15 weeks and very confused, please Help!

[Ginge28]

I'm 15 weeks pregnant. This is my first pregnancy and I am just feeling so confused. My husband and I planned this baby and yes it came along a little quicker than we expected but we were happy. My problem is.... Well I'm not sure I even know myself. I am sad, scared, feeling like I don't want this baby and so disgusted with myself for thinking this. Please has anyone been through these emotions. I feel like I am going mad!!!!!

Yes, felt completely like this in both my first and this pregnancy. It is a huge, huge thing, no matter how much you wanted to have the baby, and both of mine have been desperately wanted. In my first pregnancy I gradually accepted it more as time went on and I got used to the idea, but I do think its like having a great big black void in front of you. You have no idea what your life will be like with kids, you can see your old life vanishing never to return. Its a huge amount of pressure to be under.

FWIW, although I spent most of my first pg in knots I have ended up absolutely loving being a mum. Feeling like this had no correlation with how I ended up feeling about dd at all.

Anyway, just to let you know you're not alone in feeling like this. I suspect quite a lot of people feel exactly the same way!

dont be disgusted with yourself, it's normal to feel like this( i hope so as i did!) hated the fact that the baby caused my body to change and that none of my clothes fit(felt so shallow)hated dp for making this happen (despite the fact she was planned)
i was, ans still am scared about everything! and im ready to pop (im 2 days late now)
dont beat yourself up for feeling like this, it's hormones and the fact that it's a totally new feeling!

Thanks guys. Your messages have set the water works off again but this time it is much more because I feel relieved. It is so good to know that I am not the only woman going through such things. I have felt so horrid for feeling this way and just hope that by the time this little bump is born I will feel happier and want the poor thing. Thank you again for replying it is one of things you just can't tell people for fear of being judged!

Totally know what you are going through- dd is now 7 months and I spent the last 2 months of my pregnancy awake most nights wondering what they hell I had done- she was planned, very much wanted and I had been broody for years before.

For me it was part hormones and part re-evaluating my life- I had a job I loved and a life I loved, and everything changes so much with a baby- I had to figure out who I was and redefine a lot of things. It was scary, but like the other posters with dcs, I love being a mum. It does all turn out ok in the end!

p.s- I told everyone about how I was feeling, and all the other mums I spoke to didn't judge- they might not talk about it, but so many women go through this kind of thing- good on you for posting about how you feel

Hi Ginge,
Your post rang a few bells with me also, although I have never mentioned how I have felt to anyone before (I too felt bad for thinking it).

I am almost 20 weeks pg with our first much wanted baby, after suffering a mc earlier this year. At first obviously I was worried about the baby being ok and not having another mc, but once it became clear that things were going to be ok, I started having these bizarre panics like what am I doing? I don't have a clue how to be a Mum! This is going to change our lives FOREVER! How will we cope? etc etc.

It really is such a monumental change in your life, it would be odd if we didn't have moments of panic! It did pass fairly quickly for me and I'm now really enjoying being pg and can't wait to meet the baby!

Hope this helps xxxxxxxxxx