Pregnancy after Stillbirth

[Juliette108]

Hi there
I know there are some other people out there who are pregnant after stillbirth and I wanted to say hello. I am struggling a bit today and feel the inevitable crushing weight of the next few months; I am unsure that I can get through them but I am trying to be brave.
I know that there are lots of people who will offer suport but I really wanted to see if there was anyone around who had also experienced stillbirth and is coping with a new pregnancy.

[broodymom]

Juliette i have never experienced what you have went though but i thought i'd bump your message for you. xx

Ps you may find more help in the bereavement or misscarriage sections others have posted about stillborn children on here, they may have gone on to have other pgs good luck x

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Hi there,

I don't have any experience of your situation, but I know other ladies on this thread do. If you post there you will find some advice and a friendly ear.

[greenlawn]

Hi Juliette, yes I had a stillbirth - one of my dcs died at 32 weeks. His twin survived and I went on to have another son, and am now 38 weeks pregnant.

I can't pretend I had a happy pregnancy the second time round, and there were times I wondered what the hell I was doing putting myself through it - but I got through it and the moment I held my son in my arms I knew it was worth it. My dcs know so much about loss it makes me sad, but they also understand that dying is part of living and they are very proud of their brother.

Its an old cliche but one day at a time is the only way. There will be good and bad days. The bad ones can be crushing, but every now and again you may find a day is surprisingly good.

I had counselling and then cbt - counselling helped more, but both helped.

I wish you all the best for the rest of the pregnancy; it WILL be worth it.

[Juliette108]

Thanks very much for your messages I really appreciate it. Pregnancy is a long journey and it feels even longer and more frightening this time round.

[mrsgboring]

Juliette, I've been there too. I'm currently on my second pregnancy after stillbirth. My DD was stillborn in July 04 and I had DS in Oct 05.

It's desperately hard. You do get through it though I don't really know how. One thing that I did which helped was to read books to my bump, so I felt like I was getting some mummy time with the baby straight away - DS had a fairly big book collection before he was even born. Sad I know but we felt like proper parents when we went away on hols and took books for the baby.

Oh the other thing is planned treats to look forward to - a meal out or (if you can afford it) a trip away every few weeks or months can take some of the focus off the pregnancy timeline. We found we had to just throw money at the problem, even though we couldn't really afford it. Particularly as I have really sicky unpleasant pregnancies anyway and need the distraction.

I permanently cut my hours at work too and had a weekly routine of going swimming which I felt was beneficial for me and the baby.

[oopsadaisyangel]

Hi there, my DS2 was stillborn in Dec 07 and I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant! I have to say that I think I'm going through some sort of denial - yes I completely believe that I'm pregnant but can't seem to vision having a baby at the end of it. Its truely a scary time. DS1 (6) understands what what happened to his little brother and looks out for the brightest star every night to say goodnight to him.

I'm here for you if you need to talk

[Juliette108]

Mrsg thank you for the practical suggestions, which are really helpful. I just wish I could shut my eyes and sleep until it is time to have this baby.