having a baby abroad

[trollprincess]

Hi,
I'm eight weeks pregnant - I've been living in Kenya for a year but am still totally panicked about having a baby away from Britain. Anyone else done anything similar?

Oh yes!!! having a baby in paris and don't speak the language. also the staff at the hospital i'm having the baby don't speak english!!!

although i'm not quite as far away as you are. do you have a support system yet?? friends/family/mother organisations....

Hi,
Kenya may be easier than Paris in that most people speak English here in the hospital, BUT its a lot further away. I have a friend who just had two healthy babies out here, and she has been great on advice. My dad has promised to come out just before the birth. I'm just worried that our doctor, who is very well recommended but quite old, can be quite traditional. The nurse in his surgery was also awful - did not introduce herself at our first visit - just grabbed my arm to take my bp and warned me not to eat cakes, even though I haven't. Nothing major - I think I just miss my friends to talk all this over.

How long have you been in Kenya?? Is this your first baby?

i've been in paris since October and miss my family desparately. I'm having a low-point in terms of friends as most have fallen by the wasteside (not attempted to get in touch or anything). But you do make new friends.

Mumsnet has also been great because i can browse and there are tons of information on the threads. there is always someone else out there who is going through the same thing and able to provide words of comfort if not advice.

Hi there, i live in France nr. La Rochelle - Charente Maritime and am 35 weeks due april 7th.with 1st. Bebe. I speak some French but not good, and as brain is puree these days am finding it hard to learn, so am saving till after the birth!! The care i have had since being here has been great, lots of and time and patience. I have do moments of panic, but babies are born all over the world in odd situations so hang on to the fact that the doctors and midwives are there for you and will do all they can to make it as easy as poss. Also if you are really not happy maybe you can be refferred. X

Hi, I had my baby abroad, with no support network and in a completely different culture. Luckily I could speak to a few other people who had done it before me, so I knew sort of what to expect in that way. It was still quite scary though.

Is there anyone you know in Kenya who has been through the experience?

Hi,
Thanks for all the support. I've been in Kenya a year and I know a few mums who have done it but they are either totally selfless - keep the house and baby going while their husbands trot aroudn the continent, and don't complain about pain, stiches, bad treatment, or they are totally paranoid about crime and health and never leave the house. I'm a little in the middle. I work, and want to have a pregnancy I enjoy, not endure.
One other question - does anyone else have a glass of wine on weekends? I did try to quit but got so depressed that my body is not my own that I allow myself two glasses each weekend. It does wonders for my mood and means I have no desire to drink at other times.

If it's one glass once a week, I shouldn't worry at all.

How does the healthcare system work where you are? Do you have any choice about where you go and who you see? I had a baby in Germany last year. I arrived in the country 6 months pg and spent the next 2 months working out how to get the right care. It was a bit scary and I could have done without it being so last minute, but all came good in the end. But my point is, try to find out now what your options are rather than soldier on with caregivers you are just not sure about (the nurse sounds ghastly by the way - not what you need when you're first pg)

Good luck

Hi,
there is a choice of doctors and this one does seem to have the best succcess rate. I guess here they just say you are lucky to have a healthy baby, never mind all the frills like water births, aromatherapy etc. I will just have to insist on more in future - I was just a bit dazed at the first appointment. How is it going in Germany?

Sorry for butting in but franke where abouts are you in Germany??

Ive just found out that i am pregnant, and am moving to portugal in september as my husband needs to do a year abroad as part of his degree. Its good to know there are other people who have done it/are doing it, thats a comfort! I dont speak the language either, but i think i will be ok in the end, the main thing is that your partner is there to support and be with you i think.

Hi Trollprincess,

I'm kind of in the same position as you, I've been living in Cyprus for about 4 years and I'm 4 months pregnant.
I never really settled here, always missed home alot but my parents used to live here too so it made it easier. They went back to the UK as they didn't like it here in the end and myself and my hubby stayed due to work commitments.
Finding out I was pregnant was a big shock and my first instinct was to pack my bags and get a flight but my hubby totally refused to return to the UK after the work we have put into setting up a decent life here. I spent the first two months feeling like you do (and hating my hubby) and it was awful, you really do feel like everything is happening 'to' you rather than you being in control.
However, making the decicion to stay or to go has made things alot easier. Now we can plan...I have found a doctor that I like, accepted the fact that we will be staying here and started to do my research. Getting in touch with other English mums here has been a great help, knowing they actually did it and survived is very comforting! You will always find those who tell you it's nothing, when you are quite obviously scared out of your wits and also those who tell you the most horrific stories which doesn't help either but thankfully I have managed to find some nice people though who I can talk to.
It does get better though and I am starting to enjoy it a bit now, despite feeling crappy!
I'm still very very nervous about the birth but I am hoping that when the time comes, I will have trained myself to stay calm...or just be so desperate to have the baby that I really don't care!

Take care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon

Hi Trollprincess, I'm 5 months pregnant and in The Netherlands. It just takes a bit more time to find out what the "local rules" are for the pregnancy process when you're abroad.

