Pregnant with third child - not sure how I feel - anyone similar??

[mayl]

I feel awful writing this but I am expecting my third child. I have spent the last two years considering having a third and actually got some ovulation sticks just in case. Went on holiday last month and used them from day 7 to day 19 but didn't have a positive result. Had unprotected sex as thought I probably wouldn't get pregnant as I suspected I wasn't ovulating (age and other things) and if I did it would be a lovely surprise. However, I am pregnant and feeling very confused. I will be 37 and my other two will be 4 and 6, so just getting our lives back. We have a very good life with lots of friends and are very social both with and without the children. Work (part time) is great and I suspect it may be difficult to return with three and financially it?s going to be tough. I knew all these things before I took the risk and they just seemed secondary but now it is reality I feel totally different. I just want to feel positive about this but am struggling at the moment. Please let me know if you felt this way and if so what happened??

mayl - I think what you're feeling is totally normal. My third was much wanted but when I found out - in the chemist's as he'd done me the test - I just broke down in tears. I was going to have 3 under 5 and the consequences, financial and practical just overwhelmed me. It did take me a good few weeks to start to look forward to it. I'm sure you will too - give yourself a break. You'll manage and having 3 is fab

Mayl - no time to post properly, but I felt exactly the same. Dithered for ages about whether or not to go for the third, then it just sort of happened! Once I was pg, spent the first 20 weeks thinking "oh my god, what have I done?" Am now 23 weeks and coming round to the idea. I'll have 3 under 3 1/2! Your big ones are big enough to help a little, bubt small enough to be enthralled still.

I think shock and dismay are very normal. There are other threads about this. It will e OK. Congratulations!

I'm 39 and still have plenty of energy most of the time. I also work PT and fully intend to carry on. It will be tough, but the hard bit won't be for ever. In addition, you'll have one at school and the smaller one at nursery (?) so will have some catch up time.

Hi mayl, I am also pregnant with #3. I too will have 3 under 3½. Although this pg was planned, I fell pregnant 4 weeks after finishing BF DD2 (turned 1 last week) and 12 days after deciding to try for another. I think I am still a little shocked!

My friend has also found out she was pregnant and is due at the same time. She will have an 8.7 year old, a 6.11 year old and a newborn!

is pregnant, not was.

mayl I felt just the same when got pregnant with my third (due in a week). I couldn't not get pregnant as knew I would regret it but at the same time I had a big wobble when I did get pregnant. I have a nearly 3 year old and a 4 1/2 year old and whilst they are hard work, life is far easier than when they were really little! I'm 36 btw. I also worked part time after both children and still want to go back but we'll see how things pan out. All I can say is that I'm really looking forward to meeting the last little filou and I know my family is complete now - I think another pregnancy would kill me. Even just after giving birth to dd (no2) I knew I would do it again - this time I am sure I won't! And it is nice to have that certainty at last.

mayl

I beginning to think all 3rd babies are a shock.

I have just found out i'm expecting baby no3 and it was/is a massive shock.

It took me 2yrs to get pregnant with dd1 (4.6ys) and then another 18mths to pregnant again (m/s) then another 18ths to pregnant with dd2 (11mths).

This time just once on about cd 24 then i'm pregnant, to make matter worse i even had a implation bled on cd 28 so i thought i safe. Apparently not i am between 11 and 14 wks pg.

it has taken us about 2 weeks to get used to the idea of having a third child when we didn't won't more then two.

I have roughly the same age gap as you. My DC3 is 3 now, the others are almost 9 and 6. DC3 was unplanned although we both liked the idea of a third. I spent the first part of the pregnancy wondering whether it was the right thing to do, but got very excited by the end.

I was working p/t but never went back after mat leave. I don't think I would have coped with all the juggling, but I know people who manage to work with 3DC.

It is lovely, but hard especially during the summer holidays. I seem to be constantly on the go, and the children do fight quite a bit. DS2 was a very easy child until he became a middle child

However I can't imagine life without DC3, and really love seeing them be together.

Congratulations on your news

mayl - I felt this way too. I had dithered about number 3 but had pretty much decided once I turned 40 that we wouldn't go for it. So I was very shocked to find I was pregnant last year (a month after my 40th). I have two other kids the same ages as yours. I came up with all the reasons that it was a bad idea (the most important at the time seemed to be "and we're going to have to get a stupid big car!" ) I think I spent the early part of my pregnancy in shock and quite anxious that all would be well because I'd been so unprepared for it. But dh was really, really pleased at the prospect of no.3 which helped a lot.

Our little surprise is now 3 months old and I can't believe my luck We all love him, he's slotted into the family quite comfortably - he really is the best decision I never made.

Oh, and we've managed to hold off on the stupid big car for the time being

Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope you will feel more positive about it soon. It's early days - be kind to yourself and give yourself time.

Hi - I'm with you too.

Found out I was pg with number 3 last week, totally unplanned, others are 9 and 4 and it is the age gap that scares me the most, we were just getting a bit of 'time together' again. Financially and 'spacewise' it will be a bit of a struggle.

