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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

So when did you start telling people you were pregnant?

29 replies

Playingthe9monthwait · 04/07/2008 15:29

Just got my first ever BFPs yesterday (and again this morning ) and its got me wondering... when should I start telling people? I know its very early days (I am about 5 weeks) and everything could go wrong yet but even if I wait to the "magical" 12 weeks mark things could still go wrong and surely if it did I would want support from the people I care about?

Now I am not talking about telling everyone but I can't wait to share the news with my closest friends and immediate family (will not only be my first but the first granchild and neice/nephew on both sides of the family) so everyone will be delighted, or at least they should be . Part of me thinks I should just go for it and tell them, the other part of me thinks its far too early and I am just tempting fate.

So my question to all you lovely people is when did you tell your nearest and dearest and why did you choose to tell them at that particular stage?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mazzystar · 04/07/2008 15:32

with ds
flatmate and mum @6 weeks
work @10 weeks [was sick every morning, they would have guessed]
the world and his wife @13 weeks

with dd
mum day of bfp test
everyone else - when they noticed

TheMuppetMuggle · 04/07/2008 15:33

My family found out i was pregnant when i found out as dating scan i had told me i was 10 weeks pg but DD father also decided he wasn't ready for responsibilty so told my mum who's been great throughout

yama · 04/07/2008 15:35

Congratulations!

I think I waited until around 13 weeks. I was on my own though and I treated it as our little secret. I was amazed that no-one guessed as it's not like me to refuse a drink but they didn't.

Original poster

Playingthe9monthwait · 04/07/2008 15:37

Wow quick responses guys, thanks. Keep them coming!

OP posts:

PhoebeLaura · 04/07/2008 15:46

I told immediate family after a couple of days of finding out (at 5 weeks) then best friends a couple of weeks later then work and anyone else who'd listen at 12 weeks.
I don't regret telling family straight away. DH and I had a few days of it as our little secret and then I was looking forward to telling the grandparents to be. Like you, first grandchild on both sides so v exciting. i just couldn't have lasted until 12 weeks without telling my Mum.
I felt a bit like you - if things had gone wrong they would be the people I would want to know about it.
Congratulations by the way - lovely news!

Pinkjenny · 04/07/2008 15:48

I told everyone when I found out, then started bleeding , so had to un-tell everyone, IYSWIM. When I had my scan to see if I had miscarried, LO was fine, but I chose not to tell anyone that the bean was OK (apart from my mum) until after my 12 week scan.

If I had another I would wait 12 weeks.

Congratulations, fab news! And don't let me put you off, dd was fine, she's 14mo!!

ChocOrange05 · 04/07/2008 15:48

We told close family (parents and siblings) straight away when I was 6 weeks and then told some others between 8 and 10 weeks. Our thinking was that before 12 weeks we would tell anyone who we would probably tell if something went wrong - so some work colleagues and friends who we might want support from. After 12 weeks we told everyone else.

Also it was a bit of a surprise for us so it helped us get used to the idea by talking about it.

ChocOrange05 · 04/07/2008 15:49

Oops - rude me....

Congrats!!!

hanaflowerisnothana · 04/07/2008 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hattyyellow · 04/07/2008 15:51

I think it depends who you would want to know if something did go wrong.

We told parents and close siblings early on - knowing they would not tell anyone else until we were happy all seemed okay.

I told a few close friends at about 8 weeks as my family aren't nearby and I really wanted someone to know and understand if things did go wrong.

Everyone else 12 weeks on, after the scan.

I just couldn't have faced untelling everyone if something did go wrong, it would seem a constant reminder of what had happened.

Would your immediate family keep it quiet or would news spread?

EyeballsintheSky · 04/07/2008 15:55

As the word 'pregnant' appeared on the stick. I have zero patience...

Original poster

Playingthe9monthwait · 04/07/2008 16:03

I am not worried about them telling people I am more worried about the other way round.

We live in a fairly small country town where it is hard to keep any secrets! My sis lives in a pub (her DP in the landlord) which we frequent several times a week (as does my bro, Mum and Dad). Everyone knows me there, including all the bar staff, who will eventually realise I am not drinking (so unlike me ) also everyone knows we are thinking of starting a family at some point in the near future. My DH is the least subtle person I know and he quite happily told anyone that would listen that we were thinking of starting a family in the not too distant future. If a rumour starts going round I would hate for family to find out that way.

