I don't know how to tell them - really need advice.

[purplemonkeydishwasher]

I am nearly 12 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child. We had decided to not tell too many people until after the scan. Scan is next week and I'm starting to show a bit so we're going to have to start tellig people.
But my neighbour has had 2 miscarriages in the last year, my friend the same, my cousin's wife had a still birth in Feb. I just don't know how to tell them.
I feel so guilty for even being pregnant again.
How do I tell them? Please help.

Tough, for you I mean. It is kind to be sensitive to their feelings but ultimately it is a happy piece of news and you should be able to feel excited and happy without rubbing their faces in it.

I would keep it simple. You can't change the way they'll feel.

Oh and CONGRATULATIONS

Congratulations

Tell them, if you hide it then it will be worse for them.

As long as you tell them calmly and don't jump up and down flapping your arms and cheering, I'm sure they'll be happy for you.

I hope they'll be able to share THEIR OWN happy news with you soon too.

Congratulations!!!

Congrates

I had the same problem twice! I have a friend who miscarried at 4 months weeks before I was pregnant with my DS then again at 5 months a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant with DS2! both tmes she then went on and had babies (the second is only 2 weeks old my DS2 is now 5 months) poor thing had about 5 miscarriages!

I told her on her own didnt make a big thing of it and she was very happy for me just as your friends will be

Hi congratulations

My sister and a good friend found it difficult to tell me when they became pregnant as i had been ttc for 4 years. I felt very bad that they had put off telling me as although i kept thinking when is it my turn, iwas really happy for them and glad they wern't experiencing the same heart ache i was.

After some treatment we concieved and im now 14 weeks. I had to tell another friend who has 2 children but has had about 6 miscarriages and really wants another child. She wishe me well then avoided me for a few weeks. I left her alone and she did eventually call me and was really excited for me asking about names etc.

I think you need to tell these people like you would anyone else then leave them to deal with it on there own. I found when i was ttc after hearing about other pregnancys i needed to get my head around it then i could genunily be really pleased for them and actually enjoy chatting to them about there pregnancys and babies.

best of luck

thank you everyone.

I think I am a little gunshy because my sister was having difficulty conceiving and when I fell pregnant and had my DS she acting very very badly towards me (and DS). I know most people aren't like that but it's still in the back of my mind.

I was TERRIFIED of telling my sister, to the point that the thought of it turned me into a sobbing mess. She is unable to concieve (Having tried EVERYTHING) and is now in the middle of a very long very painful adoption process. I am 10 years younger than her.

I told her on Sat and she and her husband took it so well. They were very happy for us, they had pretty much guessed anyway due to my lame excuses for not drinking. Bro in law also hugged me! for the fist time since we have known each other (20 years!!!!) I am so so relieved I have told them now, I really should not have worried so much and you should definatly not feel guilty!!

At the end of the day of course they are going to feel a bit envious but when it comes down to it they know how much children mean to people so will be happy for you.

I know it is easier said than done but please try not to stress too much its not good for you or baby xxxx

I was afraid of telling my friend who had suffered an ectopic (which led to the removal of one tube) and another miscarriage all in one year. I eventually decided to tell her before anyone else and I did it by email.

I thought that if she wanted to cry (and she well might) then she could do so without feeling bad about making me feel bad, which would be the case if I told her face to face.

I explained why I was telling her by email and she rang me and said she was delighted for me and thanked me for my sensitivity but it turned out she was herself 5 weeks pregnant!!

So all ended well.