Also have a stepson who is 9.

Hubby doesn't really want it at all, I just went to GP to discuss my options but ended up just booking in at antenatal clinic!

when are you due? maybe we can go through this together xx I'm due around 20th April x

I found out I was pregnant with number 3 back in January through contraception failure (that is the only thing it could have been though we don't remember it failing....)

I am due in 5 weeks and it is starting to hit me. Had a bit of denial going on until now

Seriously though, I wasn't sure what I ought to do. While we had not ruled a third one out, the timing was really bad. But it will be fine. It has taken us a while to come round to it and we still can;t quite believe it tbh but it will be ok

Just to add - ds1 will be just turned 6 and ds will be 3.5 when ds3 is born.

Also, ds1 took about 20 months to conceive and ds2 took around a year. This one took one 'try' with contraception!!

I am also pregnant with an unplanned-oh-my-god-what-a-shocker number 3!!! My DDs are 7yrs and 11months so it really wasn't planned. Initially I was in shock and a little in denial, but my anxieties were more to do with awful pregnancies as I don't keep well, but I am nearly 12wks and even tho on times the sickness has been grim, I haven't been nearly as bad as the last two and that has given me hope. The thing I just realised yesterday, as I was also not feeling very excited about it all (Mind, it's hard to when you are throwing up, looking after two kids and working as well...) was I realised that it was because I was still really enjoying DD2 as a baby and didn't feel ready to 'replace her' as it were. I had the same thing with DD1 which is part of the reason I left such a gap. But I'm now thinking when I go to the scan on Friday, and God willing there is only one!, that I will be thinking, hey, little munchkin, looking forward to you joining our clan! I think you'll be fine and just need to give yourself time. Most of us have the financial concerns and contraints, but as another poster said, it should only be for a while. Good luck!

Mine was/is unplanned and I just burst into tears when I told DH. I have a 17 month gap and this one will be 20 months. I had a planned a bigger i.e at least 2 years pref 27 months, gap but wasn't meant to be.
I'm feelingg better about it now but was totally overwhelmed. ds1 will only be 3years nearly 2 months if this baby arrives on time.
I think your reaction is perfectly normal.

Hello, can't post properly but just want to say a huge thank you for all your replies, they really do help. Will reply properly when home.

Surprise number 3, yes, looks like it is due 24th so would be great to have a pregnancy buddy!!!

24th April, I mean...!

I'm 35 weeks now with my 4th. My youngest is 7, then 9 and eldest 14. It was a shock at first, but now I can't wait. It'll certainly be like starting over for me. All our money worries and usual stuff seem to have taken a back seat now he's nearly here. I still worry now tbh what it will be like juggling everyone and everything, but as the saying goes, as long as there is love in the house, you'll manage!

Thank you for all the messages, I feel much better and think I am coming to terms with it now. I have actually told a couple of people in the real world now and I think that was a big step towards accepting it. These worries seems to be a common theme with having a third child maybe?? I am going to focus on the positives and just go with the flow, there is a long road ahead anyway and who knows what is going to happen!

Glad you're feeling more positive. I'm sure once all our 3rd ones turn up, we'll all not be able to imagine life without them!

Mayl, I am 30 weeks (tomorrow) with my 3rd and although we decided to actively ttc a 3rd baby, I still felt very much the same as you described when I got my positive test. My boys will be almost 7.5 & 4.5 when baby arrives. It took almost until the end of the first trimester to feel less uneasy about it and well into my second trimester for me to feel really excited. Now I absolutelty can not wait to meet this little one, I wish it was the end of october already, :0

I have a DS 2y and 9m old and DD 1y and 1w old. We started to try this month and think might be preg. I'm looking forward to it. I've always dreamt of having 3 as I have a sis and a bro and couldn't imagine my life not having one of them. I think THREE is the perfect number. Good luck to you all

Hi. I have just joined this site as I found out two days ago I was pregnant with my third baby. I wanted a third baby but my husband and I (married again in July 2008) decided that we would wait until next year due to my going through moderate depression due to family arguments and rifts etc. This baby is def a surprise and although as previously stated we do want another baby, I am unsure of how I feel. One minute I am excited and the next thinking what if i can;t cope! My doctor took me of the anti depressants yesterday and said I should be fine. But I am still very scared and nervous. I already have two children aged 13 and 11. So a big gap there for us! Reading some of the posts here yesterday made me realise that what I am feeling is normal! A big releif. I therefore decided to join and hopefully gain reassurance from fellow mothers and also give reassurance where I can to others. So just wanted to say thanks!

You will be totally fine and the big brothers will help you out a lot more. You can start to ask them, before the baby comes, to do some house chores, and will get you some time free for you and the baby

Hi inni. Thanks for that. My other two children are girls and they are great already. Heaven knows how they are going to be when we tell them about the new baby. They have always asked for a brother or sister so I know I will not be short of help on that score! I don't think they will so keen when they find out they have to share a bedroom