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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

who arranges your baby shower?

40 replies

mad4mybaby · 12/09/2008 13:54

Just wondering if its something you arrange yourself in your own home or if someone is supposed to do it on your behalf? Never got one with ds1 as didnt have any friends/family nearby but i really want one this time round.

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expatinscotland · 12/09/2008 14:44

i know i am, MrsTittle. the thought of being the centre of attention and opening gifts in front of others and being expected to ooo and aahh over them and being onstage like that is just toe-curlingly cringeworthy to me.

yes, in the US you're expected to register for gifts and then be showered with them at the shower.

'support' 'pamper' 'celebrate'.

vom.

LoveActually · 12/09/2008 14:44

Have to say I read this thread with interest, a couple of my friends suggested arranging one for me.
Instead because the baby is due near Christmas I've decided to make it into a pre-baby, pre-Christmas party instead'. Asked friends not to get me anything, I didn't think it was fair as I write a maternity blog for a well-known finance site and get sent fee nappies/body cream/baby clothes/maternity clothes anyway. But I am lucky, having a baby is not chap and can understand why some ladies would like to do it.
Why not have a party/get together and if friends insist on buying you something get them to do what Mad4mybaby sugggesed - vouchers for a nice spa treatment.

MrsTittleMouse · 12/09/2008 14:45

But I do completely agree with pregnant women and those with newborns needing support, honest! Which is why I'm not at all against the idea of an "I'm just about to give birth and I'm fed up" party.

expatinscotland · 12/09/2008 14:45

we did celebrate my getting British nationality, however. with a night out on the lash, Scottish style .

FabioBigBangBlackHole · 12/09/2008 14:46

It's decorated with leetle bottles and bibs, and comes with a teddy bear rattle attached to the handle, you know.

harpsichordcarrier · 12/09/2008 14:48

my suggestion for gifts was to buy your own favourite book from childhood to build up a library
not expensive

harpsichordcarrier · 12/09/2008 14:48

anyway if anyone is thinking of organising one, I have some great games

Original poster

mad4mybaby · 12/09/2008 14:52

im glad there are a few of you who have come to my rescue! I have never been to any kind of shower and had no idea they had the stigmatism attached to them. i certainly wouldnt make up a present list with a store! Certainly wouldnt expect presents (although wouldnt say no! )

OP posts:

lollipopmother · 12/09/2008 14:56

Do us 'no way' brigade come across as a load of boring bar-stewards by any chance?!

expatinscotland · 12/09/2008 14:57

no, it's just never something you organise for yourself.

throw a party, yes, with no gifts clause.

or MrsTittle's suggestion of girly night in with nail varnish and hair dye and hte like.

but showers aren't something you give yourself.

MrsTittleMouse · 12/09/2008 14:58

But if you wouldn't expect presents, then we have done you a favour by explaining the stigma attached to the word "shower", no?

I'm not anti-mad4, honest, just anti-shower.

MKG · 12/09/2008 15:01

There is a sense of entitlement by most women I know here in the US. It isn't looked at as an empowering thing, they are a gift getting party.

Personally I didn't register, because I didn't know what I needed, and felt silly asking for random things I wanted.

MKG · 12/09/2008 15:03

Mad 4 if anything, organise a spa day with friends, that way you are ensured everyone will have a good time.

Showers are boring for the people that sit there watching you open gifts, and weird for the person opening them.

bythepowerofgreyskull · 12/09/2008 15:03

towards the end of my pregnancy with DS1 my Mum and sister and I went to a local spa for a pampering day - it was wonderful they had special pregnancy massage beds(room for your bump) it was not billed as a baby shower it was a nice day out prior to baby arriving - and much appreciated.

KSal · 13/09/2008 08:55

I'll just throw in my opinion here. I have been involved in throwing 'baby showers' for a few of my friends. The point is that we wanted to get together and people want to buy gifts for the mums-to-be. It just combines a girly get together with a bit of buying cute baby gear. There's never been a gist list involved, though, that is going a bit far imho.

I am about to be thrown one myself. It is being organised by my friends on my behalf at my house so i don't have to travel (which is why i know about it). I have to say i do feel a bit uncomfortable about the implication that gifts are expected, but my friends have assured me that its not an issue. Some people will bring gifts, but the point is to get together.

I agree you can't throw a 'shower' for yourself, but i don't see any reason why you shouldn't organise a pre-baby get together for yourself.

Maybe the reaction here is due to the use of the term 'shower'? I just don't think it has the same connotation in the UK as it perhaps does in the US.

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