I've been having the odd glass of wine too and will confess to nice brie/ pate too on odd occasions (so long as no neurotic mothers are around to see and scream baby-murderer at me). It probably is a good idea to mostly stick to the rules and advices; but happy mum= happy baby I reckon.

Best of luck!

I had a baby in Italy 10 months ago....and i'm now 4 months pregnant so it can't have been that bad!

I found a pre-natal group where i met other mums-to-be and it was probably the best thing i did.A few of the girls i met have turned out to be really good friends.the group helped a lot in terms of understanding my options for the birth, but mainly it helped me establish a support network as up until that point all my friends in italy were all real party people.

good luck, and enjoy the wine!

C4ro I'd love to hear more about how you're getting on. I too am in NL and 25+1, everything is going swimmingly - I'm having a homebirth with an English speaking midwife - I feel very relaxed about it all.

Tbh the most complicated thing I've found so far is trying to work out the tax system/child benefits type stuff.

I'm another one in Germany. So far I can't complain about the care here - if anything they tend to overdo it. DH is being fantastic but I'm rather hoping that my Mum will come over for a few days when the baby has arrived and give me a hand. She hates flying but I think the first Grandchild will be motivation enough to get her onto a plane.

Regarding wine, my German doctor told me that I could have two glasses a week and that if I suddenly realised that there was alcohol in a dessert, not to freak out but just enjoy eating it! So far I've not felt the need apart from a small sip on Easter Sunday, but it was nice to hear.

I'm also in Germany and so far the care has been really good. I think it's important to find a doctor and midwife that you feel comfortable with and who will answer all your questions, however stupid they may be!

All of you lot come join the living overseas ante-natal club here - there are people allllll over the world and someone will probably be able to advise you on your particular country.

There's even a list of French birthing terms floating around somewhere!

Hi,

Im currently working in South Korea and am looking to get pregnant with my partner. I leave South Korea in July but still will travel around Asia rather than returning home to the UK. With regards to having a baby abroad what are the costs (or where can I find out costs), can I enter a country just to give birth?

Thanks very much

Hi ladies, I'm 8 weeks + 3 days with my first and living on a small caribbean island. What a relief to find a message board with other people in a similar situation. I've got friends out here but all single party people mainly so feeling a bit isolated and far from home. Care seems okay so far but I have to decide where to have the baby, it's not an option to have it here so will have to travel to a nearby island in advance or go back to the UK for a bit, but that would interfere with my tax status. Also, not keen on leaving the other half for the last two months!

Hi
I had DD in South Africa; she is now 4. I am now pg with second in the UK. The care is different, I had many more scans in SA and the hospital was rather nice but the after care (for breastfeeding etc.) was pretty much non existent in comparison to here. I had an emergency c-section in the end and struggled somewhat.

The other thing that was different about SA was that I had to go back to work after when DD wasn't quite 4 months. People are horrified by this here in the UK and I look back and wonder how I did it. But she had a lovely nanny who came during the day, I travelled a lot with my job and DH did his bit too. To be honest I think it saved me from PND as I had something else to focus on etc.

I'd investigate getting a good doctor, you need someone you can trust. Try and do some research based on recommendations etc. You can look on here if you don't know too many people there.

My cousin lives in Kenya and has had no problems giving birth to her three children (the oldest is now 13), so of course it is possible.

On another note re: the wine - I shouldn't worry about a glass but I am more concerned about your mood. Be aware of ante natal depression, you are under stress and got more to concern yourself with so equip yourself with some knowledge. I seem to be suffering from this second time around and it isn't all that great .

Good luck with everything and try not to worry too much.

SV

Hi there ! I moved to the middle east in March and am now 35 weeks pregnant...i have to say it has not been easy and have spent most of the time thinking i am crazy to have put myself through all the extra hassle ! because i cannot get a residence visa here, even though my husband and child are nationals ( it took them 6 months to get into the healthcare system) we are having to pay for all medical treatment.....i have decided to have a c-section which is more expensive than a natural birth but there is a high chance i would have to have an emergency section anyways.
the healthcare here is definately different...more cautious i think and i have definately been scanned, poked and prodded alot more, but the bedside manner of the doctors and nurses is terrible. no introductions, just the curtain comes flying open and someone ( the cleaner ? lab assistant? workman? doctor?) walks in to attach the monitor. i have recently finished my nurse degree, thanks god, so i know how to interpret results, questions to ask and luckily how to test my blood sugar and administer insulin after i was given a diagnosis of gestational diabetes, handed the prescription and told to take 6 units at night and titrate according to fasting blood sugar levels! (no patient teaching like the dear old NHS).
the heat is killing me also, its 38 degrees today, and i cant exactly walk about with nothing on...we are living with my husbands parents and extended family so i am feeling abit homeless, emotional and bloody tired ! (insomnia, twitchy legs).
am kinda getting used to the healthcare staff now so am feeling a bit more comfortable but still cacking myself about the section...and after care. missing my scottish midwives, the organisation and general communication and patient care...good luck to you all ! xx