I don't like my midwife

[Mocheenee]

I don't know if I am being 'picky', but after meeting the midwife asigned to me at my NHS doctors surgery - I am less than impressed with her. This is my first pregnancy so I was dismayed at her total lack of enthusiasum or interest. On our first meeting she was strictly'to business' and only interested in her check off list of questions. At no point did she ask how I felt about the pregnancy, was it planned,etc (as it happens we are delighted after trying for a few months). I felt as though she was more interested in getting rid of me than building a good relationship. I understand that she does this day in day out - but surely a little bit of friendly support isn't too much to ask!
My question is - do I have to go to her when I have a pregnancy related illness/problem or can I book an appointment with my doctor instead? My mother in law was a midwife for 20 years but retired 10 years ago, so I feel I can get general advice from her rather than my actual midwife - or is this unwise based on how long ago she retired?
This is all new to me - help!

I can understand you not wanting your mother in law in with you at the birth, but if she is an ex midwife she would make a great birthing partner, and she needn't ever be down that end so to speak.

When you say 'attend' you at the birth, do you mean she would be 'the midwife'? Don't worry, if she's been 10 years retired it wouldn't be allowed She would no longer be registered as a midwife. She could of course be there at the birth as a supporter for you, though...if you wanted!

You have time to get to know your mw. On the other hand, it's quite possible you might not see much of her anyway, maternity services being what they are. She almost certainly won't be the one at the birth, as others have said.

NHS appointment slots are short and don't leave much time for smalltalk, I'm afraid!

I saw a different midwife at each appointment throughout my pregnancy, and 5 during labour and birth, then 2 more during hospital stay, and 2 different ones again for home visits afterwards! I think it is a sign of the times I'm afraid

I could have written the OP. My community midwife was just the same - totally uninterested. Luckily I only saw her for routine appointments as I has no complications at all.

My MIL is also a retired midwife so it was great to be able to have my questions answered whenever I needed.

As luck would have it that midwife was on holiday when I came home from hospital so I was visited by the most wonderful community midwife (I cried when she signed me off).

If I ever have another baby I will try to see if I can have the lovely one if at all possible.

Mocheenee- sounds just like my midwife! I was completely unimpressed by her attitude... and I'm in South Birmingham, so very close to you, though my midwife team will be different... maybe its something in the water?

She barely listened to the responses I gave her regarding medical conditions/ family history- kind of important as I have a heart condition!

I was told that until 17 weeks, for any illness/problems go to my GP not midwife.

This is my 3rd pg btw, so I know other midwives are not like this!