Oh and thanks for the Congratulations, they are very nice but I didn't start the thread so people could congratulate me, so don't worry if you didn't!!!
I would rather tell them now just in case and try and keep it quiet from everyone else as long as possible

OP posts:

thomasina1 · 04/07/2008 16:03

Congratulations!

I agree with Hatty, only tell people who you would want to know if something went wrong. We waited a couple of weeks before telling family (at 7 weeks) - it was actually nice having some time for just us to get used to the idea. Then a few close friends at about 10 wks, everyone else after 12 wk scan.

Original poster

Playingthe9monthwait · 04/07/2008 16:04

I think

OP posts:

thomasina1 · 04/07/2008 16:05

It's a negative way to think about it but I would consider who you would tell if you miscarried - I'm sure you would tell family as you'd need their support. Therefore you may as well tell them ASAP!

glaskham · 04/07/2008 16:06

never really waited... with ds did the test at my mums and my sisters were there, told other friends after about 6-8wks... and with dd told my mum the same day i got the bfp, and same with freidns and family....

oh thinking about it we told DH's dad and step-mum at around 14 weeks... strange they never noticed beforehand as i was hospitalised for about 4 wks before then with hyperemesis. Though just before we told them step-MIL guessed, but said it was only because she thought i was showing!!

zoejeanne · 04/07/2008 16:06

We kept it a little secret between us until 10 weeks, which we loved having! At 10 weeks (a week before the scan) we told our immediate families, timed to coincide with our Dad's birthday (they share a birthday, so we added another reason to celebrate). Then friends and work after the scan, once all was fine. Oh, I did tell my yoga teacher straight away cause I scared of bending too much and hurting it!

Z.x

Saymyname · 04/07/2008 16:08

Straight after my 12 week scan.

Original poster

Playingthe9monthwait · 04/07/2008 16:11

Oh and my last post did seem a bit negative, I didn't mean it that way. Was just really answering Hatty and thinking aloud! That would never be my main reason but I suppose it is a consideration. Just feel really torn in all directions!!!

No chance already of it being a special secret. DH has already told half his work colleague and a few of his/our close friends!

OP posts:

glitterstar88 · 04/07/2008 17:16

With DS told my parents, my partners parents and my best friend on the day i got a positive. Everyone else started finding out about 12 weeks. With this one im 17 weeks and only my partner, son and my mum and dad know. Im waiting for my partner to tell his parents before telling everyone else.

notcitrus · 04/07/2008 19:25

Found out from a GP letter, so obviously told MrNC immediately and did a urine test to confirm. Saw GP who suggested I might be 14-16 weeks, and told couple close people at that point, and then after the weekend the dating scan confirmed 14.3 weeks, at which point I agreed with Mr NC we could go public, took cakes into work, emailed the whole planet, phoned my parents that evening, etc.

I'm so glad I didn't find out earlier as I wouldn't have wanted to say anything to most people until 12 weeks were up (loads of miscarriages in my family), but found myself totally incapable of not talking about it. Admittedly there was a large amount of 'OMG how could I not notice for so long, given I was trying to get preg and have a doctorate in embryology...'

Natalie1984 · 04/07/2008 21:08

i didnt think i could have kids and i found out i was pregnant at 5 wks and just couldnt contain myself and told eveyone so did hubby, at the end of the day if god forbid anythig goes wrong then at least u got plenty of support

minouminou · 04/07/2008 22:32

everyone who picked up their phones within 5 minutes of blue line

bikerunski · 05/07/2008 13:48

DH - about an hour after BFP (he was out, didn't want to tell him by phone), which I got at about 5 weeks
Mum, sister and PIL - about 7 weeks
Line manager and "right hand man" at work - 9 weeks as I was so ill
Friends and other family - 13 weeks
Other collegues - 17 weeks, after spell in hospital I went back to work part time. Was previously workaholic, so they knew summat was up!

Would have waited to tell everyone at 13 weeks except was going skiing with my sister at week 7, so told her (and thus only fair to tell mum and PIL), then ill and off work from weeks 9- 17, so had to tell them.

Actually, I did ring my mum the same day I got BFP, but she was out!

daisy26 · 05/07/2008 15:06

I found at 6wks bugger if i cud keep it in for another 6wks, i just wanted to tell everyone so i did plus its our first child and she will be a 1st grandchild to both our mums, just cudn't of kept it in hehe-i told work to well the family i worked for, parents, kids i had to keep i from them as im a nanny, that was hard enough

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