thinking about breastfeeding

[heverhoney1]

I am only just getting into the second trimester but looking forward to having my very first DC.

So I have been thinking about pros and cons of breastfeeding.

Ok I know all the benefits of babies getting breast milk but I have several (mostly total irrational) fears. 1 of which is that my boobs are HUGE!! and I am scared of being exhausted and falling asleep while BF and suffocating baby. Also not overly keen on the thought of getting them out in public!

So I have been thinking - is there anything that I am missing that is blindingly obvious which means that I cant solely express breastmilk and feed baby it with a bottle???

I am scared I am being REALLY dumb and there is a really obvious answer to this question but I just cant think of anything right now in my mush brain phaze!!!!

Some people find expressing easy and get gallons, some get not a drop and you don't know which one you'll be till you try. Some can do it for 6 months, then the expressing stops for some reason.

Added to which it is enormously hard work - you are doing all the work of breastfeeding and all the faffing around with sterilising bottles of FF.

Some people do do it, but I think it would be more realistic to say that although you may want to express for some public feeds, it would be worth working on your fears about BFing.

It is true that very big boobs can sometimes be a tiiiiiny suffocation risk (though I thinkn it is more to do with the shape than absolute size). (This is mostly a problem post birth if you have had drugs that affect your state of consciousness) If you don't overtax yourself with an expressing and sterilising routine, you won't be that exhausted. You can get advice on safely feeding lying down etc. so you can get rest.

Public breastfeeding is daunting at first but you can do it, you really can! I found BF horrendously hard at first, couldn't latch, was being told by everyone to express after each feed which was knackering and pointless cos I never got much, and so I didn't really have time to worry about what I lookedlike in public and have never looked back.

Good luck and keep asking questions.

Not everyone finds expressing milk easy, I could never do it, although maybe I gave in too early. Its also a very time consuming task, much quicker to just breast feed and then you don't have to worry about sterilising etc. Plus breast feeding is a much nicer experience than expressing milk.
Your fears aren't that irrational, but are just fears.
Big boobs shouldn't be a problem. Every Mother and baby has to learn the whole breastfeeding process and work out the most comfortable position etc, regardless of what size you are.
Fear of falling asleep whilst feeding the baby is one that everyone I speak to has. I'm sure it would be just as much a problem if you were bottle feeding. I've never met anyone who has actually managed to fall asleep whilst feeding and it cause the baby a problem, but they will cry and wake you up if they aren't happy!
Getting them out in public - I'm sure this is the most common one and I was just the same. Don't breast feed while you are out until you and the baby have got the hang of it. Buy some big tops so that they cover you up when you are feeding. I can promise that once you know what you are doing people won't see anything or even realise that you are breast feeding.

I had a lot of problems with breastfeeding, in that she wasn't putting on the weight, so had to top up with bottles. However, I carried on breast feeding until 1 year and now feel very proud of myself for doing so.

i have HUGE boobs...obscene when pg!

i found bf fine...it is a bit scary to see your newborns head is much smaller than each of your baps, but don't let that put you off...

once you have managed to sort out latching your baby on easily (do this in the first few days at home where you can have little or no clothes on your boobs obscuring your view) feeding in public is somthing you can build up to..do it at home in front of your partner, then your parents/friends etc..then at someone elses house, then with a group of mates in public (or at least one other person...it gives you something to focus on, thus not getting paranoid about everyone watching you!) and see how you go...

try and hold off worrying about it now.. i remeber literally just after giving birth, having this huge overwhelming urge to bf my baby....it was lovely. we both struggled with it the first few days, but by then i KNEW i wanted to persevere with it...

on the same token, i have had friends who have tried and hated it and given formula very early on..... its a very personal thing.

aim for giving it a go, and then think about it when you know how you feel about it when you've had your baby.

x

I had trouble with bfing and no help or mn at the time so I expressed for weeks 3 and 4. It took AGES. When I wasn't expressing, I was feeding him the ebm from a bottle. Also, the pump has to be stripped and sterilised. A pain in the arse.
Expressing is great as an extra and for a break, btu not all the time. Also, my supply dried up after a fortnight. The mw said this was because of the lack of nipple stimulation from ds.

Oh, and I have fallen asleep whilst bottle feeding!

GOod luck with bfing. There is a wealth of advice on here. I hope to do better with no.2 and mn will be a big support. IIIIi have no doubt that had I used it when I was bfing ds, I would have managed far better.

If you really want to breastfeed I think you do have to be prepared to beg for help. Am I right in thinking the midwife would come and help/advise if necessary? We also had a breastfeeding group in our area which was run by a midwife so you could ask for help there.

I was lucky in that I was in hospital for a week due to other problems, and so I had loads of help with breastfeeding. It is difficult to start with but if you get the right help you will be fine.

My honest feelings right now is that I would rather formula feed than BF when tired (Esp at night - when I was a kid I slept through the 1987 storm while it was ripping our roof off so safe to say I am a pretty deep sleeper) or BF in public - I know loads of people do it and I envy you all but I just cant! I am only 13 weeks pregnant and aalready feel like a bad mother admitting that.

