Any pg ladies with husbands who work v long hours? How do you/will you cope?

[kookiegoddess]

Just had a bit of a blub on the phone to my hubby because he's not going to be back till 10 tonight and I miss him all the time. He works in a bank and mostly I'm fine pottering, on MN, cooking nice dinner etc but occasionally I just want him there.

How do you cope when hubby works long hours? He leaves at 6am and doesn't usually get back till 8/8.30 - this will be a scarily long time with a baby I think. I'm very excited and happy to become a mum but am also realistic that it will be quite tough and wonder if anyone has tips for coping with this.

I am having a hard time at the mo because I don't know many people who work part time/from home so am at a bit of a loss for what to do with my days. Normally I make cakes for kids parties but am having so much pain wiht my back/pelvis that I don't want to do anymore in case it makes it worse. Most of my good friends work full time and aren't around during the day so I guess I'm just feeling a bit lonely. Any advice gratefully received. Sorry for ramble!

Also you never know what will happen once the baby comes. Having our little girl at home is a big incentive for my husband to say no to after work drinks, use the gym at lunchtime instead of early evening, and schedule his working day around getting home at a reasonable time (7.30/8) even if it means Blackberry all night or logging on after dinner for an hour or so. Sometimes it's not possible but you never know with that extra incentive...

Long hours yes but the not being there at all is worse. This week dh has been on nights on week, last week he was in the Middle East all week (he is an RAF doctor). The rest of the time he is often on-call, at meetings, away on courses etc etc etc.

I have a nearly 3 year old and a 4 1/2 year old and am 8 months pregnant! I find it hard to cope sometimes but you just get on with it mostly. I do sometimes explode and have a huge go at him - it doesn't really help though! It helps that when he is here he is usually very hands on.

I am thinking of getting help at bathtimes from a local girl when I have three of them - I think I will need it.

I am on the antenatal thread on here a lot at the moment, it feels like I am talking to someone then! I am giving up work next week but have worked two days a week up to this point (used to work three). Working helps me keep my sanity.

Kookie Just realised where you live - it is a great area for being a mum. Try toddler groups (churches often run these), baby swimming, NCT (as others have said), baby yoga if that's your thing, baby music (there are HUNDREDS of different groups round there). Repeat until you find one you like and you will eventually meet some other mums. NCT though I found a lifeline after I'd had ds.

Right go to go, am neglecting my dcs

Kookie - my DH works really long hours too. I used to before had DS (now finish work at 5.30 to get home to put DS to bed and find myself dawdling away long evenings). Its actually alot less lonely when you have a very little baby to look after as you're so focused on them.

If you're really worried about copied when you have the little one and DH has to go back to long hours at work, maybe worth thinking about a postnatal doula for a couple of hours a few days a week (great for helping with baby, breastfeeding etc and keeping you company). I had one when DH went back to work after I had DS and was worth every penny.

And as for meeting people, met loads through NCT and pregnancy yoga classes (you'll find as you get nearer to delivery dates, people take things alot more slowly and dont rush straight off - probably because they're too big to move anywhere at speed) and then once baby was born, at babycafe breastfeeding support classes, through pushymothers (baby and mother outdoor exercise classes), mother and toddler groups, gymboree etc. There are so many things to do, DS and I managed to cram each of our days full for my six months of maternity leave and was quite grateful for the peace and quiet in the evenings before DH came home!

Sorry - last message should say "really worried about coping"...

pregnancy brain kicking in again (pregnant with no2 now)