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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

20 week scan and couldn't tell the gender

26 replies

titmouse · 07/11/2008 18:47

Had the 20 week scan today and was pretty surprised that the sonographer couldn't get a clear view of the baby's bits! Not even a glimpse. It was moving like mad and she only just managed to see some of its other organs and bones and things.
I am really pleased to know that the baby is healthy and growing at the expected rate but we really wanted to know what the sex is. I'm trying not to let on to people that we are disappointed as it seems so daft, and the main thing is that we have a healthy baby.

Paying for another scan is out of the question so I guess that's it now til it comes out!

No point to this just sharing and wondering if anybody else really wanted to know but couldn't. How did you get on with waiting another 20 weeks??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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lljkk · 07/11/2008 18:52

Gives you something to think about during labour.

dinny · 07/11/2008 18:55

lol, this is my third and have managed to last without finding out - it's worth the wait, that momen when they are born you just think "Baby!", don't even think about gender!

JennysMummy · 07/11/2008 18:59

I'm sorry, I'd be disappointed too

DD1 wouldn't cooperate at the 20 week scan & the sonographer only thought she "might" be a girl by the glimpse she got, but then I had to have growth scans later in the pregnancy so it was confirmed that she was indeed a girl.

Would you consider getting a private gender scan done?

goingfor3 · 07/11/2008 19:03

At 20 weeks I was told I was having a girl - HE is five months old!!!! I did find out in later scans that he was infact a boy but shows that they aren't always acurate!

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 07/11/2008 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

titmouse · 07/11/2008 19:10

are you finding out Hedgewitch or leaving it as a surprise?

goingfor3 - yes indeed I guess it could have been wrong anyway, that makes me feel better!

I think my mum is probably disappointed, she won't stop buying baby clothes and the only way I could stop her last week was by asking her to wait til my scan so that she could at least buy specifics and not just any random beige or white things. I caught her red-handed in marks and sparks. But that is probably a whole other thread lol

OP posts:

mumnosbest · 07/11/2008 19:13

I had the same experience. At 8 months, following concerns about my waters being 'depleted', I had a scan and was told 'my little girl would need to be delivered that day. I was still overjoyed to know, even though it was only a day before I met her. Understand your frustration. 20 wks seems such a long time to wait, then they can't tell you but hey at least he/she's healthy and very active by the sounds of it!

mrsfossil · 07/11/2008 19:14

Hi where i used to live when we had ds the hospital had a policy of not telling parents the sex. I went onto have an emegency section with a general anistetic so i missed the moment when out pops baby and the sex is announced because i hadn't come round. I now live in different area and pregnant with no 2. I've decided not to ask the sex at my 20 wk scan because i really want that big surprise when it pops out and the mw announces it.

MeMySonAndI · 07/11/2008 19:19

It was impossible to know with DS, sleeping with legs crossed and didn't move even with the typical walking around, a huge glass of cold water and orange juice.

Someway I always "knew" he was going to be a boy (I was already calling him by the name we were going to give him) but didn't want to say anything about this in public in case I was wrong and people thought I was disapointed.

So, he went on as "we don't know" until the day of his birth.

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 07/11/2008 19:45

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Original poster

titmouse · 07/11/2008 19:50

MeMySonAndI - I think it's a boy and have been calling him 'he' since about 12 weeks, would be really happy with either but it just feels like a boy. So I thought today that would be confirmed!

mumnosbest - absolutley agree with you, we're really pleased it's a healthy baby and definitely active, though I wonder how my insides are going to cope if this amount of activity continues! The sonographer said it was feet down and I felt a wave of panic thinking it would stay breech til the end but she said no chance it just moves a lot while it still has room.

OP posts:

dinny · 07/11/2008 20:15

God, I'm so rubbish at guessing - I was wrong with dd and ds!

anyone guess what am having this time for me?

littlelamb · 07/11/2008 20:23

With dd I wanted to know but they couldn't see and finding out for myself after a very difficult birth was amazing - I had fully expected her to be a boy and to look down and see she was a girl was wonderful. WIth ds, the pregnancy was very different, I had such bad morning sickness with dd I could barely function, but none this time, which did make me suspect a boy. The sonographer wouldn't confirm it, but I saw a willy at the scan which was great as we could tell dd and make practical decisions like which clothes to buy etc but I did miss that wonderful moment of being surprised at birth- obv was thrilled with him anyway, but not knowing beforehand is definately very special if you can stand the wait

Original poster

titmouse · 07/11/2008 20:23

I think Dinny is having.......

a boy!!

how long til we find out??

