're going through all this now, I hope things improve and your dh gets a new job soon. I was very stressed during my pregnancy and I remember being very weepy one weekend when I was at my mum and dad's. My grandmother, bless her, told me how she was pregnant with my mum and living in London during the blitz, and how every night she had to go down to the tube station and sleep on a concrete floor, only she never really slept much because of the noise, and how when a bomb fell on Balham High street only a few 100 yards from their house and opened a giant hole in the road she thought she was going to die. All was well in the end of course, and it did reassure me to know how resiliant the human body is. It can cope with tremendous amounts of stress and your baby won't be harmed. It is still important you take care of yourself though and try and eat just a little, it's hard, but you'll feel so much better about the future if you're well rested and fed. Things have a habit of seeming really awful when you're tired and not firing on all cylinders. Take care x

All these replies are kind of putting my worries into perspective a little. I can't believe what some people have had to go through whilst pregnant. What heroes. The advice and encouragement are so welcome, thank you. Husband in state of bewilderment but going to have to push him into getting a CV together and looking for a job as one certainly won't come looking for him at the moment. I don't think these mad hormones are helping me much. I am just so darn teary which isn't like me at all.

I didn't want to belittle anything you're going through though silly, just wanted to illustrate just how much stress humans can actually still manage to function under

You're probably teary cos you're pregnant