I want the baby to get breast milk mainly for immune support. And I dont mind the whole steralising thing as I would have to do that if FFing anyway. So am I right in thinking if I can physically do it (I understand that some women cant) there is not any medical reason why I couldnt solely express milk??

There's no medical reason afaik but the whole supply / demand thing won't work as well I don't think so you may find your supply doesn't keep up.
There are reasons other than milk to breastfeed - I'm thiking of emotional bond, jaw development, passing on immunities, details here but I'll probably get flamed for posting that.
I really would just read up about it, go to an NCT class if you can and see how you feel when the baby is born. If you choose to ff rather than bf that does not make you a bad mother! (Choosing not to feed your baby at all would make you a bad mother IMO), but it's worth having all the facts and waiting until your baby is born before even just giving it a go - if you can feed for a feed/ a day / a week then that is brilliant.

I dont have any kids but I like to keep an open mind. I will do what works and give BF a good honest shot. As for whipping it out in public, I am the shy type, I will have my long/wide scarves handy!

Lots of people do solely express their milk, if you want to do that and find it works for you then go for it. You might find that when you have the baby you change your mind and give bf a go, or you might decide to formula feed. The point is it will be your decision! Try not to worry (easier said than done, I know)

Heverhoney, I know its starting to look like I am hassling you now, but breast feeding in the middle of the night is so much easier than bottle feeding. If the baby is sleeping in your room you won't even need to leave the room.
The only plus I would say for formula feeding, esp at night, is that it keeps them full for longer and I think I am right in saying they will start to sleep through the night earlier.

I think a lot more people try to do this than actually manage it. I know that I've had a few friends who've had to do it for a few weeks/months when their baby wouldn't latch on and it was unusual to be able to manage with just the expressed milk.

If you envy those who can BF in public, then empower yourself and find a way to get yourself to do it too.

I also have huge boobs.
I have never suffocated my baby (), and I was never able to get much out when I expressed - my body seemed to know that it wasn't a baby and it was exhausting just getting a few ounces. So I'd recommend regular breastfeeding.

I also had your concerns about public breastfeeding too, and I solved it by feeding at very BFing-friendly places at first to get my courage up. And also by feeding in front of a mirror at home, so that I could check how discrete I could be. You might be pleasantly surprised at how little is on show. A cardigan is handy for those of us who are well-endowed, by the way, as it covers things up at the side.

Hever I solely expressed for 18 months as my DS would not latch on but honestly I would not recommend it to anyone who could BF normally. It is very very hard work, ties you to the house and the expressing machine for hours every day and doubles the amount of work you have to do. Because not only do you have all the faff of sterilising bottles and expressing posts and machine, plus the discomfort and inconveninece of expressing (during which you can't do anything else really, which is very hard when you can't even take care of your baby), but you also still have to feed the baby so your workload is doubled.

You have to express about 8-10 times a day for 20 minutes including getting up in the middle of the night to do it - when your baby starts sleeping at night this is extremely crappy, let me tell you! It is very lonely and can make you feel a freak because you can't go out for the day like a BF or FF mum would and you have to retire to another room for half an hour every 3 hours if you have friends over or go out.

And even if you do all that there is no guarantee that your supply will be maintained.

So...I would recommend that you get some proper advice on BF for women with large breasts. Of course it can be done safely - I know women with huge ones who are BF their 3rd and 4th children. The La Leche League, NCT and Breastfeeding Network would all be happy to advise you.

Oh and another thing - BF is not just about nutrition. I really wish I had been able to give my DS that lovely snuggly softness of BF rather than bottles. Breast milk is available on demand and the baby never needs to wait - unlike heating formula or EBM - and you are just as likely to fall asleep bottle feeding, which is much less safe than with BF. I fell asleep so many times from the exhaustion of getting up in the middle of the night etc and it terrified me.

If after reading all that you still want to go for expressing then I am happy to give you any information and help I can

heverhoney1:

2 scenarios to think about (to occur between every 2-3 hours):

1. Baby gets restless in her sleep:

You sleeplily roll towards her, stick boob in mouth, she sucks for 10 mins while you gently stroke her hair to stay awake. Nipple falls out of her mouth. She's fast asleep You roll away and fall back to sleep.

2. Baby gets resltess in her sleep:

You take a while to come round, get out of bed, go down stairs turning lights on, open the fridge and retrieve milk, boil kettle, stick bottle in hotwater, your baby is wide awake now and starts screaming waking your dp. You go back upstairs, fidget into a sitting position, lift the screaming baby, battle with getting the bottle into a crying mouth. Baby feeds for 7mins. You spend 10-15 minutes winding her, putting her down fully awake and praying that she'll go back to sleep. You get into bed and try to get back to sleep with her possibly muttering and wriggling.