OP posts:

AccidentalMum · 07/11/2008 20:27

We had a cord between the legs scenario with DD2. Another forum I am on did a little poll of mums whose sonographer's couldn't tell and most had girls (about 75% I think). Obviously completely unscientific!

dinny · 07/11/2008 20:28

ooooh, just don't know!

I have had the same level of ms as I did with dd (1st baby) - with ds the sickness was much more intense

also, am convinced I conceived on day 9 of a 25-ish day cycle - would that mean girl or boy?

gah, I should have found out at scan!

Nemowith3and1tobe · 07/11/2008 20:29

I felt like that with both dds as they would not show anything wher ds had. However the best bits I remember from my labour was dh announcing they were girls each time.
We will probably again try to find out this time but if not hey ho as it adds to the labour.

tinkisexcitedabouthavingababy · 08/11/2008 11:56

same happened with me
with dd1 they couldnt tell @ 20 week scan as she wasnt moving and had legs and arms tightly crosses
luckily had a growth scan @ 33 weeks and found out then.
with this one i am 30 weeks now couldnt tell as legs crossed again
we were dieing to know as i wanted to buy gender related outfits and find out for dd so that she was prepared
we had already booked a 3-d scan before 20 week one this time we upgraded to a sexing scan well worth it could see all the bits.
have bought cute outfits and toys that are gender related and dd is really happy to be having a sister
also they are sharing a room so glad we found out not sure how a boy would have gone down sharing with she has a fairy theme too

solidgoldbrass · 08/11/2008 12:01

NO one could ever tell with DS (I had about 3 scans as was a bit hypertensive and had previous back trouble) because his knees were always up.
HOwever I was convinced he was a boy from about the time I got the BFP (which is a bit odd as back in the dim and distant days when I had sort of assumed I would have DC at some point, I always thought of myself having a daughter) and everyone else - with one exception, some silly 'I'm a psychic and I know' old bat at a market - reckoned it was a boy as well (no morning sickness, carried high and central, barely looked PG from the back even at 36 wks).
I kept wanting it to be confirmed but they always said they couldn't be sure - so when he popped out, landed on his back and kicked his legs in the air, about the first thing I focused on was his nuts and I yelled 'TOld you it was a boy!'

Original poster

titmouse · 08/11/2008 17:00

Hedgewitch, did you scan not go well? Sorry to hear that. Hope you are ok.

OP posts:

chloemegjess · 08/11/2008 17:16

I would be dissapointed too. We hope to find out at our scan at 21 weeks next month.

StealthPolarBANG · 08/11/2008 17:42

DS had his legs crossed
I was convinced he was a girl until another scan at 34 weeks (had a low lying placenta)
Scanner was pretty much between his legs and you could see everything - midwife said "You did want to know the sex didn't you?"
I didn't need any expertise at that point

GYo · 09/11/2008 14:49

Hey solidgoldbrass

Like you did, I have this idea mines a boy since BFP and similarly had thought I'd have a girl first before I was pregnant thing. Now Im so sure its a boy I will be quite surprised if there are no nuts on the delivery table! Though I will be happy either way (esp since I've got a better list of girls names!)

Got mid preg scan on tuesday but we've decided to not find out sex.... I like the anticipation. Cant wait to see if there is something in mothers instinct!

Sorry hijacking thread a bit

GYo · 09/11/2008 14:52

not sure what pregnant thing is

fairylights · 09/11/2008 15:05

same thing happened to us - our ds was obstinate in refusing to let us find out his gender and i was really disappointed for a couple of weeks(but like you didn't want to show it and seem ungrateful for healthy baby)especially as i had already been in hospital with hyperemesis (extreme sickness) and on a drip.. i felt the least the baby could do was show us its gender!
but actually it was so wonderful to have to surprise in the end - not least because i was 100% convinced we were having a girl and he was (obviously!) a boy..
we often said that the baby was probably going to be a difficult/obstinate little monkey after that scan - he is nearly 2 now and is definitely one of the most stubborn/wilful toddlers i have met (and according to most people who meet him!).
But he can be wonderful too. Honest!
all the best for the rest of your pg

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