Just need a moan, sorry

[tristaleejac]

Hiya, not been on here for over a month, hope everyone is well.
Just having a bit of a freak out really.
I've had such a stressfull pregnancy so far. Moved to a new area to live with partner, 3 yr old son in tow, only to discover he's so into cannabis that he wont give it up to for us. After numerous times coping with him blowing up in my face because he's not allowed drugs in the house, I told him to move back in with his gran. We were still going to be a couple, just not living together. However he kept shouting and swearing at me for it all the time. It just got too horrible and I have now had to move back home to my mum's.
It is a great relief to be away from the situation, we are not a couple any more though because of how agressive he turned, even in front of my son.
I know it's my fault for moving down there to be with him just because we're having a baby, and I knew he took drugs. He'd always said when he had kids he'd give it all up. (More fool me)
So after 2 years being with this guy it's all over after a month of living together.
I'm currently 15 weeks pregnant and just feel like such a fool.
I've been under so much stress I'm worried it has affected the baby. With moving to a new area at 11 weeks, I had to re-register with new GP's so although I've had a booking in appointment I've still had no scan. I have one booked for Thursday 30th. Although I'm excited about scan I'm so nervous. I have put the baby under so much stress so far. I'm terrified there will be something wrong with the baby.
I apologise for just appearing all of a sudden to moan about stuff, but I feel I have to offload it.

oh tristaleeja, so sorry to read this but it is NOT your fault. He agreed to do something and because you loved and trusted him, you believed him. You must not feel like a fool.
Your baby will be fine, please don't worry. I've had a stressful pregnancy too, the first few months were terrible but I'm now 22 weeks, had a scan last week and baby is fine. Please try not to worry. Look after yourself and you and baby will be fine. Don't worry about offloading, we all need to do it sometimes, you have nothing to apologise for. Good luck with your pregnancy and your scan on the 30th. x

Thanks mumoverseas you seem to be my guardian angel just now, I really do appreciate the advice.

melmamof3 I am sorry to hear what you have been through, it sounds like you are a very brave person and very strong. Isn't it amazing how strong you have to be as a mum.

He was a bit of a d**k, which I'm finding hard as I was with him for 2 years and although I saw tiny flashes of his anger and drug habit, it wasn't until we moved in together that I saw his other side. It's awful because I fell so much in love with him over the time we were together. I now feel such a loss. I just have to keep reminding myself of what he turned out to be like, for my kids if not only for me.