unreasonable?? PANIC over idea of giving birth!

[star6]

After responding to another thread, I decided I should start my own... I have come a long way in 27 weeks of pregnancy with this, but recently, the slightest detail can send me off into an extreme panic about giving birth. I have nightmares/dreams about it often. It has always been a fear of mine... even before finding out I was pregnant.
Anyone else totally freaked out about the idea of giving birth??? Or does this sound just irrational?

Bloody he*!!!star6, can you believ these husbands!!! they can splash on their cars or buying art for thousands pounds when we do not really need it, but my DH just cannot get it: to pay that much for few hours when you can get all the drugs on NHS. he just does not know the hospitals here, because, thanks God, he has been always healthy and never had any surgeries, etc. and he obviously cannot imagine how much pain it is!!!! I am just so ped with him, but I can't just ran away with the money!! I wish could
One of the problems with epidurals i have heard that it slows contractions so it may take longer, and they may not to top up the drugs.... I just do not have much faith in our NHS system, but then you may get lucky and get a good MW..... who will top you up! I am in Herts, so have a choice between Barnet and Watford. Barnet said they won't give me just one MW for ante natal appointments: they have a whole "crew" there apparently. Watford's MF comes to our town's surgery and she will be the only one taking care of me throughout the whole thing. But then going to Watford general: I am sh scared, it has not got good reputation....

how long does it take from the moment you water breakes to the actual birth? maybe, star6, you can go to the hospital after you water breaks??otherwise they most likely will send you home...

I usually see a dr at my antenatal appointments (am 27 weeks). mw only comes once per week and can hardly ever get an appointment with her. Then, at the hospital, the MWs could be one of many on the special day.
I can't imagine giving birth epidural-free.
You're not that far away ranirani - how far along are you? we should get together sometime

No one is kicking me out of the waiting room
LOL I'll sit down in A&E, where I might just go unnoticed amongst the sea of people that is there every day!!

Starlight has given some good info there.

Waters - it doesn't happen in the Hollywood gush in the middle of the supermarket for everyone y'know. Mine didn't break until I was pushing, midwife was just about to break them for me when they popped all over her... heh heh.

Thanks starlight that helps a lot!! I can't imagine how uncomfortable it's going to feel...
I'm also planning to work up until I go into labour...as my maternity leave (with 90% pay, can't afford to live on the SMP) is so short and want to make the most of it.

that must be a sight, RhinestoneCowgirl
I am in Radlett, star6, do you know the sex of your baby?? and i gather it is your first one, so congrats!!
my first appointment with MF is this Thursday, so I am v excited!! can't wait... to be honest I can't wait for the whole pregnancy this to be over so i can just have fun with my baby and all that baby stuff shopping!!! I am already looking everywhere on line for different things. I think this is the best part of it have a little tiny baby that you can look after and play with and shopping

I agree ranirani - I'm trying to focus on that aspect as well!! Netmums has a lot of offers on stuff mums are selling second hand that is still in good (some unused even!) condition and a small fraction of the price.
Sonographer said she thinks it's a boy at 21 week scan... we're referring to it as a "him" so I hope she was right. Do you know the sex of yours?? Congrats to you, too!

nope, we are too small, 8 weeks only
there is aso the website called discountvouchers.com that gives you discount codes for any retailer that they have at the moment. You just need to add the code as you check out on line ot sometimes there are vouchers to be printed out. Some really good stuff there. last week i printed out a voucher 2 for 1 for pizza express and saved £10 on a meal. you can print as many vouchers you want and for this one (Pizza express nationally) they run out on 6th of Aug, so i guess i will be seen more in our local pizza express now
loads of stuff, like where is the cheapest petrol near you with al these prices ging up like crazy!!!

I'm jealous that you have so far to go
DH got the pizza express deal from a colleague... That one is excellent!!! Thanks for the website - now we know where to get stuff like that

i am telling you, this pizza express stuff was great, the whole restaurent was packed, i have never seen tthat busy on thursday night. you see I am the opposite, i want it to be over asap, the whole pregnancy thing, I can't bear that I cannot be myself: healthy strng and cheerful soul. I can't sleep at night: my breasts are so sore!! and getting up 4-5 times at night to empty your bladder is no fun either. now my morning sickness is kicking in and it seems the only way to deal with it for me is to munch on something, which will be adding even more weight!!!! plus fatigue..... oh, the list goes forever!!!!!!1

yeah you're right... thanks for the reminder! Thankfully, morning sickness has gone now, that was dreadful!!! But now exhausted more and would like to get back to my normal shape!!

