Come and talk to me if you've had 2 or more babies. Please

[MamaG]

hello, pregzilla here

Currently pg with No. 3

Assuming I don't have to have a CS and this blardy placenta shifts, I'm planning to have the same sort of birth as I did with the other two - big hospital, no fancy schmancy pool nonsense etc but I'm wondering if I should be a bit more open minded? I was fine with the other two births (first v long, had an epi, but I classed it as a positive birth experience), with DS it was much quicker with no drugs - again a positive birth experience.

I sort of feel like "if it aint broke, don't fix it" but then wonder if I'm a set-in-my-ways old hag?

Also after the birth, there's a lovely MW led unit closer to home where I was planning to transfer and have a few days after the birth. With DS I was sent packing 18 hours after having him and I immediately rushed into full on "coping mum of two" mode and absolutely exhausted myself. Now I'm starting to think I should get my arse home after the birth and look after my other two DC (not that DH isn't more than capable!)

Am waffling, I know, but I wondered if anybody had done things differently second and subsequent times and if so, what, why, did it work etc.

ta

Pregzilla x

Having had 2 babies and come home pretty much immediately after them (24 hours) I have to say I think after a third (on the cards for me too at the mo) I would be tempted to languish in hospital for as long as decently possible.......get the feeding sorted, get some sleep and a bit of help with it all. Let DH and any family care for the others for a couple of days while you re-charge your batteries a bit.

I know its tempting to rush home and be 'superwoman' but tbh been there, done it and there are no prizes. You just end up knackered, tearful and grumpy!!! (or I did at least).

Best of luck.

Yes I found taht with DS - I was in ASDA when he was 3 days old with DH and I jsut looked at him and said "I'll wait in the car with teh children", he said I was almost blue I was so pale! No prizes, like you say!

hi.
i had my dcs 1 and two in hospital, and couldn't wait to get home....both straightforward (apart from MILLIONS of stitches first time around)

i had a lovely planned home birth with my dc3, and really loved being here and not having to go anywhere. i felt really well after having him and was pleased with the whole experience. HOWEVER!!!!!

being at home (or in your case going home very soon after) it is very easy for people to kind of ignore the fact you've just given birth and you are not completely fair to yourself i don't think.... i had my ds at 5am and got up at 7am to make my other kids breakfast....(don't ask!!) i felt that had i have been in hospital, i would have had at least a physical rest, if not a sleep iykwim?

re giving birth...be confident that you know what you're doing...go with it and see how you feel about different positions, pain relief etc... you have far more of an idea about what you're doing, and are more able to recognise the stages of labourt, allowing you a bit more of an idea about how long left, how much worse the pain will be etc...

good luck! having 3 is fab!

Thanks a lot melly

With my first i was in hospital for 2 days (the norm then) and had positive experiences with all the midwives. However when i had ds1 and ds2 i had quick labours and spent no more than 6 hours total in hospital with each. However even though i did "rush" to get home i by no means rushed to be supermum. It was pre-arranged with mum and mil (or our siblings if ness) that first night would be me, dp and baby. Then dp takes two weeks and concentrates on other children - school run breakfasts etc. Im lucky because all my family live close and are willing to help.
And i think that very important take the help, and if its not forthcoming ask!

DD3 is 15 days old I had a homebirth BUT I laid down some rules, I did not "receive" visitors until DD3 was 4 days old (apart from a friend who took my washing home to do bless her). With DD2 I was in Asda the next morning with her and had visitors the next day including my useless witch of a mother who complained at the lunch she was served! 5 days after DD3 was born was DD1's 4th birthday and family actually asked why we were not having a BBQ for family. I also limitied the amount of visitors I had it may have pissed some of them off but I did not want 10 people in the house at one time sod that.

My mother eventually turned up 10 days after her grand-daughter was born, stayed for 3 hours then went home maybe we will see at Christmas (she hasn't visited in 6 months, MIL is equally as useless. DP has gone back to work now so am on my own with 3 of them now not too bad so far as hard as you would expect.

I hate hospitals and couldn't rest properly in one they are too noisy and hate every man and his dog popping their head round the curtain and asking you thinkgs like do you want pictures when you have yout tits out trying to BF.

Although my labour was an hour and a half this birth took the most out of me I lost a lot of blood and am anaemic now, never underestimate how bloody tiring it is having toddlers and a newborn, take as much time as you want.

If Carlsberg did births all post partum women would be sent off to a luxury health farm for a week with delicious food served up, night nannies and BF cousellors on standby and rest and sleep would be top of the agenda.

I would love to stay in hospital for more than 6 hours this time, am even older hag at 37 and 40+6 weeks with dc 4, I am considering making up an ailment so they cannot ask me to leave, have always asked to come home with others but this time would love a couple of days peace before the bitch of a MIL arrives to be waited on hand and foot, moan about her illnessess ( self diagnosed ) and ignores her grandchildren whilst expecting DH to do the same so she can have all his attention. SORRY RANT OVER...

jamie - are we related is your MIL my Mother, last year she had a "cancer scare" as diagnosed by google

I should go with what you want to do, what feels right for you, and not worry about what you might be missing out on.

I had
Baby 1 - emergency section in hospital, not in labour, scan picked up problem, baby born.
baby 2 - went in to labour naturally, had a VBAC and placenta removed in theatre (clearly I love theatres, Mamma Mia! more than hospital ones though)
baby 3 - planned a home birth with independent midwife. Had hospital birth and thank goodness I did.

I am pleased I have experienced a vaginal birth but in reality a home birth was never going to be right for us.

Now, what was the question again?