Today I sampled the surgery I'll be transferring my antenatal care to in 4 weeks time when I move...

[ButIForgetMyself]

... and ended up in floods of tears.

I've been with a fab midwife and surgery for about a year while I've been working away from home. Only home at weekends, but this week I've been off and have managed to get very sick and registered as a temporary patient with my intended new practice.

It's the best one in the area, apparently.

The doctor was so.... cold. Not friendly like at my other place. The surgery was dark, and cold, and old-fashioned.

I transfer my care on Nov 14th when I start my maternity leave.

I don't want to have my baby here! I am so unfamiliar with everything and everybody. I love my community midwife and want her right up until the end! I am scared.

Is it unreasonable to think I can stay with my old practice even though the drive to hospital is at least an hour away? Surely I could just start the journey when the contractions were NEARLY coming fast enough to admit me?

(I know the answer to that. It's just so unfair.)

But you were ill! Everywhere looks horrid when we feel bad.

Take a big breath, get better and THEN go and see the new surgery.

You may be pleasantly surprised.

And the doc you saw may be just a stand in - or holiday cover - or someone you never have to see again.

I'm sure DP thought I was mad when I burst into tears in the car saying "I want to have the baby in Harrogate!".

He said we'll just move to a little village nearby, it won't bother him to drive a round trip of 110 miles to and from work every day.

I think he was being sarcastic though.

You're ill and pregnant and frightened of change. Of course you feel unbalanced and upset. Once you are better I bet you will feel calmer and more rational.

And if the surgery is really dire then ask around and see where everyone else locally is registered.

and finally - you and your dh may be horrifed to hear that once the baby arrives you will prob have several episodes of this behaviour that is so alien to your usual self. Over tiny things like running out of milk. Or not being able to parallel park the car while your lo is crying in the car seat.

But the hormones will settle and you will feel better .

Good luck!