I think i will start a thread on epidural experience some time soon. Just to get feedback form everyone as to what is the best way to tackle it with topping up and not coming in too late. Good to be prepared, dont you think?

I think there was a thread on epidurals a while ago.. but didn't address the top up issue, I don't think. That's a good idea
I looked at where you are from - that's about an hour from me. I am dreadful with geography around here (not from here originally).

Had epidural when giving birth to DS - on midwive's advice waited until was at least 4cm dilated so didnt delay labour (though was being induced so really couldnt tell what impact that had!). Epidurals are great and obviously help alot of women deal with giving birth in their comfort zone (Which is bloody important) - from my perspective, the problem with an epidural is that, unless you have a "walking epidural" (so you can still feel something and walk around) you're likely to end up being stuck on your back in bed - including during the pushing bit (which I didnt want but evil midwife from hell wouldnt let me try any other position due to epidural), could find it hard to tell when to push and may well end up with more intervention in the birth...

I'm a bit nervous about giving birth, but probably in the way any first timer is rather than being actually phobic. My mum had a hard delivery with me and I heard horror stories from a young age about how she almost died, nd how bad she felt. It's really coloured my perception, and as my due date approaches I'm finding it hard not to be a bit scared
But Starlight, your points really helped, so thank you. I'm sure as I approach the time, I'll be so tired of being pregnant I will be willing the baby out! Well, actually I'm starting to get like that now and I'm only 35 weeks, heh.

What I'll be trying to hold onto is that it's a natural process with a limited time span, it will end at some point and then of course you get a wonderful baby. And believe me I am SO impatient to meet my baby boy already

Have you considered hypnobirthing? I am pregnant with my first, and my major isue is being scared of giving birth... So looked into hypnobirthing and am doing a course in September. There nis a whole 'fear release' bit, which is supposed to help with fear issues... Just a thought.

Anyone who's feeling nervous/terrified of giving birth should give hypnotherapy serious consideration - I used it first time round, things didn't go entirely smoothly but I felt that the majority of the time I was able to stay calm and in control, when I lost it and panicked a couple of times the contractions felt a lot more painful.

When you are scared and anxious your muscles in your uterus tense up, this will actually slow down your labour and make it much more painful, as the muscles need to be relaxed in order to push the baby out effectively.

When you're frightened you experience the fight or flight response, blood circulating around your uterus (and other organs that are not needed in the fight or flight response) is diverted to other areas eg limbs in order to run away. Your uterus is then starved of oxygenated blood, again making it more difficult for the muscles to work effectively.

With hypnotherapy you can begin to reprogramme the way you think about labour and birth, and train yourself to respond in a calm way.

Marie Mongan's book Hypnobirthing is good, (it goes into the tension, fear, pain syndrome that I've prattle on about above). And Natal Hypnotherapy CD's can be useful, but if you're really terrified seeing a hypnotherapist would be really beneficial. But they are quite expensive.

Star6 and ranirani - it sounds like you gys would really benefit from the classes run by your local MWs, or NCT. THey help you through all of this and explain the anatomy (so you understand what actually happens during an internal exam etcetc), about the different stages of labour (so you don't have to pitch a tent at the hospital ) and about all your pain relief options. Depending on how your labour goes, an epidural may not be needed, you may be able to cope better on pethidine and gas and air. it all depends.

What ever you do, do not watch any of the american birth programmes on discovery home and health - so not how it is done in the UK.

Chill out - you have loads of time to prepare and learn about all this

im not sure if this is the best solution but have you thought about an elective c-section. Ive never had one but i know people who have for a number of reasons and at least if you knew that was the route you were taking it might help you to relax now.

re- the other points people made about how long from waters beaking and best point for epidural -- everyone is very different and its extremely hard to tell what your labour is going to be like, how long, how painful, waters breaking etc before it happens. Also im not great with pain but i find when in labour (im pregnant with my fourth) my body takes over, i cant talk and i just get on with it. ive had relatively quick labours and managed them all without pain relief, not as a conscious decision before but thats what felt right at the time.

Ranirani, I had two internal exams. When I arrived at the hospital my waters had broken and I already had an urge to push. I was checked and told I was only 2 cm and was not to push. About 4 hours later I was checked again to see if I was ready for an epidural because they were worried that I would cause problems if I couldn't control the pushing. They discovered I was fully dilated and told me it was time to push and I couldn't have any pain relief. I was a bit upset but I found that the pushing did not hurt me at all. I'm very glad in retrospect that I didn't need an epidural.

Anyway, my point is that both the exams were useful and were really not such a big deal in the whole process.