Another huge boobed, deep sleeping lady with a newborn here. Firstly, there is no danger of you falling asleep during those first weeks of bf-ing...because it hurts! Not badly enough to stop but enough to keep you awake. You would have to be the world's best bf-er to feel comfy/natural enogh to drop off when you and your babe are learning.

the 'public' thing i can empathise with - and you can express for certain ocassions. but trust me - at home, you'll just whip 'em out to shut 'em up! Also, i'm sure it must be easiest to establish your supply of milk with the help of your obliging baby latching on and sending the right messages to your milk ducts etc. and you won't know how much she actually needs if you don't let her send the messages your body needs.

recommend some reading on how supply and demand works in bf-ing - it's very ointeresting. good luck!

I'd recommend going along to a couple of le leche league meetings just to see bf in action and talk about your concerns.

I'd agree with those who say no danger of falling asleep at first as you have to concentrate on the latch else it hurts!!

Later on when you're sleepy just sit up somewhere comfy and safe like the bed put your head back and nod off while little'un feeds- you'll be absolutely fine...you can't sleep too deeply as baby will make a fuss as soon as they come off the boob!!

hever i would like to add - I expressed solely for 8 weeks as my DT's were in SCBU, and my supply dwiddled as i didn't have the baby-to-boob contact that stimulates your let down.....I used to have pictures of them and their clothes that smelt of them, but it wasn't quite enough - so was put on Domperidome, which did help (but then logistics of tandem feeding twins once i was home hit me like a tonne of bricks and i wussed out and went to bottle).

I guess i experienced both sides of the fence, the expressing and the bottle feeding, but at DIFFERENT times - I can't imagine expressing and THEN having to also feed the baby afterwards, thus doubling feeding time. One bottle feed could take me up to an hour and that was without the having to express the contents of the bottle first.

I would strongly advise against solely expressing and instead using it as a back up for night feeds and out and about feeds. When home and all cosy and alone with baby, really do try the breast feeding (if you are lucky enough to have huge supply, maybe express while feeding as your let down will be working overtime), then you can stock up without the extra time involved.

But it really is an 'each to their own' decision, if it makes you uncomfortable to breast feed, even when alone, then don't do it...happy mummy = happy baby which ever form of feeding you choose.

Solely expressing takes a HUGE amount of time - you have the time to make up a feed and then feed from bottle PLUS the time to express- which can only really be done at home, and regularly from a proper machine (hand or manual expressing won't do the job well enough over time). This pretty much means that you can only go out for an hour or 2 at a time - it's extremely limiting for the child and yourself to do this beyond a few weeks. I don't think many people would choose to do this as opposed to BFing.

there is some really good advice on this thread! Agree with posters who said - getting up in night to FF is much more work than BF. First few weeks you won't fall asleep as it's sore and positioning needs concentration!

I've also got big boobs and was embarrassed at the thought of getting them out in public! TBH I didn't BF in public for a few months - you just go out after feeds or go inside private feeding room (they have them in places like Mothercare). Once you feel more confident you can try feeding in public - wear lots of layers and nobody will see any boob!

most importantly I'd say keep an open mind. Don't make any decisions while pg - wait for baby and see how it goes.

I have huge boobs too and didn't have any problems (both prem and tiny). I used to force myself to sit up straight (in bed), usually put the telly on and use a v shaped cushion. I probably dozed off quite a few times but never fell asleep properly. There's nothing like the piercing scream of a newborn baby to shake you out of the deepest slumber!!

I never really got into feeding in public, but admire peole who can whip em out anywhere. Loads of restaurants/shops have mothers rooms with a comfy chair which you can do it in, so I used to do that.

Sterlising the pump and bottles etc is a complete pain the arse as is getting up in the night to warm a bottle of milk up.

I'm chipping in again here, its a topic I know about and I'm not exactly busy at work today, can you tell .
The other problem with relying on expressed milk is that its difficult to go out for any reasonable period of time. At some point you will feel as though you are going to explode if you don't get rid of some milk and the options in this situation are:

• Go home earlier than you wanted to
• Find somewhere to express some milk (remember how long this will take)
• Breast feed.

I could never get through a baby group session or NCT coffee morning without breastfeeding, and most other people were in the same boat. When out shopping I always went to a coffee shop in one of the big book shops. Its the type of place where you can sit there half the afternoon with 1 cup of tea and a cake and no one cares.

I always thought I could never breast feed in public, but it soon got to the stage where I would prefer to be out, just because it would give me a different scene or people to talk to whilst I was doing it.

I never 'breastfed in public', I just happened to be out when my baby was screaming for a feed and so would find a discrete corner and get on with it iyswim.

your hospital or nct group should have a BF workshop - get them to show you how to BF whilst lying on your side.

I'm deffo for the warm bed BF in the night vs the cold kitchen heating bottle of milk option

Oh yes, I also slept through the 1987 storm despite our greenhouse smashing outside my window - but you will wake up when your newborn does, you're just programmed to (men aren't though I'm afraid)

Expressing would be a hideous faff! Best thing about breastfeeding is that it's convenient at all times of the day and night! You won't suffocate your baby. You get used ot public breastfeeding really quickly - nobody sees anything anyway, the baby protects your modesty