pg after miscarriage - what helped you get through it without falling to bits.....

[Newb]

...Is there anything that will make the next few weeks bearable?

Just found out am pg again after mmc DC1 in July. Was over the moon for couple of days (and still feel incredibly grateful) but panic is starting to set in. Every twinge and I'm scared. Each trip to the loo am nervous. Will read the knicker checkers thread but wondered if those who have been through it know anything that worked.

Can I somehow pretend it's not happening? Maybe see 12 weeks as the point when I know there's a baby?

I know exactly how you feel. I've had 3 m/c, two of them mmc. Nothing you can do other than try to adopt a "what will be will be" attitude and try to keep occupied........oh and go on mumsnet Congrats on your pregnancy. Wishing you an uneventful pg iyswim

I did daft things like only wear black knickers so that if i bleed i wont see it.
I counted every day and week down one at a time.
I told no one about my pregnancy.
Held my breath allot and hoped against hope.
And
It was fine, he is 5 now.
(had 3 mcs btw)

((hugs)) and congratulations !

I have had a few mc and a mmc and tbh the only thing that got me though this time was pretty much ignoring the fact that i was pregnant. I tried to think about it as little as possible and didn't really tell anyone. I had an early scan at the EPU at 6 weeks and paid for another one privatly at 9 weeks and then at 10 weeks i hired a doppler and i have to say that kept me sane until my dating scan at 13 weeks, i still use it now and i am 20 weeks today.

I dont think pregnancy after miscarriage is ever going to be easy but i think the scans do make it easier for me as did the denial.

Good Heavens! A doppler. I didn't know they were available. Do they really work from ten weeks? That's where I'm meant to be now. Could you recommend a make for me to look at? This is my fourth pregnancy, having lost my first three. It's agony.

I would really recommend the HiBebe from www.AnaWiz.com

It's £20 a month which is lot i guess but money well spent if you find it reassuring. I was 10+2 when i found the HB and i am quite fat well covered so i thoutgh it might not work but it was fine ;)

Excellent, thanks. I'll take a look.

Tabitha - the downside to getting your own doppler is that panic can set in if one day you don't hear the heartbeat - this could just mean that your baby's lying in a way that the machine can't pick up sound but it would be very stressful for you. You don't need any more stress!

I had a mmc too, and the next pg was a nightmare. Once I passed the point of my mmc (which was about 15 weeks) I did relax a bit. But you are more than likely to have the pregnancy consume your every waking thought. It's extremely hard, all you can really do is be kind to yourself. Have you had a scan yet? Don't be afraid to bug talk to your midwife with any worries you have - I often phoned mine when I was feeling wobbly and fearful. Of course no-one can tell you that everything's definitely going to be alright, but having someone there to listen to your fears is comforting. And you'll find tons of support on MN.

Good luck

Newb - congratulations, and do join knicker checkers. They are wonderful and have kept me sane. The three things that have worked for me (and I'm 20 weeks tomorrow after mmc in March) are: trying to remember that this is a different pregnancy, and trying to starve your imagination of all the things that could go wrong (so basically rerouting your brain if it starts on a bad track ); having a private early scan at 8+3, and seeing a wonderful, lovely heartbeat; and my fab Angel sounds doppler (£25 from Amazon - I bought it at 13 weeks and have not failed to hear an hb each time, although I take kitkat's point about there being a downside if you can't pick up the hb).

Hope you find MN helps - the worry never disappears, but I've found being able to rant on here a HUGE help. Good luck!

Hi there. I had a m/c last year and am now 11 weeks pregnant - had the first scan today and all looked well. It was such a relief. Last time it didn't develop at all but I didn't lose it until about 10.5 weeks.

I have been a nervous wreck all week and anxious throughout. For me, getting a doppler wouldn't help as I would end up using it obsessively and I think it would make me more stressed. I suppose it's about working out what will help you to feel better. We didn't tell too many people but told close family and friends and it has helped to have people to talk to about it.

I have also been counting every day down and been glad when I've felt nauseous, horrid though it is. I have panicked at twinges and going to the toilet is awful. I think I will be more relaxed now after seeing the scan, although of course I will still worry.

I haven't been looking at the pregnancy books or bought any pregnancy things at all which I suppose was my way of not fully acknolwedging it was happening. I didn't want to be looking at the development of it just in case it all went wrong again.

Those first few months are awful when you have suffered the trauma of a m/c. I haven't even met my midwife yet! Luckily, I've been having acupuncture and she is also a midwife, so I've been asking her lots of questions which has been great.

Sorry for such a long post. This site is great to come and find others who have been in a similar situation. xx

I had two mmcs last year and am now 36 weeks with my fourth pregnancy (pregnancy #1 resulted in DD ). Even now I find I can't quite believe I'm going to get to take a baby home - I think any miscarriages automatically take the lovely innocence off pregnancy that some women have - ie that pregnancy means a baby. I agree with the previous posters though that you have to count the days until you pass the stage of your previous m/cs... and do remind yourself that even if you have several miscarriages, the odds are still very much in your favour that the next pregnancy will be absolutely fine. It's really difficult though and you have my sympathy.

Hi - congratulations.

My second pregnancy ended in a mmc and I ended up pregnant again a few months later. It was not an easy pregnancy and I found I lost spots of blood throughout it. Whenever I found spots of blood I panicked rang the midwife led unit and was told to head off to the maternity unit to be checked. They were very understanding despite being very busy and having to deal with an hysterical women going on about a few spots of blood.

I can laugh about it now but at the time it was incredibly stressful but i still think I did the right thing getting everything checked out. No matter how you try to play it cool you will worry about everything and getting things checked out makes you stop worrying.

We had booked a walking holiday in the lake district prior to the pregnancy and we decided to still go. The pregnancy was still in the early stages and the week we where due back we had the 12 week scan. Anyway I decided to take things easy.

So we ended up climbing Snowdonia - our dog ripped up the lino in our rented cottage and the car broke down on the way home and we had to wait 8 hours in a service station on the M6. Not exactly relaxing.

I think what I meant to say is that I think..

1. I found talking helps - to anyone that will listen.
2. Try not to worry - if something is bothering you get it checked out. Professionals wont mind they are used to it.
3. Take it easy - but still try to carry on as normal as sometimes whatever you do will not effect the outcome.

Should have said the lake district pregnancy resulted in dd2. She is extremely healthy and active and I put it down to the fresh air she got in early pregnancy!

Seeing a heartbeat. Every week at the early scan place.

I went on m/c forums.

Good luck.

Thanks everyone for your advice. It's good to know it's normal to feel like this and that if I accept I'm going to worry but that it will more than likely be OK that should help. Also what will be will be etc. mmc was at 10 weeks even though saw heartbeat at 8 - so only a few weeks to get through then hopefully all will be oK and will feel better

Happy to hear your stories of DCs that have stuck and are doing well