I'm getting really scared now

[trinityrocks]

Hi, I am 34 weeks pregnant with my second child. My first is going to be 5 when the baby is due. I am recovering from a dibilitating (can't spell) panic disorder and I am still on Antideppressants for Severe PND that stole my memory completely of when my first was between 6 months and 20 months! My hubby is in the navy and going to be away for 6 months of this year when our second is about 2 months old. I strongly believe that my depression was brought on by the fact that I got married, Had my first baby, lived with my parents for the first three months of babys life (with hubby aswell) and then moved house all in the space of 6 months!!! I am now totally settled with a good group of friends and alot of support from MIL and friends so I don't beleive that it will be like the first time. BUT this morning my little girl has woken with a temp and I hope it's just the begginning of a cold but it started me panicking about whether I will be able to cope with two children. My hubby is wonderful and does lots when he is here but when he isn't I can't even garauntee when I might be able to speak to him next because he's on submarine so sometimes I feel like a single parent. I really want to make my family happy and i'm scared that I'm going to fail..... Oh I'm sorry to babble on, I should just shut up. Sorry, hope everyone else is doing fine!

babble away. i have some similar fears to you. i had PND after dd1 was born which took 18months to get back on my feet and with it again. after dd2 was born me and dh split up foa while. we are now back together. but dh is very very ill, and #3 is due on monday. dh has been in and out of hospital since dec, and is currently undergoing assessment for heart transplant, and we find out whether he is on the list on the 1st march. dh is being discharged from hospital today. and i am panicing as i dont know if i'm gonna be ok with dh fitting back into our routine here. and then everything changed on monday once baby is here. oh its gonna be mad.

Feel free to babble - that's the whole point of coming on here!! You are going to be fine. I get in a flap when the kids are ill and my DH is here with me. Keep calm, call a friend for some moral support and remember you're doing a great job which alot of people couldn't do. You won't fail you - will just get on with it and be a great mum.

Write your husband a letter expressing your fears and give him the chance to reassure you. And come on here and chat whenever you are feeling a bit down.

Hi misdee - good luck for new arrival!

You babble all you like, trinitysocks. I think second pregnancies must be incredibly scary when all has not gone perfectly the first time. I was lucky when it came to PND but I would definitely feel a bit panicky about going through birth again as my initial experience was quite frightening in certain ways. There are many people on this site who have had very traumatic times surrounding pregnancy or birth or the first year after birth and this has naturally affected their emotions and fears when they have another child. I would be extremely worried if it didn't, to be honest. You have every right to express your worries and it may even help!

Do you have any good professional support alongside your great sounding friends/family? I'm wondering if your GP or health visitor are supportive? Maybe even some lower level support from a Community Mental Health team would be helpful for a few months after the birth, if they're not already involved?

Very very very very best of luck, misdee

Agree with scummymummy - use your support and find out if there's any more you can access. You're aware of the potential problems now, so get things in place before you really need them, and even if you won't. Having a second child IS scary even if you coped well with the first, which a lot of us didn't! And don't be so hard on yourself. Sorry, not meant to be patronnising.

have you spoken to your midwife about your fears?

I have been thinking about telling my midwife but didn't know whether I would seem whingey and silly, after all other mums cope with alot worse

Thanks for all your replys I think I might just tell her now and check if theres anymore support available, just in case I need it Thanks again